


The Bard and Blessed

by Akoia



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Antiva, Assassins, Bards, Child Abuse, Crushes, Elvhen Pantheon, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mages and Templars, Magic, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Music, Rebellion, Spies & Secret Agents, Spirits, Val Royeaux, Very slow burn romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-06-29 22:43:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 73,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15738816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akoia/pseuds/Akoia
Summary: A young woman dies and finds herself clawing to survive in the unforgiving landscapes of Thedas. She learns to harden her heart and become a fearsome assassin. While she grows up she finds herself trying to hide from the mistakes of her previous life as well keeping out of the eyes of Templars or Fen'Harel and his devious plans. But it seems she's drawn to trouble like a moth to a flame.





	1. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what ya'll think about this one.

**9:22**

The beginning of my new life was a bit confusing. I died. At only twenty-five years old, I wrapped my car around a tree. Don’t drink and drive, kiddos. But it wasn’t over. There was no bright lights, no trumpets, no pearly gates. Nothing, but the feeling of flying through the air. Then I woke up in someone else’s body.  

My first memory of that world is waking up to a man putting bandages on my back. Everything  _hurt._ My entire body  _hurt._ The person who was helping me was talking to someone who was playing an instrument softly somewhere in the room.

“ _Really?_ ” the man asked. “She was the only survivor of that Dalish camp.” He was speaking Spanish, a familiar relic of my childhood.  

I heard the other person in the room hum. His voice was deep and raspy. “So no family then?” He was  _also_ speaking Spanish.  

“No.”

“No?” The other voice laughed. “No one looking for her, a dalish elf? She’d be a wonderful bard when she gets a bit older.”

The first man sighed. “Well… I suppose you could _convince me_ to turn a blind eye if there were a few gold coins on my desk.”

“Very well. I’ll buy her for ten Andris.”

“A little low, don’t you think?”

“She’s half dead, she might not even make it through the night. Even if she does, look at her. A skinny knife-ear who can’t be older than three or four? She’ll be costing me money for years yet. I think I’m _overpaying you,_ honestly.”

The first person sighed. “Very well, ten will do.”

“Fantastic! Have it delivered to my home when you’re finished.”   

* * *

The man who took me in was called Lucio. My first day in his care he dropped a lute into my tiny hands and told me that I had a week to learn a song, or he’d slit my throat. I’m alive, so I _obviously_ learned a song, but it was clumsy and unprofessional. He’d put a knife through my foot to remind me what being clumsy would cost me. 

It was a month into the strange training that I finally got a look at myself. The ears didn’t surprise me, not when Lucio referred to me exclusively as ‘knife-ear’. I still had my brown skin and black hair, but my eyes were now a bright violet. I was young, like he thought, about three years of age.

“Who stabs a toddler?” I asked him, scrunching up my face and turning away from the mirror. Lucio stumbled into our home with a drink in his hand. He glared at me in confusion. “You stabbed me, remember? _I’m almost fresh out of the womb_!”

He threw his head back and laughed loudly, pounding his hand down on the table. “You’re a ballsy little knife-ear, aren’t you?”

I rolled my eyes and walked away from him. He’d want something to eat, and if he didn’t get it, he was going to start throwing things at me. We had a loaf of bread and some butter, so that would have to do. I put the bread on the table and pushed it over to him.

“Want to know where I was, knife-ear?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m going to tell you anyways.” He propped his feet up on a chair and ripped off a piece of bread and ate it. “I was killing someone.”

“I’m _so_ surprised.” I reached forward to grab some of the bread, but he slapped my hand away.

“It was just some old woman, but I got forty royals. Had to cut her from stem to stern for it, though!” He laughed loudly again and smacked the table. “Now… “ He leveled me with one of his ‘looks.’ “Where are royals the main currency?”

“Orlais,” I answered instantly.

He smirked at me and mussed my hair, pushing my head roughly to the side. “Good! I thought I was going to have to smack you around again for not paying attention.” I touched a bruise that I still had on my arm. One of many.

He pulled his flute and played a tune softly. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the table. “I thought Bards were spies,” I said. “You’re a terrible spy.”

He ignored me, continuing with his tune. Maybe he didn’t even hear me. When he was finished he put his flute down. “Knife-ear, look up,” he said. I did and he smacked me across the face with his stupid flute.

I fell out of my chair and I could feel blood on my lip. I looked up at him and he was tapping his flute in the palm of his hand. “Didn’t see that coming, did ya?”

“Still doesn’t mean that you’re a good spy,” I said angrily. I sat up and glared up at him. “Do you feel like a big man, because you can beat up on a toddler.”

“Watch it, knife-ear, or you might just wind up with a few broken fingers,” he warned teasingly. He put his flute back into his pack and stood up. “I’m going to see a few whores tonight, have the place cleaned up before I get back.” He kicked me as he left.

I stood up and glared at the space where he had previously been standing. “Jack-ass,” I said to the empty space. I grabbed the bread and ate the rest of it in a few bites. I grabbed a bucket and went down to the apartment’s square where there was a well. There were a few older women who helped me out, I thanked them with a smile and went back up as quickly as I could.

The thing I hated most about whatever had happened to bring me here was that everything was so much bigger than I was. When I was three the first time, I didn’t remember what an inconvenience that was, but now I was _very_ aware of it.  

It took me a few hours to scrub the floors until they were clean. Lucio was always tracking in mud and blood with him whenever he came home. When I was finished, I grabbed the lute he’d given to me and sat in the pillowed area that looked out on the city. I strummed a familiar tune, humming along quietly.         

The only time Lucio didn’t mess with me was when I was practicing. He told me on my first day there that there were only three things that should matter to me. Money, music, and murder.

“ _Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_   
_How I wonder what you are,_   
_Up above the world so high_   
_Like a diamond in the sky_   
_Twinkle, twinkle little star,_   
_How I wonder what you are._   


_When the glorious sun has set,_   
_And the grass with dew is wet,_   
_Then you show your little light,_ _  
_ Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.

_When the golden sun doth rise,_

_Fills with shining light the skies,_

_Then you fade away from sight,_

_Shine no more 'till comes the night._ _”_

 

I was pleased that it sounded relatively good. I’d been playing the same song almost constantly. Along with a few other simple melodies that I’d remembered from my old world.

I wondered if I could ever go back there. It wasn’t likely, I was s _uper_ dead. But now I wasn’t and that was… I wasn’t really sure. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore, right? Now I was the Dalish Elvhen child who was simply referred to as knife-ear. Who was apparently being trained to be a Bard. I had thought they were only in Olais. I guess it would make sense for there to be Bards in Antiva, I just wondered how that would work out, with the Crows and all. The last thing I wanted was to get on _their_ bad side.

 _“Once we were in our peace, with our lives assured_   
_Once we were not afraid of the dark_   
_Once we sat in our kingdom with hope and pride_ _  
_ Once we ran through the fields with great strides.”

Another song that was familiar to me, but would also be familiar to people in this world. I set my lute down and pressed my face against the glass and watched the people moving outside. The sun was down, so the only people who were out and about were the shady kind.

I stepped away from my seat and lit some candles so Lucio wouldn’t hurt himself on the way in. It was a challenge to put them in places where he wouldn’t burn down the apartment, but I did my best. When everything was set I crawled into the closet where he made me sleep. I pulled the thin blanket over my shoulders and snuggled into my pillow.

* * *

He smelled like booze, with his head laid down on the table. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “Hey, wake up you lump!” I yelled at him, throwing a dish towel at his head. He grunted and lashed out at the open air with his dagger. “We don’t have any food.”

“Wha.. “ He looked at me with squinted eyes, before sitting back down and covering his eyes with his hand. “Then go get some.”

“I _can’t,_ I don’t have any money, you’re an adult so you should go.”

He reached into his pocket and threw a bag at me. It smacked me in the forehead. I picked it up from the floor and looked inside. “Fine then,” I said. I didn’t have a cloak or even shoes so I would just have to rough it and suffer.

It was a very hot summer day in Antiva so my feet were burning. I hopped along the cobblestone, cursing as I pushed through people. If I got to the main market area, I knew there would be some shade to cool off my poor burning toes.

The market was as busy as it ever was. There were people screaming back and forth at fair prices. Merchants were yelling at people who passed by to come and look at what they were selling. I walked over to the baker, who didn’t give me a second glance at first.

“Excuse me sir, I would like to buy some bread,” I told him, pulling out the five copper coins that I’d seen Lucio paying for the loaf. The man looked down at me and my money before snatching the coins out of my hands and throwing a loaf of bread at me, and shoving me away from his stall. I huffed at him and continued on my way.

Lucio would be pissed if I didn’t get him wine, so I picked him up a bottle. I was surprised that no one even blinked at a three-year-old buying liquor. I bought myself a small cut of cheese for dinner, a few veggies, and some more butter. I grabbed four eggs and some slabs of dried meat. It should last us through the week, longer if Lucio wasn’t greedy.

I wanted to explore the market more, but the bag was already heavy in my arms. So I walked forward, looking down at my feet so I wouldn’t step on anything with so much crap in my arms. I bumped into someone and fell backwards. I looked up at glared at the person I had run into.

He was tall with long silver hair and pointed ears. He was also in that stupid little cape the Crows wore around town when they wanted to look important.

“Ah, forgive me.” He said, leaning down and putting my fallen items back in the bag. He picked up the bag and held his hand out to me. I took it, and he helped me to my feet, brushing the dirt off of the back of my shirt. He paused for a moment and recognition dawned on his face. “Oh, a moment if you would, you wouldn’t happen to be Lucio’s new charge would you?” He asked.

“Sure,” I said with a shrug, taking my stuff back from him. “Thanks.” I walked away from him but he reached out and grabbed my shoulder gently.

“Would you mind telling me where your teacher is? I have some business to discuss with him.”        

I groaned and rolled my eyes, stomping a foot on the ground. “You aren’t fighting him in the house, got that? If you two break anything inside I’m going to be pissed!”

“Excuse me?”

“ _Please,_ do I look stupid?” I asked. “You, an Antivan Crow, accidentally bumps into the one person you knew would know where Lucio is hiding. Why didn’t you just go get him while he was at the brothel last night? All men ever do is cause me problems. If you wanna kill him, then follow me, but you’re waiting outside because my house is already a mess as it is.”

The man smiled wickedly at me and rested his hand atop my head. “Smart little thing, aren’t you?” He sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Very well, dear, show me the way.”

“Great, let’s go,” I gestured with my head back to the apartment. We walked as quick as my stubby legs would carry me. Lucio was already outside, a bottle of wine in hand. “Hey! Asshole!” I yelled at him and gestured to the crow with my chin. “Make it quick, I’m making breakfast.” I told him, walking up the stairs.

I set the bag down on our rickety table. There were people screaming outside as the fighting began. I got a fire going and set a pot of water over it to get it boiling. I felt awful for the nabours. Whenever I cooked, the whole complex would get like over a hundred and fifteen degrees at least. But they also benefited from it. We were the only people in the complex who had a stove, so whenever I got it going, they would bring their food over and I would cook it for them. For a price, naturally.

I threw the eggs into a bowl and cooked them up. They wouldn’t last through the day otherwise. I sprinkled some cheese on top and put one plate where Lucio sat and the other across from him. I gave him three pieces of the dried meat and gave myself half of one. Then I chopped up and cooked some hot peppers for him.

He came back with blood splattered over the front of his shirt, a bottle of wine in hand. “It’s a fucking furnace in here!” He said in irritation, moving to open the window, which really wouldn’t do anything.  He flopped down in his chair and started eating, shoveling his food into his mouth hole like a god damned wild animal.

“Who did you piss off to get the Crows sent after you?” I asked him, eating at a much slower pace.

“No contract, this one was personal,” he said with a smirk. He went back to his food and we ate in silence. When he was finished he pushed his plate towards me. I rolled my eyes and took it, standing up and putting them in the bucket full of soapy water. “I heard you practice last night,” he said.

“Oh, yeah? You gonna stab me again?” I asked with narrowed eyes.

“No, no, well... _no.”_ He sat back and observed me. “You’ve come a long way. Before long you’ll be performing.”

“Oh goody,” I said flatly.

“Say, knife-ear, do you remember being Dalish?” He asked me.

I looked at him in surprise. “Kind of? I mean, it’s not like I’ve got all the finer details or anything. I remember a few of the songs and stuff.”

“Fantastic, next month we’re going to be performing in a tavern. You’ll be playing while I eliminate the target.” He stood up and walked to his room, grabbing the new bottle of wine. “Do not disappoint me.”  

* * *

I did not disappoint. People tipped me, but Lucio took all of it and told me that was his payment for keeping me around. Dick. But he did give me a sweat roll for a job well done. He didn’t yell or hit me for most of the week either. He had me sit down next to him and he played me a song. A lullaby of some kind.

“Lucio, why did you take me in?” I asked him when he was finished with his song.

He didn’t answer at first. I looked up at him and I saw that his eyes were closed, a rare look of serenity on his aged face. His eyes slid open and he looked down at me. “If you’re expecting some kind of heart-warming answer, you’re going to be disappointed.”

“I don’t expect any sentimentality from you.”  

“Good… that’s good,” he said with a sigh. “Someone once upon a time fucked me over. I’m not going to be a Bard forever, you know.”

“So I’m your replacement, then?”

“That’s right, knife-ear, and you’ll be the best damned Bard Antiva’s ever seen. Even if it kills you.”

I rolled my eyes and rested my head against his knee. ‘Will you play for me, just a little while longer.”

“Sure, kid,” he said before lifting his flute back to his lips.


	2. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to lie, I've turned this girl into my DnD character with my friends. New trope idea, modern character in DnD.

**9:24**

I smiled as I strummed my lute for the people gathered in the Tavern. I was starting to make a good name for myself. I was ‘the whelp Lucio trained’ by the people in the city who knew us. But they never seemed unhappy when I played my music for them.

 

_“I_ was scared of assassins and the dark I  
was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations  
Oh, all my friends are turning green  
You're the magician's assistant in their dreams”

I looked out into the crowd and I could see my teacher moving through the shadows. I guess all my training was paying off. I wondered who he was going to kill today. The pretty barmaid? The prince who was in the middle of a secret meeting? Or the old man who bounced his leg along with the tune I played.

I was living years before the main plot of the three games even happened. Which was fine with me. If I stayed in Antiva then I didn’t have to worry about the Darkspawn ripping me to bits. Or rogue mages, or demons or something equally as unpleasant. There was the occasional pirate or Qunari that we had to worry about. Or sometimes even attacks from Tevinter. But nothing to the degree of what would happen if I was in Ferelden. If I never set foot in the dog capital of Thedas, it would be too soon.

I saw Lucio pull a man into the darkness and I knew that I was almost finished for the night. I played one more song, something fast paced for people to get up and dance to. When I finished I bowed and the people clapped for me. A few of them complained that it was over, so I gave them shy smile and left the tavern.

Lucio met me in the alleyway, his head tilted upwards, a satisfied smile on his lips. I often saw him gazing up at the stars. When I cared enough to ask, he'd glare at me, and tell me to mind my own business. So I stopped asking. 

I handed my tips over to him with a huff, crossing my arms over my chest. He took the small bag from my hands and tucked it into his jacket pocket. He grinned at me and shoved me forward, back to the apartment we shared.

“Why do you make me give you all my money?” I demanded.

“Because, you need to earn it, kiddo,” he told me. “I do the killin’ so I get the money. When you start taking out your marks, then you can keep your coin, but until then it’s _my_ money.”

I glared and huffed. “It's not fair.”

“Life ain’t fair,” he said. He opened the door and pushed me inside, locking it behind me.

“I feel like I’m doing a lot of work and getting nothing in return!” I snapped, stomping my foot on the ground. I didn’t make it a habit to throw fits, I was still technically an adult. But I still had the brain development of a child. So sometimes my emotions ran away with me. “You’re always pushing me around and beating up on me, but I don’t get anything for it!”

He smacked me in the face. “Shut it, your voice is annoying.”

“ _You’re_ annoying!” I screamed.

We both jumped back in surprise when our kitchen counter burst into flames. Lucio cursed and ran to grab the bucket of water by the door. He dropped some towels in the water and tried to smother the flames. “Knock it off, brat!” He yelled at me, his angry voice rattling the house.

“I don’t know how!” I screamed back. I felt something cold in my chest and I slid down to the ground, watching him trying to put out the flames. Eventually, he managed to put it out and had gotten a huge burn on his arm for his troubles. He rounded on me with a blank look in his eyes, moving towards me at a slow crawl. I pushed myself further into the wall. “I didn’t mean too,” I said, tears springing to my eyes.

He crouched down and grabbed my chin, looking at me with great intensity. “I know, knife-ear, I know.” He pulled his hand away and rubbed his face taking several deep breaths. When he looked at me again, I saw the shine of greed in his eyes. “This is...perfect.”

“W...what?”

“A Bard, who’s a mage, you’ll be so powerful. No one will ever catch you, not when you can use magic to assassinate your targets.” His eyes were wild and his smile stretched across his face unnaturally. He was squishing my face between his hands, cackling. “We should find you a tutor. We don’t want you to get thrown into the Circle, do we?”

I smacked his hand away and quickly got up, running to the other side of the room. “What’s wrong with you?!” I shouted at him. I wrapped my arms around myself and hunched over. “Why are you so happy?” I asked him. “Shouldn’t you be angry? I almost burnt down the apartment, and you...you’re really hurt. Why aren’t you mad?”

“Oh?” He tilted his head to the side and grinned at me. “I’m furious, I’m going to beat you bloody for it, you little bitch. But the power you have inside you… that makes me ecstatic. You are mine and so your power is mine!”

I tried to run, but he grabbed me by the back of my shirt and threw me down to the ground. He was standing over me, large and imposing. He raised his fist and brought it down and punched me in the jaw. My teeth snapped shut and I bit my tongue. The beating continued on and off throughout the night. He didn't stop until one of the people living in the apartment banged on our door. He threw a rag at me, sneering in disgust at the blood on his hands.

“Get cleaned up, we’re leaving in the morning,” he said, giving me a final kick in the ribs.

I had so many bruises that it was hard to tell where one started and another ended. I looked in the mirror and touched my face, wincing when I so much as brushed against one of the ugly marks. When I had cleaned the blood off of my face, I looked at Lucio who was sitting at the table, humming a jolly song.

“I’m going to kill you one day, you know that, old man?” I told him, meeting his eyes through the mirror. 

He grinned at me viciously, showing off his teeth. He raised his bottle of whiskey to me. “I wish you luck, knife-ear, but if you strike and miss I’ll gut you. Got it?”

“Noted.”

We grabbed our instruments and our money, but otherwise, we left everything behind. We walked through the streets of the underbelly of Antiva City. It’d been my home since he’d taken me in, and I can’t say I was sorry to see the back of it.

After three hours of walking, we found ourselves at the door of a young woman who lived on the edge of the city, close to the Swamplands . She seemed to know Lucio. She took one look at me and stepped to the side, letting us in.

“What happened to her face?” The woman asked.

“Lit our kitchen on fire, had to teach her a lesson.”

The woman shrugged and waved us through her home. There were books covering almost every inch of the floor. She had us sit on two uncomfortable pillows. She came back with a tray of tea for us. I didn’t drink it.

“So, this little rabbit is a mage?” She asked Lucio.        

“That would be correct. I want you to teach her your brand of magic.”

The woman gasped and placed a hand on her chest, not quite able to conceal her smirk. “But my darling Lucio, such magic has  been forbidden by  the Chantry.”

I stood up and backed away from them. “I’m not doing blood-magic!” I said, shaking my head.

“Sit down, girl!” The woman snarled. She gestured  vaguely  with her hand and I flew back into my seat. “I will teach you hedge magic and other schools of magic some consider dark.” She looked me up and down, a smile settling onto her pretty lips. “Assuming you live, you will be the most powerful witch of your generation.”

“And I’ll use that magic to kill people,” I said in disgust.

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes. She turned to Lucio who shrugged his shoulder, pouring something from a flask into his tea. The woman looked at me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “You will be the most feared assassin in all of  Thedas one day, little one. Men will tremble at the very mention of your name. Don’t you want that?”

 “No,” I said, looking over to my trainer. “He says I’m going to be a Bard...but...killing people is bad.”

She laughed  softly . “Yes, I suppose it is, but it’s very profitable. There is a demand and you will provide the supply.”

“I don’t get a choice, do I?” I asked.

“No, dear, you don’t.” She pat me gently on the head.

* * *

  **9:25**

I walk  silently  behind Lucio, my head bowed as we move quickly through the streets. Today is the day for another one of his ‘lessons.’ We stand in an open field, the muddy ground making it harder for us to walk. I look up at my trainer, but he doesn’t notice, a smile gracing his face. He was kind of handsome when he wasn’t being a huge dick.

“How has your training with Camila been progressing?” He asked me casually, sitting down on a rock.

“Fine,” I said. I looked up at the night sky. “She’s been teaching me energy manipulation.”

“Fantastic, that’ll make tonight much easier.” He stood up and roughly pushed me to where three figures were coming towards us. One of them was a woman, bound, gagged, and struggling.

There was a pit in my stomach and I looked up at Lucio who was grinning viciously. “Tonight, you take your first blood, knife-ear.”

“What?” I whispered in horror.

“You will use your magic and kill this woman.”

"But-" 

I should have expected the slap in the face. He stood me up straight and pointed at the captive woman who was being held to her knees by the two other newcomers. “This woman is the wife of Merchant Prince Santiago Mateo Azar of the Willet District. You know the one, right? The place where they sell those rolls you love so much.”

“Why do I have to kill her?” I asked, my voice cracking.

Lucio smiled and pushed me closer to the woman. “Hello Allura, you whore. Good to see you again.” The woman was shouting something behind her gag. “What? Sorry, couldn’t hear you.  However, I thought I’d introduce you to this cute knife-ear I’ve been raising.”

He was grabbing me so roughly by the wrist I thought it would break. He laughed  madly , at the woman’s disbelief. “Yes, you know who she is, don’t you?! The proof of how your husband betrayed you!” He spat.

Lucio opened my hand and put a shining silver dagger in my palm. “Kill her, brat, or I’ll cut you down where you stand.”

I looked down at the knife that looked too big for my small hands. It was a pretty thing and could have bought us food for months.  There was a blue sapphire on the hilt and the edges  were plated  with something more solid than silver, showing how  dangerously  sharp it was . I gazed at the woman and looked up at Lucio. “I thought you wanted me to use my magic?”

“Yes, Camila gave that to me, she said to fuse your magic with it. Watch what happens.”

I ran my fingers along the gem and channelled my power into it, watching in amazement as it glowed. I wouldn’t even need to touch her to kill her. I looked her in the eyes, and I saw the horror behind them when she realized I was serious. “I’m sorry, I’m new at this, I don’t know how to make it painless.”

I pulled at the thread of her energy that bound all our spirits to this world. I pulled at it, using all the training I’d had up to that point. I blocked out the woman’s pained screams, trying to remember what Camilla had told me.

“All you really need to do is pull, little one, bend and shape their energy to what you will them to do. Focus in on yourself, feel your own spirit, and use your will to overpower your opponent.”

When I found the thread I was looking for, I pulled it harder, stretching it thin. I raised the dagger and severed her tie to this world. She fell over dead, the last of her tears, pooling from her eyes. I looked down at the woman, feeling something in me die with her. But I couldn’t quite place what it was. 

Lucio was laughing madly, thumping me on the back, almost dancing with joy. I looked at the two strangers, who were watching silently. They were Crows. I should have noticed sooner. I looked up at them blankly. “Why are you here?”

“Your master paid us a significant amount to make sure you were the one who killed her ladyship,” one of them said. I could hear the grin in his voice. “If you ever find being a Bard isn’t to your tastes, the Crows welcome you with open arms.”

“ _Hard pass_ ,” I sneered, holding up my hand.

“Her loyalties lay with me,” Lucio said, putting his hands on my shoulders, something like pride in his voice. He looked down at me. “You’ve done very well tonight.”

“Great, now I want to go home. I want to go to bed,” I shrugged his hands off of me and walked back the way we came. I heard him say something to the Crows, before running to catch up with me. “What did you mean, by the way?” I asked him when we fell into step with one another.

He looked at me  questioningly . I sighed and rolled my eyes. “You said that I was the proof her husband had betrayed her. What did you mean by that?”

“Oh! Her husband is your father,” Lucio said  simply .

I stopped dead and looked at him in shock.  As my time in the world continued, it was sometimes hard to forget that I was inhabiting the body of someone who had once been a person . I’d all but forgotten that she must have had parents. But her parents were my parents, weren’t they?

“What did you  just  say?” I asked, my voice weak.

“You’re his bastard,” Lucio said with a grin. He reached out and grabbed one of my pointed ears. “If you’ll notice these, for a moment.” He let go and put his hands on his hips. “ Normally when an elf-blooded child is born from a human parent, they resemble a human. That isn’t the case with you, though, is it?” He asked.

I shook my head, touching the tips gently. “So then I can’t be his bastard. Prince Azar is human.” I told him.

“Yes, that’s what he wants everyone to believe, but not fully. His mother was a knife-ear, just like you. A secret that  was hidden  from the world when she died during childbirth. So Azar  was legitimized  and made his father’s heir.   

“Then the man grew up, hiding who he was. He met a pretty Dalish woman and brought her to his bed. Trouble was, the woman came back three years later with a child she was claiming was his. Now, can you imagine how this looked?  It’s not so uncommon for Prince’s to sire half-blooded rats but this little girl had pointed ears, large eyes, and a slender frame  . As if she were  entirely  an elf. The only way that would be possible was if he had one knife-ear parent.     

“The man knew you were his. But he had a choice to make. Admit to the fact that he wasn’t  totally  human. Or he could ‘take care’ of the problem. He had the entire clan of Dalish elves slaughtered. Down to the last man.”

His eyes were glinting with cruel amusement. “I remember thinking to myself, was it Divine providence that you were the only survivor?”

I had to lean against a tree for support. I closed my eyes and punched the tree as hard as my little fists could manage. I rounded on him, sending him stumbling back with a burst of magic. “Why do you care?!” I demanded.

The grin didn’t disappear from his face. “How about I promise you that I’ll tell you later. But before I tell you… you have to kill Prince Azar.”

“What?!” I snapped at him.

“Not yet… it isn’t time yet. I’ll let you know when it’s time.”

“Why are you doing this? What’s the point?! I know you, you’d never do something like this unless you were benefiting from it!”

“As I told you three years ago. You will be the greatest Bard that this country has ever seen." 


	3. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I start my first day of college today, so I'll be able to update like...twice a week, I think. 
> 
> There's probably like a thousand mistakes in this chapter, so if you see any point them out to me.

**9:29**

Camila was braiding my hair, her hands working quickly, humming a song quietly. I joined her, adding harmony. She laughed softly and brushed a strand behind my ear. “Come, Lucio has work for you to do today,” she said, standing up and holding out her hand to me. She pulled me to my feet and we walked back to her house.

Lucio was waiting, his third bottle for that day already half-drained. He looked at me and smirked. “How old are you now, brat?” He slurred.

“Ten,” I answered stiffly.

He nodded and held my lute out to me. “Guess who’s making her official debut this week, little shit?”

“I’m going to guess it’s me.” I grabbed the instrument from his hands, not wanting to imagine the state my precious instrument would be in if he dropped it. “ _Great_ , this should be fun.”

“You’ve got a target too, you’ll be making some real coin, knife-ear.”

I… hadn’t thought of that in a while. Even after I killed lady whats-her-name, I hadn’t gotten a single coin. Nor for anyone else I’d killed in the years since. I guess it would make sense for me to start making my own money now that I was making the ‘official’ debut onto the Bard scene. Now Lucio _really_ couldn’t justify taking my coins, even if he wanted too, which I’m sure he did. There was a certain amount of respect that a Bard commanded, and it seemed that even _he_ couldn’t cross that line.

I’d have to start preparing songs, and I’d need something nice to wear. Camila would have to do my hair and makeup. I needed to look like a million sovereigns if I wanted to be hired ever again. “Alright, I’ll get working, then,” I told him, with a nod of my head.

I walked into the room that Camila had given me. There was a small bed in the corner and a desk next to it. There was a small space for a trunk, where I kept all my belongings, but the rest of the room was covered in books. She’d given them all to me, as well as any book I asked for. They were on history, maths, magic, really anything I could think of she had them.

When I wasn’t learning magic, music, or fighting then I was sitting alone in my room reading. There just seemed to be no end of things that I could learn from this world. It set my heart all aflutter. I picked up one of the history books on the ancient Elvhen from my bed and laid it down on my desk.

I wondered how much of it was actually true. It seemed to be written without prejudices in one way or the other, but Arlathan had existed thousands of years ago. I very much doubted that everything was accurate. But it was still a book of very interesting _theories_. 

I sat down, shoving the furs and pillows off of my bed, crossing my legs. My fingers moved rapidly over the lute’s strings, as I hummed. I had started writing my own songs years ago, but I still remembered the old songs from the old world. They brought me peace, and honestly, a leg up on the competition.

I started playing the rapid song that I’d been waiting to bust out. The ultimate combination of meme and skill. I’d dreamed of singing this song since I was five years old and remembered it. I had thought over maybe calling myself Alexa so I could play that good ol’ Despacito.

Antiva was a country where the chief language was basically Spanish, called Antivan, which was also my grandmother’s native tongue, so the Spanish songs that I’d learned in my previous life would serve me well in this one. But the thought of Antivan nobility dancing to Despacito was the funniest thing I had ever imagined in either of my lives.

I set my lute to the side and stretched out my fingers, cracking each one carefully. There was a pounding on my door. Lucio yelled at me to ‘keep playing’ so I grabbed my instrument and started working on one of my original songs. It was fast-paced, something someone could easily be danced to. I imagined the Inquisitor dancing with the Dutchess when I wrote it. I’d called it Joker. Then I practiced the Game of Thrones theme song.

I knew that I’d have to submit my set to whoever was planning this party sooner rather than later. I grabbed my journal and opened it to the first free page.

 _Despacito_ _  
_ _The Bear and The Maiden Fair_ _  
_ _My Jolly Sailor Bold_   
Joker

_Ten-minute break_

_For the Dancing and The Dreaming_ _  
_ _Andraste’s Mabari_ _  
_ _Till The Crows Come Home_   
Hands of Gold

_Ten Minute break_

_You Win or You Die_ _  
_ _Puff The Magic Dragon_ _  
_ _Greensleeves_   
Open to Requests Until the end    

I looked at it and nodded. There were enough fast songs for the drunker guests to get down to. Then there were enough slow songs for the higher class guests to look rich and stupid dancing to.

I put the lute back down and reached into my trunk, pulling out the fiddle I’d gotten two years previously. I tuned it quickly, running over my scales. Lucio had thought that I’d need to learn more than a few instruments, and I figured that this party was the best place to show him all I’d learned. Greensleeves was a bop on the fiddle, in my humble opinion.

There was the question of how I would kill my target, the obvious answer was during my breaks. But ten minutes really wasn’t good prep time. There was also the added bonus that no one knew which of the bards at the party would be out for that targets blood. Unless they all were. The damn nobles and their games. Because there were _always_ other bards at events. Normally about three or four of them. So long as I got to my target first, I didn’t care how many other people were there.

Camila came into my room to tell me that dinner was ready, so I put all my instruments away and walked into the dining area, moving a stack of books, so I could find a chair.

“You sounded great, kid,” Lucio said, taking a bite of the chicken leg that Camila dropped in front of him. “You’re going to blow them away.”

“Who’s my target?” I asked him, pushing the peppers around on my plate. I stuck one in my mouth when I caught Camila’s eyes.

“You’re to kill the host’s oldest son, Markus,” Lucio said, taking a sip of wine. “It seems his father is getting sick of his son’s overspending habits.”

“He told you that?” I asked.

“He didn’t have too, I could read it all over his greedy face, you’ll learn how to do it too when you’ve gotten more experience.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” I said, putting my focus on my food completely.

* * *

“Oh! You’re so pretty!” Camila squealed, squishing my face between her hands. She kissed my forehead and turned me around so I could see myself in the mirror. She’d painted my eyelids gold and my lips a dark maroon. My black hair was tied up into two pigtails and held together with two red bows. My dress was gold and red, going down to my knees with black tights underneath. My shoes were golden flats. I looked like a perfect little Bard.

There was a carriage that was waiting to take me to the Merchant’s giant home. The person driving kept his face hidden under his cloak. ' _Not suspicious at all,’_ I thought, giving him a flat look. I climbed inside, taking my instruments and sheet music. I was going alone. I looked back at Lucio, who was grinning. “Do me proud, knife-ear.”

“You’ve gotta stop calling me that,” I said with a sigh before slamming the door closed. I heard horses before there was a lurch and we were moving forward. I practised my songs during the ride, trying to make sure that everything was _perfect_. The drive was only about an hour and a half, but it was nice to have even that much time to myself. A servant opened the door and they took my equipment for me. I was led into the Merchant’s office.

There were two other Bards already waiting. They were both male and much older than me. I gave them a cheerful smile. They returned it, with sharp edges to their eyes. The lord entered the room and locked the door behind him.

“Drop the crap,” he said, noticing out stare downs. He sat behind his desk and pulled out three large bags of money. They each had a name of a Bard on it. I cringed a bit when mine just said ‘Knife-ear.’

“I hired each of you from a different job. None of you will get paid unless you all do your jobs. None of that posturing and playing I know you bastards are so fond of, understand?”

“Yes, m’lord,” the tallest of the boys said with a smile. “We will all complete our jobs as instructed.”

“Now that’s what I like to hear,” the man smiled. “Don’t forget you’re also to entertain the guests, that just as important. You may keep any tips you make.” He got up from his desk and turned to me. “You’re up first. I want your target dead by the end of your first break.”

 _‘Shit!’_ I cursed silently, clenching my teeth together. “Yes sir, it will be done.”

The man laughed and opened the door for us. “Now, get going.”

The three of us left and went down to the main hall, where guests were starting to arrive. I looked up at the older boys who were speaking to each other in Orlaisian. They saw me looking and smirked.

“What?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

“The first job is always the most perilous, little sister.” The Elvhen boy said, adjusting my pigtails so they were straight. “Don’t die, hm?”

“Right, thanks,” I said, touching my hair. I gave them a final nod before I walked through the crowd. They turned to look at me. I could feel the excitement as I grabbed my lute. Camila had been teaching me spells to make my music more hypnotic and spells to make my voice and instrument louder.  

I smiled and closed my eyes, strumming the first chords of my debut song.    

_Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote_

_Tengo que bailar contigo hoy_

_Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome_

_Muéstrame el camino que yo voy_

 

_Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal_

_Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan_

_Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso_

 

_Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal_

_Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más_

_Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro_

 

_Despacito_

_Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito_

_Deja que te diga cosas al oído_

_Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo_

 

As the song continued I watched the nobles dance happily swaying along with the music. It seemed like most of the couples were dancing the Salsa, which I thought was _amazing._ The other two bards seemed to have figured out the rhythm and were playing along. The Elvhen boy was adding the drums, while the human was keeping time with maracas. I wondered how many instruments they’d brought with them.

I grinned at them over my shoulder, and they returned my smiles with their own. Trained killers we may be, but we would always share a love for music. I started up the next song.

 

“ _A bear there was, a bear, a bear!_

_all black and brown, and covered with hair._

_The bear! The bear!_

_Oh, come they said, oh come to the fair!_

_The fair? Said he, but I'm a bear!_

_All black and brown, and covered with hair!_

_And down the road from here to there._

_From here! To there!_

_Three boys, a goat and a dancing bear!_

_They danced and spun, all the way to the fair!_

_The fair! The fair!_

_Oh, sweet she was, and pure and fair!_

_The maid with honey in her hair!_

_Her hair! Her hair!_

_The maid with honey in her hair!_

_The bear smelled the scent on the summer air._

_The bear! The bear!_

_All black and brown and covered with hair!_

_He smelled the scent on the summer air!_

_He sniffed and roared and smelled it there!_

_Honey on the summer air!_

_Oh, I'm a maid, and I'm pure and fair!_

_I'll never dance with a hairy bear!_

_A bear! A bear!_

_I'll never dance with a hairy bear!_

_The bear, the bear!_

_Lifted her high into the air!_

_The bear! The bear!_

_I called for a knight, but you're a bear!_

_A bear, a bear!_

_All black and brown and covered with hair_

_She kicked and wailed, the maid so fair,_

_But he licked the honey from her hair._

_Her hair! Her hair!_

_He licked the honey from her hair!_

_Then she sighed and squealed and kicked the air!_

_My bear! She sang. My bear so fair!_

_And off they went, from here to there,_

_The bear, the bear, and the maiden fair.”_

 

This time the human danced around, clapping his hands, and the Elvhen boy played the flute along with the song. I wondered what a sight we made, dancing and singing like idiots. But it seemed the nobles were loving it. Which was what really mattered. They were throwing copper coins at us, and I let the other two bards divide them up.

I caught sight of my target dancing around with a beautiful woman. I wondered how I’d get him alone. Maybe I could use her. For the next song, I put my lute away and sat on the chair that was provided for me.

 

_“Upon one summer's morning_

_I carefully did stray_

_Down by the Walls of Wapping_

_Where I met a sailor guy._

_Conversing with a young lass_

_Who seemed to be in pain,_

_Saying, William, when you go_

_I fear you'll ne'er return again._

_My heart is pierced by Cupid_

_I disdain all glittering gold_

_There is nothing can console me_

_But my jolly sailor bold.”_

 

This song was longer, more mournful. The other two Bards seemed to sense that mood and left me alone to perform that one. They gathered up the tips, slipping a bag of the copper coins into my supply case. I had one last song before I had to go off and kill that rich guy.

At long last, my time had come. The Elvhen boy took his chance to play a few songs while I was off. I moved towards the refreshments table on got a cup of water. A few people came over to congratulate me on a job well done. I thanked them with a deep bow and a sweet smile every single time.

I saw my target move with his lady friend away from the party. I thanked the gods. I knew who she was. Well, I knew _of_ her. She was one of the premiere prostitutes of Antiva City. How she got an invite to a party so prestigious was anyone’s guess, really. I followed behind them with silent steps, sticking to the shadows. I wouldn’t have to follow them far. I’d gotten much better at my magic since the first time.

It took me only seconds to find the binding string but I stopped. I could end it there, within thirty seconds of the hunt… but…what was a few more minutes? I followed behind them until she pushed him against the wall, kissing him deeply. Could I kill him without killing her? No, probably not.

I saw that they both had their eyes closed, and the target was reaching for the door handle. I ran under his arm and into the pitch black room. I had just under eight minutes. I reached into my inside breast pocket and pulled out a packet that Camila had shown me how to make. Powered Hemlock. Concentrated and amplified with magic. There was a pitcher of wine on the bedside table, so I poured it in before I silently slipped out the door that was still open just as the woman slammed it closed.

My heart was beating rapidly. I walked calmly back to the refreshments table, taking another glass of water from a servant. I thanked her and leaned against a pillar and tried to calm down. I really did it. Not with magic this time. I’d killed that man with my two hands, _sort o_ f. They hadn’t even seen me. The two adults had been so caught up in each other that I had slipped by them without notice. Was that how a wolf felt right before it attacked its prey?

I watched the Elvhen boy play a beautiful song. I could hear in the way he sang that he really did have years on me. I was speechless. I wanted to be that good one day. He enchanted the entire room with his voice, and he wasn’t even using actual magic. Was that how Bards in Olais were trained?

“You almost stole my kill, naughty little thing.” A voice to my left whispered in my ear. I jumped and turned around. I came face to face with a young man who looked to be in his mid-twenties. He was a Crow, gods they were just _everywhere._

It was startling to realize that I knew who he was. His blond hair, dark skin, the tattoos on the side of his face. He was handsome, to be sure. It’d been so long since I thought about him, I had almost forgotten he existed.

I relaxed my posture and turned away from him, looking casually into the crowd. “I’m not sure what you mean, Mister Crow.”

“The woman, Amelia, she was my target and your poison almost killed her before I could.” I felt his knife pressed against my back, not hard enough to hurt me. “You’re very lucky that I managed to slip in, to finish the job myself. You _must_ learn to be a little more careful.”

“Well… I’m sorry if I caused you any trouble,” I said with a shrug. I felt a smirk cover my face without my permission. “Maybe you should have been faster.”

He chuckled and dug his knife deeper into my back, but still wasn’t doing any damage. “You’re a mouthy little shit, aren’t you?”

My heart was beating so fast against my rib cage, he _must_ have been able to hear it. I sipped from my glass and put it down on the table, crossing my arms over my chest. “Did my poison work then?” I asked him.

“Oh yes, it was most effective,” he said. “Very cruel. I found the man choking on his own blood.”

“What about your target?”

“I smacked the glass out of her hand before she could drink it. Then I threw her out of the four-story window.”

“So what’s the issue?”

He sighed and the knife was withdrawn. “The problem is that whoever trains you obviously never taught you the manors we assassins expect from one another.”

“Well, how was _I_ supposed to know she was your target.”

“Whoever gave you your mission should have told you,” he explained. “Is your trainer truly so irresponsible?”

“Yeah, that sums Lucio up pretty well, actually,” I said with a shrug. “I’m on in like two minutes. Can I go yet?”

He let go on my shoulder and I turned around, seeing him dart behind dark pillars and out a window. He was just as handsome as I had thought he’d be. I wanted to see him again but understood how unrealistic that would be. How weird would it be if I just walked my ass down to the Crows Nest and asked to see Zevran?

Seeing him also brought a host of other realizations and memories. For one, the fifth blight would start next year. Good thing I was in Antiva or I would be _so_ fucked. So long as I stayed in the north, I’d be mostly safe. Safe from the zombies.

I played the rest of the night and mingled with the guests who were so curious about me and my music. When it was over, I took the money from the lord, a sigh of relief leaving my lips.

“You’re very talented, little sister,” the human bard said, resting his hand on my head. “What’s your name?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Oh dear, it bites,” the Elvhen boy said. He held out his hand to me. “My name is Salladin, and this is our brother, Adam.”

“We aren’t related…” I looked up at him curiously.

The two boys shared a look. “Who is your teacher? He should have told you this already.” Adam said, removing his hand.

I blushed and looked down at my shoes. “He’s called Lucio.”

I heard the two boys sigh and saw they were rolling their eyes, faces scrunched up in disgust. “Yes, we know _him,”_ Salladin said like he’d smelled something nasty. “You poor thing, come, let your big brother teach you what being a Bard really means.” He took me by the hand and led me out of the building.

I tried to go to my own carriage but he pulled me away, towards another. “No, no, no. You’ll come with me and Adam tonight. We will return you to _Lucio_ in the morning.”

“ _Why?!”_ I tried pulling away from him, stomping my feet in the ground. “Let go or I’ll scream!”

He let go of me and I fell back onto the cobblestone. “You’re _already_ screaming,” Salladin said.

“That was a little creepy, honestly,” Adam said, helping me up. “Come, dear, we just wanted to teach you a few things. We aren’t going to hurt you.” His voice was so soothing.

“Why?” I asked, pulling my hand quickly away from him.

“We know Lucio, every Bard in Thedas knows about _him,_ he’s an embarrassment to us all!” Salladin said. “We will not allow him to spread his _habits_ to the next generation! We will teach you the proper ways to behave yourself.”     

“All of that in a night?” I asked.

“We have _books_ on the subject, little sister. Just come along,” Adam led me to their carriage and opened the door, helping me inside. Then the horses took off down the path.


	4. Part I

**9:29**

They were staying in the most opulent inn that our city had to offer. Nothing but the best for Bards from Orlais, after all. They each had their own room, but the three of us sat on Adam’s bed. The young man leaned back and strummed quietly on his own lute. He hadn’t brought it with him to the party.

Salladin offered me a drink, which I did not accept. He grinned and set the tray down. He reached into his bag and handed me a thin book. “The Bard Handbook.”

“A bit… on the nose, don’t you think?” I asked, turning it over in my hands.

“Not everything has to be complicated, little sister.”

“What does that mean? Why do you keep calling me that?” I asked.

Salladin put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “While we all might be rivals, we all exist as one very respected entity. While I _would_ kill you without hesitation if we were after the same target, I would much rather have a relationship with you that was friendlier. So we Bards are taught that our fellows are all our brothers and sisters.”

I laughed slightly, trying to imagine Lucio being ‘friendly’ or ‘brotherly’ towards anyone. “I’m sorry… so… what else is there?”

“How old are you?” Adam asked, breaking slightly from his melody.

“I’m ten,” I answered.

I heard Salladin grunt in disgust. “That's considered a taboo. You aren’t supposed to make your debut until you’re at least fifteen years old. In some countries, it’s _bad form_ to have a Bard as young as you are playing in your halls. So I wouldn’t expect any invites to Rivain anytime soon.”

“Well that’s fine, I wasn’t planning on it.” I shrugged.

“We also saw that Crow almost gut you in the back of the room,” Salladin said. “Why was that?”

“Apparently, I almost killed his target. He said that typically, someone tells you if someone is marked, so you don’t accidentally kill them. Lucio didn’t tell me any of that.”  

“ _Typical,”_ Adam rolled his eyes. “Well, now that you’ve debuted, people will come to you directly to inform you if there are any other assassins.”

“That’s good, I hope I didn’t ruin my reputation?”

“No, no, it’s very doubtful. You’re young, and you _didn’t_ kill the Crow’s mark, or he would have slit your throat right there in the hall.”

I grabbed my throat and rubbed my neck with my thumb. I pressed my lips together and exhaled from my nose. “Well, thank goodness he was so fast then,” I said, blinking rapidly.

“So, how old are you two?” I asked them.

“I am seventeen,” Adam said.

“I’m nineteen,” Salladin said. “How long has Lucio been training you?”

“Since I was three. He dragged me half-dead from my Dalish camp.” I rolled my eyes. “Not for any _noble_ reason, mind you.”

“What was his reason?”

“I have no idea, he wouldn’t tell me,” I shook my head. “Every time I think about it, my hair starts going grey.”

“That’s dangerous, little sister, you need to find out why he’s doing this.”

“You don’t need to tell _me_ that, trust me, I already know what he’s capable of,” I touched my leg, where a huge bruise was hidden by my tights.

The two of them shared and alarmed looked before turning back to me. Adam came closer and sat next to me, opening and closing his mouth a few times. He cleared his throat and touched my arm. “Does he hurt you, little sister?” He asked.

I snorted. “Not in the way _your_ thinking, but he does beat the shit out of me whenever he can.”

“I’m sorry,” Salladin said solemnly.

“Not a big deal, I bet your trainers hit you too.”  

“ _Yes,_ while we trained. But neither of us were ever _beaten,”_ Adam swallowed and bit his lower lip. He stood up from his bed and found parchment and some charcoal. He wrote quickly and handed it to me. “If you ever feel your life is in danger, you can contact me here. I’ll do what I can.”

“I don’t even know you, why would you help me?”

“We’re not _all_ heartless,” Adam rolled his eyes before smirking. “Besides that, he’s not the only one who sees potential in you. If he won’t see you reach that potential in full, rest assured that I would.”

“Well...thanks…”

* * *

 _As a Bard, you will notice that doors will open for you, as they never had before. It matters not your race, your creed, or your family name,_ you _are a valued member of society no matter where you go or what you believe. You must become a master of the game, and learn to play it as flawlessly as you play your instrument._

_One must always remember that a Bard is only as good as their word. Any contract that is accepted must be fulfilled, no matter what must be done to complete it, even at the cost of your own life. Because without your word you are nothing._

I had finished the book, and re-read it several times over the weeks that Adam and Salladin had given it to me. I wanted to _stab_ Lucio for not telling me even the most basic parts about being a Bard. I could count at least four social rules that I’d broken at the party, not even counting almost taking another organization's kill, which was considered  _carrer ending._

I closed the book and sat back in my chair, trying to collect my thoughts. Was Lucio _trying_ to ruin me before I’d even really started, or was he just incompetent? Or _both?_ I put the book in my bag and stood up from my chair, pushing it back in. I walked into the main room of the home finding neither of my mentors.

They were off getting smashed at the bar, probably. That wasn’t really Camila’s style, but she did indulge from time to time. All things considered, it was nice to be alone for a while. I went outside, grabbing a bucket of oats that was left on the front porch. I didn’t think either of them would have remembered to feed the chickens.  

They screeched at me when they saw me approaching with their food. They all rushed at me and started pecking at my leather wrapped feet. I gently nudged them away with a huff, throwing the oats away from me. They mindlessly ran after them, almost attacking each other to get at them. “Greedy shits,” I said, leaving the area, closing the coop’s door on my way out. We also had a goat I named Billy that was tied up in the back. He was much more subdued when I fed him, even letting me pet him behind the ears.

There was litter all over the front yard, so I grabbed a rake and started to move it into a giant pile. From rotting books to broken whiskey bottles. The house was lopsided, with shingles hanging off the roof. The windows were filthy, caked with years of dust, hardly any sunlight ever got through. Ivy grew along the walls, almost cracking the wood of the house. It was breezy, cold, and leaking. But it was still _kind of_ a home.

When Lucio returned, he had a huge grin on his face. He grabbed me by the arm and roughly pulled me back inside of the house, locking the door behind him. “It’s time, knife-ear,” he said.

“Time for what?” I asked.

“It’s time for you to finally avenge your mother. Time to kill your father,” he said, already looking for the pack he’d give me when I was committing assassinations.

“Why?” I asked him, sitting down at the table. “Where’s Camila?”

He stopped moving, and I saw his jaw twitch in anger. I waited for him to lash out, and he did not disappoint. He grabbed one of Camila’s books and smacked me across the face with it. “How many times do I have to tell you not to question me you little _shit?!”_ He snarled, dropping the book. He punched me in the stomach twice, throwing me down on the floor. “You need to show me far more loyalty than you do! I give you food, a roof over your head, top-notch training. I’m letting you murder the man who slaughtered your entire clan, and you dare to ask me _why?!”_

I stayed on the ground, without saying anything. He continued to scream at me, but I kept zoning in and out. He grabbed me by the hair and lifted me to my feet. He thrust the pack into my arms. “Not get your ass out there and kill that fucker!” He snarled.

He gave me no further instructions, other than where the Merchant Prince was living. I walked the ten miles up to his home while the sun was setting. It took me three hours. When I stood at the base of the hill he lived on, I saw that there were guards everywhere. _Naturally._ I found an opening towards the back of the opulent home. The only problem was that it was facing a large cliff that ended in the ocean. One wrong move and it was over.

I sighed and followed the path anyways. I climbed up the rock face, trying to ignore the way my hands and feet were cut as I climbed. When I reached the top, I climbed over a railing and found myself in an outdoor sitting area. Perfect for guests.

With the money I could get from killing this dude, I could probably buy his house. Then I could hire all his guards to have Lucio thrown into the ocean. Or hire a Crow to do it, since they were under every rock you turned over in the damned city. Like fucking cockroaches. 

The door in the back was unlocked. I stepped into the home, just as the sun disappeared over the horizon and our two beautiful moons announced themselves. I closed the door behind me silently and did a quick scan of the area. There were two guards who were just passing by, laughing at something one of them said. No one else was in that area.

I sprinted up the stairs as quietly as I could, moving so I became the shadows. I stopped to listen every few seconds, but I rarely came across any guards. When I got to the third floor I found two guards standing in front of one door.

It was just my luck that they weren’t paying close attention to anything other than what was right in front of them. If they had been looking around them, they would have felt me trying to dig through their energy. I found their strings, cutting them quickly, only watching them fall for a moment before I ran to the door. I turned the knob, but it was locked. I reached into my pack and pulled out my lock picking kit. It was such a simple lock. It clicked open, and I pushed the door open. There was some seriously lacking security in that damn mansion.

The lord was sleeping with his mistress. I felt a very small pang when I remembered that I’d killed his wife four years ago. Did he miss her? Did they have children together? Did it actually matter? 

I walked over to the bed and looked at the sleeping pair. I found the woman’s strings and cut it, just the slightest pang of guilt in my heart. No witnesses. I pulled out my knife and looked over at the Prince. I wanted to hurt him, in ways I’d never wanted to hurt others. He had my people… this girl’s people _slaughtered_ because he couldn’t keep it in his pants, or take responsibility. He would have even killed his own daughter. He would have killed _me._ I put my hand over his mouth and waited until his eyes snapped open before plunging the knife into his jugular. I pulled the knife out, before stabbing him again. And again. And again. Again. Again. Again.

I pulled away from him, panting heavily. I wiped my sweaty face with a bloodstained hand and huffed a few times. There was blood covering most of my front. I wiped some out of my eyes, then rubbed my hand on the bed sheets. I dropped the knife and leaned against the wall. "I did it then..." I said quietly, looking at the bodies on the bed. 

Why did I care about him? He wasn’t my _real_ father. I was from another fucking world! Why did I care about who or what happened to the girl that lived in this body before me? This wasn’t something that had ever happened to me. It didn't have anything to do with me! I didn’t even think about the woman who would have birthed this person. So why was _that man_ different? Were the girl and I more linked than I thought? I wished I could have just asked Camila. But how do you even bring that sort of topic up? _‘Oh hey, sorry I forgot to mention that I’m an alien.’_ If this was really how reincarnation worked I want a fucking refund.

There were heavy metal boots that were suddenly running towards me. I tried to reach for my magic, but someone grabbed my arm and lightning shot through me. I screamed as pain consumed me entirely. I fell to the ground and I felt several people grabbing me, binding me in chains that cut me off from my magic. They lifted me up and dragged me away, pulling my limp body through the halls like it meant nothing.

I looked up through my blurry vision and saw that someone was standing at the end of the corridor. The person slowly slipped behind a pillar, gazing at me and my attackers silently. Then my head fell backwards and I succumbed to darkness.  

* * *

I wasn’t sure how long it took before I woke again. I was bound in chains that were sapping the magic from my body. I could hardly even move my head. I blinked rapidly and focused on the bars that were keeping me in the cell.

There was someone standing at the door of the cell, humming a familiar tune. “Lucio…?” I asked weakly. He stopped humming and I could see the glint of his teeth in the moonlight. “What’s happening? Where am I?”

“You’re in a lot of trouble, knife-ear,” he said quietly. “You and my nephew conspired to have my brother murdered. Murdering a prince is no small offence.”

“I don’t understand, Lucio, what’s happening?” I asked him, my heartbeat quickening. “You gave me the mission… “

“I suppose it doesn’t matter now, does it?” He shrugged and leaned against a stack of crates. “The Prince you killed tonight is my thieving brother. I was a bastard, but my father was going to legitimize me, make me his heir. Until that elf-blooded brat came along and ruined everything. Then _he_ became the heir, and I was tossed out on my ass. I picked myself up and became a Bard. But I swore that I’d have my revenge. Then your whore mother came along and had you. I finally saw my opportunity. 

“It was such a stroke of luck that you survived. I bought you from the Crows before they had the chance to train you. I spent seven years shaping you into the perfect killing machine. Now you don’t even _flinch_ when you end the life of another. I bent you, shaped you, _broke_ you so you would be loyal only to me. Every day you lived, every year you got older I watched my plans for revenge sprout fruit. And I thought it was perfect that my brother’s bastard knife-ear would die in returning the birthright he stole from me!”  

I looked at him in horror as he continued to grin dangerously at me, smacking the bars. “I swore I’d wipe any trace of his blood from this world. His mother, his wife, his daughter, his son, and finally you.

“My first order as the new Prince is to have you and my brother’s legitimate spawn burn for what you two did.”

“I’ve done nothing wrong… “ I told him, backing up against the wall. “All I’ve ever done was exactly what you told me to.”   

“Oh hush, little one, perhaps if you do not struggle I will have an archer end your life quickly when the pyre is lit.”

“Don’t do this Lucio, please!”

He hummed quietly and turned away. “You are not the first to beg me for their life.”

“Camilia will never let you get away with this! She’ll kill you, she’ll save me!”

“I’m sure she would have if she still drew breath. I left her hanging outside the tavern. The noble bastard son of the previous Merchant Prince slays the vile hedge witch in the name of the Chantry and catches his brother’s murderers. They’ll be singing a hero's songs for me, hundreds of years to come.”

I spit at him, though it didn’t go far. “You’ll be remembered for nothing, Lucio, mark my words. You will _pay_ for this!”

He said nothing as he left the dungeon, slamming the door behind him. I curled up into a ball, feeling tears come to my eyes. This was so unfair. Was I really born again, just to die in such a horrific way? I rubbed my cheeks with my small hands, trying to stop the tears that fell so quickly.

I lifted my head and let out a scream, releasing all my rage and pain that had been squished down inside of me. All the sacrifices that I’d made for him, all the pain that I’d endured at his hands. It all dropped upon me so suddenly that I felt crippled. I clawed against the ground, almost chipping my nails off. “I don’t want to die,” I whispered to the still air.


	5. Part I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so serious warning for this chapter. Self-half ala Gerald's Game. Also graphic depictions of torture later in the chapter.

**9:29**

I was woken when freezing cold water was dumped over me. I bolted upright and tried to lash out with my magic, but the cuff around my wrists just made my hands sizzle with heat. Redirecting my own magic at me, I gasped in pain at the burning sensation that traveled up my arms.

There were two guards who were standing by the door of my cell, laughing at me. “Get up, Birdie,” one of the men said, stepping into my cage and grabbing me roughly by my elbow. “Time to make roasted Crow.”  

“No! Let me go!” I yelled at him, trying to struggle away. But he was a grown man in metal armour and I was a small child. They kept laughing at me, pulling me roughly up the stairs and through the large home. I saw Lucio at the top of the stairs, casting me a smirk, waving his fingers tauntingly.  

I was roughly shoved into a caged cart. I grabbed onto the bars, beating my head against them.

“It’s no use,” a male voice said behind me. I turned around and saw a young man with bruises all over his face looking at me with dead eyes. “I’ve tried about everything to try getting out of here.”

I guess he was my brother. “Then you haven’t tried hard enough!” I snarled at him. “I’m not dying, not _today!”_

“Sorry kid, but I think we’ve both been outplayed.” He shrugged and looked at the rising sun.

He might have been right. I would never have suspected Lucio to have come up with a plan this detailed. But that didn’t mean I was about to just lay back and wait for the horrible death he had planned for me. There was _always_ a way out. “If I find a way out...will you run with me?” I asked the young man.

“My uncle murdered my entire family. My wife and children included. I no longer have a wish to live.”

“ _I_ could make it quick for you,” I said. “Out like a light, you wouldn’t even feel it coming. You could be with them again.”

“That, I would accept.”

“Great, let me see one of your boots,” I said.

He seemed confused for a moment before he slid one off of his foot, and pushed it over to me. I turned it over on its side, exposing one of the buckles. “This is going to hurt,” I said with a deep breath. I checked around and saw that the guards weren’t paying any attention to us. I grit my teeth and dug the sharp end of the buckle into the side of my wrist, dragging it up until I got to the first knuckle of my thumb. I moved the buckle until I had cut a very deep ‘Y’ shape in my wrist.

“What are you _doing?_ ” The young man asked in a horrified whisper.

“These cuffs aren’t coming off so long as there’s skin on my hands,” I hissed at him. Then I pulled. I watched in fascination and my skin peeled back. The blood was a great lubricant and it hurt worse than anything I’d ever felt in my entire life. I was biting through my lip to keep from screaming. I got to that damn first knuckle when I couldn’t pull any further. It wouldn’t fit all the way through. I stretched my neck before taking another deep breath and dislocated my thumb so I could fold it under my hand. I quickly freed myself and breathed a sigh of relief.

I felt the magic flood back into me. I stood up and the guards all turned to me. “ _Burn!”_ I snarled at them, lifting my free hand. As one, a cry of agonized men chorused together as the fire consumed them. I turned to the man who was apparently my brother. “Do you still want to die?” I asked him. He gave me a small smile and a nod. I grabbed his thread and cut it, watching the life leave his eyes.

I aimed my hand at the door to the cage and blasted it open, stepping out. I saw Lucio was standing on a balcony, watching me. _“YOU SHOULD HAVE KILLED ME WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!”_ I screamed, before giving him the finger.

I turned away from him and ran as fast as I could towards the city. I was going to _live._ But he wasn’t.     

* * *

If you enjoy long walks on the beach, beautiful women offering themselves to you at every street corner, and assassins strutting about like they own the place (because they do) then come to Antiva City. It will _not_ disappoint.

I’d managed to get to Camila’s home to grab a few things before I made my way into the city. Just my lute, money, my weapons, and a change of clothes. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going, but I trusted where my feet were carrying me. Trusting my instincts normally worked out for me.

As I walked through the city I came upon Camila’s body, still hanging. Bloated. A sign around her neck. “ _Apostate, Heathen. Bloodmage.”_  I looked up at her, into her cloudy eyes, adjusting the bag over my shoulder. “You never helped me,” I said to her quietly. “You watched him beat me black and blue, you smacked me around yourself when I didn’t do what you ordered me to,” I smirked at her. “Rot, bitch.” I passed her and continued on my way.  

I didn’t stop walking until I reached a door to a tavern in the upper parts of town. “Oh, I get it now,” I said to myself, pushing the door open. Just as I expected, the city never slept, and there were people dancing and drinking on every inch of the tavern. I pushed my way through the drunk adults, ignoring the looks they shot me.

One of the Crow’s contacts was sitting at a table in the corner of the tavern with a few other Crows. I pulled my bag of money out of my bag and took a deep breath. I slammed the money down on the table and they all turned to look at me. I must have been a _sight._ My clothes were torn and covered in blood. My wrist was wrapped in bloody bandages, which weren’t done properly. The skin around my thumb was visibly hanging off of my hand. My hair was sticking up in all directions, and parts of it were matted with blood. Maybe I should have actually changed. “I need help,” I said in a monotone voice.

“I’ll say,” one of the Crows muttered.

“How can we help you, little Bard?” The contact asked with a patronizing smile.

“I need someone to grab Lucio for me. I want to kill him, but I don’t think I can get past his guards at the moment.”

“Well, I’ll have to talk to someone about this first, but I’ll let you know if anyone accepts.”

“ _Neat_ , I’ll be waiting right there,” I pointed to an empty spot on the ground. I walked away from the table and sat down against the wall. I pulled out my lute and played, as any self-respecting Bard should. I could feel them looking at me, but eventually, they lost interest and went back to their card game.

* * *

It took them two days. I didn’t eat, drink, or sleep in that entire span of time. People handed me coppers, but I hadn’t used them. The contact walked in with a hooded Crow and caught my eye with a smirk. I nodded and grabbed all the money I’d made. I walked over to the front counter, and the barmaid looked up with wide eyes. I wonder if she thought I’d died when I stopped playing.

“Food and water, please,” I said, handing her the coins. She rushed to do what I asked. When I had what I wanted, I walked over to the table and set my things down. I made sure to eat slowly, so I wouldn’t throw it back up.

“Ah, you look a bit worse for wear, since I last saw you,” a familiar voice said. I looked up and saw those familiar tattoos. “What has it been? Six months?”

“About that, yes,” I nodded and chewed on the carrots in the stew. “We keep running into each other, it must be fate,” I smirked at him. I drank the water slowly. I looked at the contact. “Has your organization agreed to the contract?” I asked.  

He grinned. “You’re in luck, we’re sending one of our most trusted agents after your intended target. Normally I wouldn’t have brought him with me, but your request was rather...vague but the new Prince Lucio is leaving the city tonight, so I thought maybe you should just tell him what you want directly.”

I hummed and looked at him. “You don’t need my life story, do you?”

“Of course not,” Zevran smirked and I smiled back at him. He was pretty damn cute.

“Very well, find Prince Lucio and bring him to the witch's house. You know, the home of the woman he led a mob to hang in the middle of our beautiful city,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “Then I’ll need your help disposing of his body after I’m finished with him.”

Zevran chuckled. “Truly nothing as frightening as a woman scorned, hm?”

“Yeah, I mean I guess,” I said with a shrug. “Do you accept my request?” I asked.

He stood and bowed deeply before leaving the tavern. I looked at the contact. “Is that a yes or a no?” I asked him.

“He has accepted the contract, miss...ah I didn’t catch your name.”

“I don’t have one. The man I’m sending your agent after called me knife-ear, but you understand my hesitance to use that, I’m sure.”

“Yes, perfectly understandable,” he said with slightly raised eyebrows. “Our agent told us about his meeting with you. You killed that man with a very special poison, is it your own mix?”   

“Yes, hemlock and a corrosive agent meant to melt the insides of the body quickly. Also, a chemical that bonds with the lining of the lungs. My teacher helped me come up with the idea. It’s a quick but painful death.”    

I heard the man laugh lowly, his shoulders shaking with mirth.

“Hey, mister, can I ask you a question?”

“You already did, but I will allow another.”

“Lucio told me that he bought me from your organization. Is that true?” I asked, my head tilting to the side.

“Ah yes, the greatest mistake our dear Adrian ever made. He brought you to us with wounds so bad that we were all sure you would die. I remember that night, you were such a tiny little thing, now look at you. A trained killer, a talented Bard, truly you bring pride to our city.”

I snorted and leaned back in my chair. “You aren’t trying to recruit me, are you?”

“We would be poor assassins indeed, if we let an asset like you get away from us, without at least _trying_ to win you over.”

“I mean, I guess so.”

He paused for a moment, his smirk never leaving his mouth. “I might have thought of a name for you, little killer.” He said.

“Oh?”

“Yes, you should call yourself, _Cicuta,”_

I laughed and covered my mouth with my hand. One of the tavern’s customers had taken pity on me and had cleaned and bandaged them properly, so it was no longer an ugly mash of flesh.  Well, it _was_ , but at least it was sown up and wasn't leaking pus. “I love it.” I grinned at him.

Cicuta was _Hemlock_ in the common tongue.

“Well, I should meet your agent at the house. Thank you for your help, mister.” I waved goodbye to him as I made my way out of the tavern.

* * *

I was strange, being back in Camila’s house. I was sorting through her books, seeing if there was anything I wanted to keep. She had a lot of books on magical theory, but nothing that was _groundbreaking._     

I could sell them and fix up the house. I was already throwing things into a ‘get rid of’ pile. There were dozens of empty and half-full bottles of booze. Maybe I’d use them as fuel if I decided that was how I wanted to kill Lucio. There were dead plants everywhere, but those could be used, so I set them into their own pile.

I spent most of the day cleaning out Camila’s house when there was a knock on the door. I rushed to answer it quickly and saw Zevran standing there with Lucio bound, and thrown over his shoulder. I smiled up at him. “Amazing, thank you! Let’s bring him out to the yard, shall we!” I stepped around the assassin and led him into an open field close to the house.

He put Lucio down on the ground, and I smiled down at my old teacher who was looking at me through narrowed eyes. “In the fiction books Camila let me read, this would be the part where the wicked ex-teacher tells me that I don’t have the stomach for murder, but I think we _both_ know that’s not true,” I said, pulling out a wickedly curved knife. I poked the tip of my finger and smiled when I saw the blood rise on my skin. “But honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do to you.”

I looked back at Zevran whose head was turned in the other direction, giving me some privacy. I looked down at Lucio and untied his gag. He spat in my face and I slashed him across the cheek. I looked at the blood and smirked. “In far-off kingdoms, there was an execution method called ‘a thousand cuts’ I’m sure you can imagine what that is.”

“Fuck you, _knife-ear_ bitch.”

“Actually, my name is Cicuta,” I corrected him. I felt like a hand tightened around my stomach, burning me.”You didn’t even bother to name me.”

“What else would have been waiting for you if I hadn’t taken your ungrateful ass in?”

“I was your _pawn_ not your charity case. Don’t try and pull that shit on me.” I waved my finger in his face, like scolding a naughty dog. “So anyway, I’m going to kill you, I’ve been thinking about it all day. I really couldn’t think of anything else.”

“Someone will come looking for me!” He said desperately.

“No, they won’t,” I said with a shrug. “You picked this place for us to live these past years specifically because you can’t hear anyone screaming out this far.” I placed the knife against his jaw, and gave him a shallow cut and licked the blood as it fell. “And I’m _going_ to make you scream,” I whispered in his ear before pressing the knife into his eye. He did scream. Loud enough that I thought my eardrums would split. I pulled the knife out, his eye coming with it.

“A kid should throw up when they see something like this,” I said, pulling the eye off of the knife and putting it in my pocket. Could be useful for a potion. “But you beat the compassion out me. Bet you _really_ regret that, right?”

“Fuck. You,” he hissed at me.

“Geez, you would have cut my finger off if I ever talked to you like that.” I walked behind him and kicked him forward, so his face buried in the dirt. I grabbed his hand. “I guess turnabout is fair play, right?” I asked, before severing off one of the digits. I pushed him onto his back and sat on his chest. “I’m not super inventive, honestly, all I know is that I want to hurt you. I thought about skinning you, but that would take a lot of time, and mister Crow must be a busy man. I didn’t want to take up any more of his time than I have to.”

I heard Zevran let out a small cough to cover his laugh. “No, little miss, I assure you it’s fine.”

“Cool! Thanks, dude!” I said with a bright grin. He looked a little confused, but I ignored him, in favour of the fearful look that Lucio was giving me. “See, the beatings I could take, in a way it made me stronger. But I could never forgive someone who betrayed me in the way you did. That’s something else you taught me. Aren’t you proud, teacher?” I asked him with a giggle. I pushed the knife into his shoulder, far enough that I could feel the bone. I stabbed my knife further, dislocating his shoulder.

“Hey, did you know that you can survive for a surprisingly long time when someone pulls out your innards?” I asked him. “Let’s find out _how_ long.” I turned around and pulled up his shirt, running my fingers over the hard muscle. I looked at Zevran. “Can you really hang someone with their intestines?” I asked.

“Where there is a will, there's a way,” he said, still not quite looking.

“Wow, that’s cool! After he’s dead can you hang him outside the market by his insides? I think that’ll really send the message!”

“As you wish,” Zevran said.

“Sweet!” I looked back at my teacher and hummed quietly. He was still glaring at me. “I know you won’t beg for mercy, but a girl can dream.” I slipped the knife into the flesh of each of his legs, popping his kneecaps off. He was screaming again, banging his head into the ground.

I stood back up and pressed my knife against his neck. “You should thank me, your screams are making my head hurt, so I’m going to kill you now.”

“Always remember, knife-ear, you were the unwanted bastard. No one loved you and no one ever will,” he spat at me, his voice rough.

“You know what? I think I can live with that,” I said evenly, before slipping the knife into his jugular. I watched him bleed to death, a soft smile on his face. I looked at Zevran who was finally looking at me. I couldn’t decipher the expression on his face. “So...that thing about the market, can you do that for me, mister assassin?” I asked him.

“As you wish,” he bowed slightly and walked towards the body.

“Oh! Wait! Come in for a spot of tea! I’ve made you work so hard, it only seems fair.”

He paused and looked at me strangely.    

“It’s not every day a girl meets a man as handsome as you, surely you can’t fault me for wanting to look just a _little bit_ longer?”   

He laughed loudly, wrapping his hands around his waist. It was a nice laugh. “I am afraid I have a prior engagment, little miss."  

“Oh well,” I said with a shrug. “At least let me pay you a bit extra... _oh_ and if you don’t mind, I would love to know your name.”

“You may call me, Zevran, little one.”

I wiped the blood off my right hand and held it out to him. “Nice to meet you, Zevran.” I looked at the dead body. “Also if you have a spare moment, could you give him a sign? Something that says ‘Traitors never win?’”

“As you wish, little miss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? :)


	6. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you feel like this story moves a little too fast? Be honest, should I slow the events down a little more? Do you like the pacing or worshipped?

**9:29**

_I floated through the air as easily as a fish did in the water. I looked around me, the green and grey haze blocking most things from my view other than a large city I could see in the distance. It was black and dripping with malice, a true manifestation of evil. I didn’t want to go there. I turned away from it and tried to swim towards what I assumed was the ground._

_The world around me seemed to sense my wants because I was suddenly falling very quickly to the jagged stone that dotted the floor. But I slowed about a foot away and was stood right-side up. I took a moment to get my bearings before standing straighter and turning rapidly. “Hello?” I called out into the distance. Nothing answered me but the sound of my own echoing voice._

_Looking closer I could see there were figures moving through the haze, bound together with chains. Though they were only shadows, I could still feel the anguish and regret that they carried with them. I moved a little closer, the wisps of fog touching my ankles. "Can anyone hear me?" I asked them as they continued their march._

_One of them stopped, its head lifting when it heard my voice, and the shadow turned towards me, slowly walking in my direction. I felt...apprehensive when I saw its full body emerge from the haze._

_A very beautiful man walked towards me, his silver hair reaching his hips. His eyes were the color of gold, glimmering gorgeously, though there was no sun or light to be seen. He was Elvhen, but much taller than any other I had ever met. He could easily have been over six feet. His dark skin contrasted to his hair, making both stand out all the more. He stopped in front of me and looked down, his eyes hollow, looking right past me and gazing into my soul “Who… are you?” He asked. His voice echoed around us. The pitch changed a few times as spirits that inhabited that place spoke his words back to us. Becoming just another memory in the Fade._

_“It’s polite to introduce yourself first…” I pointed out, taking a step back._

_“Do you not know me, mortal child? Your kind once worshipped me.”_

_I looked up at him in confusion for a second. “What do you mean? The Elvhen?”_

_He nodded._

_“Are you…?” I turned my eyes up at him. I looked closer and I saw the chains binding him. “What are those?!” I took another three quick steps backward._

_He looked down, his slim fingers running over the shackles around his wrists. They were made from silver. “I was trapped here." He growled, clenching his fists. "Fen’harel...he launched his armies against us. He upset the status quo, he and that_ woman.” _He looked back at me with his unsettling eyes. “Now I suffer here for eternity. You are the first living creature I have seen in many_ _millennia_ _. Tell me child, who are you that shares our magic, yet who also possesses the soul of a mortal?”_

 _“I don’t have a name,” I answered. “Um, who are you?_ Your _name, I mean.”_

 _“I was once called Dirthamen, though now, I expect that I am like you. Without a name.” He snapped his eyes to attention and grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me towards him. “I am not a spirit and I will not stay here a moment longer! Give me your body,_ girem'lan!”

_"What the fuck, dude?! Zero to a hundred real fucking quick!" I screamed, trying to pull away from him. “Let go! You can't have it!” I yelled. I held my palm out and pushed against his forehead._

_“You don’t deserve it!" He snarled, getting closer to my face, trying to throw me off balance. "What right does a little mortal servant like you have to possess a body, while I,_ a god, _rot here alone in the Fade! You will_ yield _to your master!”_

_“You are not my master, let go!”_

_“We are_ all _your masters, you filthy little_ Felasil! _You will bow to your gods! Give me your body, so Arlathan may rise again!”_

_“NO!”_

_I held out my palm and I felt a burst of energy pulse through me. He was flung back into the mist and I only watched him for a second before I was running in a random direction. I needed a wall or_ anything _to get away from him. I begged the strange mist to help me, and to my astonishment, it did. A large wall rose as I commanded it to. I saw the man on the other side._

_“Take me somewhere safe!” I shouted to the air. I was lifted from the air, and when I looked behind me, I saw I was being pulled into a forest._

_“_ I've'an'virelan _!” I heard the crazed god scream angrily. There were ghostly hands that were grabbing at him, pulling him back into the mist. He was screaming in anger, struggling violently._

_He was cut off when the forest consumed me. It was beautiful, with trees big enough that it would take several of me to wrap our arms around it. I could hear birds chirping, and the sound of wind blowing over grass. I fell back on my butt, crossing my legs and looking up tiredly at the sky. “I’d love a cup of hot chocolate,” I said, only half expecting it to work. To my astonishment, it did._

_A table materialized out of thin air with a mug of hot cocoa just_ right there. _The table was made from glass. I touched it, and it looked like something the White Witch from Narnia would have made. With curls and glass flowers growing on the legs. I picked up the mug and took a drink from it. The perfect temperature._

 _I sighed in exhaustion and sat down at one of the crystal chairs the Fade had provided for me. "This_ might as well _happen."_

* * *

I woke up in Camila’s bed feeling refreshed, but also fairly confused. It wasn’t as if I’d _never_ had Fade dreams before, they actually used to be much more frequent when I was younger and had just discovered my powers. I'd never had the guts to explore very far, so, for the most part, the Fade was an uneventful place. But after Camila began teaching me the more _gruesome_ schools of magic, entering the Fade became harder and harder. It’d been months since I’d used those magics, so maybe my connection was strengthening?

Or maybe it was just a really weird dream. I  _wished_ it was just a really weird dream. 

I climbed out of the bed and stretched, yawning, cracking my knuckles and toes. I looked out the window and watched as the leaves blew around the front yard. The North of Thedas was a hot and humid place, and their winters weren’t ever very cold. So it wasn’t a huge deal that I left the house with shorts and a short-sleeved shirt. 

I fed the animals around the yard, collecting eggs, and milking the goat. I didn’t bother to rake up any of the leaves in my front yard. The goat would eat it all later anyway. Besides, there was no one left to complain about the mess. I went back inside and did my basic ‘getting ready’ routine.    

I grabbed my lute and my knives before heading out for the day. It’d been four months since I’d killed Lucio, and life was finally starting to become my own strange version of normal again. I had work to do, and I finally had customers. People loved my songs, and that’s all a musician could really hope for. I was never worried about money. An assassination here, a theft there, and I’d assured my place in the high regard of the Antivan nobility.

As the new year came upon us, I thought about the Blight more and more. I couldn’t warn anyone or they’d think I was crazy or possessed. Then when the Blight _did_ happen, I might be blamed for it, for one reason or another. I didn’t like the thought of being considered a threat to the very existence of all life on Thedas. It’d be Tranquility or death for this little Bard. I was _totally_ not interested.

I found my favorite tavern and took up my normal spot towards the back. I gave a nod to the table of Crows on the other side. They were _always_ there. Like they didn't have anything to do outside of their card games and vague shit talking. 

In the past months, I’d worked with the Crows a few times. I suspected they were still hoping that I’d join them. They gave me a few odd jobs, mostly thefts. They expected 70% of everything of everything I earned so doing jobs for them was hardly ever worth it. I did appreciate the skills their jobs taught me, however. Pickpocketing, espionage, camouflage. All things Lucio hadn't bothered to teach me, assuming that I wouldn't outlive him.  

As always there were drunk people who had requests for what they wanted me to perform. This time, there were three Fereldan noblemen who were paying me sovereign after sovereign to play ‘ _Andraste’s Mabari._ ’ By the eleventh playthrough, I cut them off, much to the joy of the other patrons. But they were still happy with any song that I had that even briefly mentioned a dog.  

It was a few hours later that I saw a young woman approaching me, with a hood pulled over her head. “May I buy you a drink?” She asked me, voice shaking.  

I looked her over for a moment, a smile plastered on my face. “I prefer something non-alcoholic.”

She nodded and ran quickly over to the bar. I sat at the table next to me, crossing one leg over the other. I watched her fumble with the coins in her silk purse. Her hands were a very soft ivory color. Her nails were painted red. I hadn’t seen anyone as pale as she was since Adam and Salladin. What was she doing so far North?

She walked back to me, a cup of steaming tea in her hands. She laid it in front of me and I picked up the iron tankard. It smelled of roses. I thanked her and took a quick drink. It was light on the pallet. “Very nice, thank you,”

“Aren’t you afraid?” She asked me softly. “That someone will try and poison you?”   

“Oh, you wouldn’t be the first one to try, see the thing is, I have the antidote to just about every poison you can get your hands on. Some of the less... _intense_ beauties I’ve gained immunity to altogether. Besides, nobody in this country would dare to poison me. If they come to kill me, they would come at me with a bow or a sword.”

“Why is that?”

I smiled at her, not answering. I saw her shift uncomfortably so I let my face drop to the table. “Is there something I can help you with, m’lady?” I asked her.

“ _I...I need someone dead,_ ” she whispered to me. She’d switched to the Common tongue and I had to physically keep myself from wincing at her lack of subtlety. “My husband… Lord Eyren, you know of him, yes?”

“Yes, he and his beautiful family moved here from Ferelden after they were banished. A great shame it was for you, however, I imagine the shame doesn’t sting quite so bad, now that your husband has built such a _thriving_ trade empire in… what was it? Spices?”

“Yes, spices…” She looked down at the floor, at her beautiful silk slippers.

“I admit… I’m curious why you want him dead. It’s not every day a woman would willingly throw away so much wealth. Do you intend to return to Ferelden with your children after he’s gone?”

“Yes, I do,” she nodded. “I want him dead because,  _spices_ aren’t the only thing he sells,” she whispered to me.    

“Ah,” I said, taking a sip of my tea. “Slaves then?”

“ _Yes,_ but slaves for men with  _particular tastes,_ ” she covered her mouth and looked away. “F-for young girls, younger than you, even.”

“Oh, well the lord _has_ been a naughty boy, hasn’t he?”

“Will you accept the mission?” She asked.

“Yes, fifty sovereigns, and it’ll be done by tonight.”

She handed me her coin purse before quickly standing up and walking away. I counted the money, all there.

“You should have at least charged her a bastard,” one of the Crows said. “You could have charged ten bastards for a lord’s head.”

“Well, I didn’t, there are some people I would be more than happy to kill for free, however, I do have a reputation to uphold.”

“Carry on then,” he said.

* * *

“Our paths just seem to keep crossing,” I said to the young man when I saw him, sitting alone in an alley. “One would almost say it was fate.”

He looked up at me, and the dark circles under his eyes were _startling._ He took the bottle to his lips and drank deeply. He let his head fall low, his blond hair hanging over his face. I sat next to him, quietly. Neither of us said a for a minute, and I took time to observe him. He had grown stubbly facial hair, he smelled awful, he looked a moment away from falling over and dying on me. 

“Do you ever wonder, what your life would have been like if you hadn’t been taken by Lucio?” Zevran asked with slurred speech.

“Not really. I know what it would have happened," I said. "I’d be a Crow… or dead." 

“Yes, good thing you aren’t a Crow,” he muttered. “Our lives are meaningless to them. We’re _expendable._ You aren’t though, are you? You’re _worth something_ to someone.”

“I’m worth a whole lot to myself, yes.” I nodded. “Is there something you wish to talk about, Zevran? Do you need someone to listen?”

He laughed quietly. “I don’t need a _child’s_ help,” he grumbled, before pushing me away. He rolled his head from side to side.  

I looked up at him and rolled my eyes. “Would you like a song?” I asked him.

“Yes, sing me something about a pretty woman.”

“Alright, one copper.” I held my hand out and he snorted but reached into his pocket. He placed a silver piece into my hand. “Just a copper, Zevran.”

“It doesn’t matter!” He snapped. “Nothing matters now.”

I sighed and pocketed the coin. “Alright then.”

 _I beg the Maker his mercy,_   
_I’ve fallen for a beautiful maid._   
_With skin of dark brown, and eyes a sight_   
And a smile as cold as a winter night

 _She mocks me for my affections_   
_She mocks me when I trip over my feet_   
_She laughs at me when I dress in fancy clothes_   
And yet it’s by her side I pray to be

 _I beg the Maker his mercy_   
_This maid, as cruel as can be_   
_I love her more than words can say_   
And I pray to make her mine one day

 _I’ll never forget the way she smiles_   
_I’ll never forget her pretty laugh_   
_I’ll never forsake her if she calls me_   
My lovely maid named-”

“Rinna,” Zevran interrupted me.

Something stirred in my chest, a memory from long before. I looked at him and nodded.

“ _My lovely maid named Rinna_

 _I beg the Maker his mercy_   
_My Rinna as beautiful as the sea_   
_As she says goodbye to me finally_   
I tell her I love her truly

 _She turns and looks at me deeply_   
_A smile on her pretty red lips_   
_She leans in and kisses me softly_   
She tells me, we’ll meet again one day

 _I beg the Maker his mercy_   
_He’s taken my love from my arms_   
_The boat she sailed on was sunken_   
And she goes to his side

 _Oh, beautiful Rinna,_   
_I can never stop loving thee_   
_Oh my darling love Rinna_   
I can never forget ye

 _I beg the Maker his mercy_   
_As my love waits by his side_   
_I pray when I die, she’ll remember_   
The promise she made on the docks

 _Now I go to the Maker’s side_   
_A life spent faithfully to serve_   
_I see my beautiful Rinna_   
And no longer can I despair.”

“That didn’t make me feel better at all,” Zevran spat at me, before taking another long drink of liquor.

“You just asked for a song about a pretty woman,” I said with a shrug. “We Bards are prone to melodrama. And there’s nothing more dramatic than lost love.”

“Too true, little Bard, too true.”

“Why the name Rinna?” I asked him.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” he said with a shake of his head. “Nothing matters anymore.” He stood up and staggered away slowly.

“Zevran,” I called out to him. He stopped but didn’t turn around. “I believe a great destiny awaits you. I hope you’ll allow me to be the one to sing about it.”

He laughed softly. “As you wish, little Bard.”

* * *

**9:30**

_My dearest brothers Adam and Salladin,_

It has been far too long since I’ve written to you, and I am so very sorry about that. I am glad to report another successful endeavor. You’ll be happy to know that the rat you found in the swears last month has indeed been spotted in the city. I know some excellent _rat catchers if you’re willing to pay the price._

_No more talk of business now. I was most curious in your last letter when you told me about our sister that I have yet to meet. Did she truly leave to fight the Blight? A brave soul, I am sure she will sing many wonderful songs about what she sees. I can hardly wait. My own acquaintance has run off to join the Warden as well, though he no longer has a choice in the matter. A few birdies were quite angered by his departure. I doubt he will ever be able to return to Antiva. Though if he does…_

_Salladin, you must tell me how Alura is doing. I heard last that she was with child. Be sure to tell me if your child is a boy or a girl. I need to know what gifts to send. Are you ever planning on making an honest woman out of her? If you do I would like word as soon as you can. I would love to be there to support you._

_I’ve been thinking about leaving Antiva when the Blight is over. I’ve grown...exhausted by the simple life I lead here. The money is assured, the company is grand, but there are no more challenges to face. No more songs to sing. If you happen to find a way for me to sing in Orlais, I would be eternally grateful._

_Stay safe_

_Your darling younger sister, Cicuta_

 

_Our darling sister,_

_We are sorry for the long wait in writing to you. As you are aware things have been most difficult in the south. There have been Darkspawn spotted at our borders and we’ve all grown quite restless. As for the rat, I am not too concerned. He will find his way into the wrong person’s kitchen and be swiftly dealt with._

_Our sister, Leliana has indeed joined with the Gray Wardens to try and stop the Blight. As for your friend, he wouldn’t happen to be a bird as well, would he? We might have heard a tale of another bird looking for him. An old friend of his, I believe._

_Salladin has been blessed by the Maker with two healthy, beautiful, (screaming) baby boys. They look like their mother, thank the Maker. Salladin is also planning to marry her in the spring, naturally, you will find your invitation when they are sent out._

It’s been a year and a half since you killed that scum you called a teacher. I must say both Salladin and I are very proud of you. Word of your songs has reached even as far down as here. It should be no issue to find someone for you to play for. I will, of course, be willing to host you, whenever you arrive. Though I would practice how to play the game a little more before you arrive here. You will constantly be tested. Salladin would love to host you as well, but he does _have a family, I’m sure you understand._

_If you intend to stay in Orlais, I will also be taking over your training. While your skills are more than adequate, a Bard should always be able to play more than two instruments, wouldn’t you agree? Do not fear, I am no drunken madman as your last teacher was, you will not come to harm while under my care._

_Always yours,_

_-Adam_

_P.S. Salladin says to tell you that he finds your fiddle playing clumsy and uninspiring. He demands to teach you when you come to see us again._

 

_Zevran,_

_I have received word that your old friend is coming to see you soon. I pray this letter finds you in time. I implore you to find a solution that does not end with the Warden or your old friend laying in the earth. The Warden must be an amazing person to cause you, of all people to stay and even_ I _was aware of how you felt for...what was his name? Forgive me, I seem to have forgotten. The point is, if you try, there is nothing that you cannot accomplish._

_Remember, you said you would let me write your song one day. I would be so happy to write the song of you and your lover, nothing gets a crowd more excited than a love story._

_-Little Bard_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ends part I!


	7. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins part 2 
> 
> Question, what do you expect is going to happen? Any predictions?

**9:32**

Antiva city was all in a buzz. The horse-drawn carriages entered through the large, golden gates. The merchant princes had spared no expense to show off. Lining their most well-dressed guards along the city’s cobblestone streets. They each held banners to declare which noble house they belonged to. The valiant sons of Dukes and Comets sat upon the backs of beautiful white horses. They turned their smiles down on us peasants, as they lead our new heroes through the streets 

I had a hood covering my face, looking up at the visiting Fereldan nobility and their guests. I stood on top of a wooden crate, next to a few children who looked to be around my age. They were filthy and had dull knives strapped to their hips. Simple pickpockets. They had red cloth wrapped around each of their small heads. Another gang of orphans that robbed foolish rich men.

Even they had a reason to celebrate. The Blight was over, many had died, but it hadn’t touched our beautiful Antiva City. The Darkspawn hadn’t so much as crossed our borders. These were the people who we owed our lives. So we would show them our most sincere gratitude.

King Alistair led the charge. He seemed a little uncertain, waving to the city masses. His wife sat beside him, more confident, kindness radiating from her face. Beautiful, glowing, dark skin and a long black braid that she pushed over her shoulder. A golden circlet pinned to her hair. The picture of beauty and grace. Our hero, our savior. The Gray Warden: Elluka Cousland.

My warden.

My eyes widened and I ran down the alleyway, away from the happy townspeople. Elluka Cousland was a hero, a noble-blooded warrior, a woman who would give up her own life to save the world. The only time she ever showed a sign of selfishness was when she allowed her lover to lay with her friend. They created a new life, so Elluka didn’t have to die. I had a headcanon that she, Alistair, and Morrigan all took an active role in raising Kieran. At least until Elluka disappeared to find the cure to the calling. She was good, down to her very core.

Garret Hawke was a hero too. A bit on the serious side, but kind, and open-minded. A true friend to those who he trusted and a frightening enemy to those who deserved it. A lover of women, a lover of good stories, and a lover of cheap liquor. He’d fallen head over heels for the gentle soul, Merrill and the two were happy and in love. He’d felt like he had no other choice than to kill his dear friend, Anders, but he sided with the mages. He’d stood by Fenris, taught him to read and write. Showed him that his fear was valid, but also how to keep it from controlling his life.

My Hawke.

Maxwell Trevelyan. A nobleman, the youngest child of five, who was dedicated to the Chantry. His temper left much to be desired. Sent to the conclave on behalf of his family. He wouldn’t romance anyone, no room for love in his festering black heart. An Inquisitor who saw his opportunity to rise above his station in life as the fifth son. Power, money, respect. All things he felt he deserved but he didn’t lift a finger to earn. A human supremacist. A man who didn’t see mages as people. He’d execute everyone he had the opportunity to. He’d murder anyone who didn’t agree with him. He’d harden Leliana's heart.  I’d written my own private fanfiction collection once upon a time, of all the monstrous actions he’d committed.  How he’d slaughter elves, murder civilians, subjugate and dominate those who worked under him in the Inquisition.

He’d leave Hawke to die in the Fade, let the chargers die, he wouldn’t recruit Cole because of his spiritual origins. Any shity evil choice that I could make, I did so with glee. I’d been curious, I’d always played the good, strong, hero in video games. For once I wanted to know what it felt like to be cruel. If he felt the way I did while I played, then he’d love every act of suffering he caused.

My Inquisitor. My mistake.

I’d damned the world, delivered it into the hands of a monster. I couldn't change this. Just like The Warden and The Champion, it was Maxwell's destiny to become the Inquisitor. If  _he_ didn't take the mark, then Corypheus would take the mark, and that would be worse than if I stood to the side and allowed Maxwell to take the world by the balls. There was no one else that'd I'd created, who could take the reins in my world state.  

My existence in Thedas made much more sense. It must have been a punishment for the pain I’d inflicted on a dimension I had no idea even existed. For the first time in a very long time, I felt something familiar. A pit in my stomach that told me what I did was wrong. I felt guilty.

I leaned against a wall and rubbed my face a few times, trying to calm my breathing. There was nothing I could do about it. There was no use in shedding tears over something I couldn’t change. It wasn’t like I could change how the Inquisitor behaved, and I couldn’t kill him either.

Well...I _could_ kill him. There were only like forty rifts in the game. After he’d closed them all...then closed the Breach a second time, I could kill him. But by then, it’d be too late. Hundreds of people would have already died on his orders. There would be almost no benefit in going out of my way to kill the Herald of Andraste. No benefit to making myself public enemy numero uno.

Other than causing a slight hiccup to Solas's plan.

_Oh shit! Solas!_

How could I have forgotten that the Dread Wolf was about to skull fuck the world? I was in the world! The fourth game hadn’t come out by the time I was ripped out of my body and shoved into a new one. The ending was totally up in the air! Shit, fuck, cunt wagon!

 There was no pre-programmed hero in this world who could save it! I was literally the only one who had any idea what Solas was up to. No one would know for another ten years, giving him a decade to plan and scheme.

But he was still asleep, wasn’t he? Yeah, he was in his dream state, lost somewhere in the Fade, doing something or other, being a stupid dumb evil-doer. With his stupid wolf self. Asshole.

Maybe...I could meet him in the Fade and put a huge shock collar on him. Then he could  just...stay there. Forever. No way to wreck the world. Or I could try and find his real body and kill it, keep him trapped in the Fade. But knowing Solas, he would have put up some kind of ward to make sure that exact thing wouldn’t happen. Stupid asshole.

Or I could just walk up to him and say “Hey, could you please not destroy this world? I know it’s super fucked up, but I  really  like it here.” He’d kill me, straight out. Just rip my head from my shoulders like he did his good friend Felassan. I was nothing, a shadow, a reminder of his mistakes. I wasn’t even a real person to him.

So...I could do... _nothing_. At least until he was awake, a year before the Inquisition started. Then I could try,  really ,  really  hard to kill him, but the result would  probably  be the same. Fuck me  gently  with a chainsaw. How fucked were we?!

“Fen’Harel, god of tricks…” I said  quietly, looking up at the setting sun. “You major cunt.” Unsurprisingly, he didn’t answer.

I sighed and wrapped my cloak tighter around my shoulders and ducked my head as I passed by a couple who ran hand in hand to see the hero take her tour through the city. My bare feet moved  silently  against the rough stone of the streets.

The tavern I usually played at  was closed, due to the commotion, but there was a smaller-less reputable- tavern that was  just  off the main highway of the city.

Down a few alleyways, duck once to your right, and knock seven times in seven seconds of the fourth door. A burly man named Rico will open the door and let you in.

I showed him my Lute and he smiled, stepping  easily  to the side. I nodded to him, dipping my head  gracefully, moving to a corner of the room to set up.

It was  mostly  peaceful. Music always was so relaxing. I could forget my troubles when I played.  No matter what insane wolves were trying to blow up the world, I felt as if he couldn’t touch me, so long as there was music in my heart.  

* * *

_I was in the Fade again. I knew the drill already and didn’t struggle when the gentle hands guided me towards the realm I’d created for myself. I walked passed the flowing river made from Forest Glacier Freeze Gatorade. I took a roll down the hill made of purple grass and strolled over to the patio area._  

_A crystal glass table with three chairs greeted me, being shaded  from the blue sky with a see-through silk cloth, casting tasteful shadows over my skin. The fifth Harry Potter book rested on the table, waiting for me to pick up where I left off the night before. “  I think  peppermint tea, for today,” I said, snapping my fingers. My favourite china cup appeared, steaming with my request. I took a quick sip and leaned back, my muscles relaxing. “Perfection,” I sighed  happily. This was the safest place in all the worlds._

_I looked up when I heard a soft rustle towards the trees. I set my cup down and looked closer. There was a spirit that was watching me from the treeline. The spirt caught me watching and ducked behind the trees, its eyes watching me nervously. I smiled and stood up from my chair, moving  slowly  so I wouldn’t startle it. I pulled out the chair across from me and turned it around. “Would you like to stay for tea?” I asked._

_It poked its head back out and only hesitated for a moment before it started floating towards me. It stayed close to the trees, circling around the area before deciding to make its way towards me. Its eyes moving nervously  from side to side, ready to flee the moment it thought it was in danger._

_It would have been a frightening sight to behold if I hadn’t learned just  how strange the forms some spirits took could be. It didn’t have legs, but it did have four arms that ended with  sharply  pointed fingertips. It had long black hair that touched the ground. It didn’t have a mouth, but it did have three glowing blue eyes._

_When it did come closer, it bypassed the chair and instead moved closer to me. It moved so close that we were almost nose to nose. “Who...are you?” I asked me, a soft, clear voice echoing sweetly  in my mind._

_I smiled at the spirit. “I am no one special,” I said. “I’m more interested in what you are.”_

_“I am sometimes called Curiosity, or Wonder.” I stayed still for a moment before reaching up and touching my face with gentle hands. Two were playing with my hair. “Why is your flesh so soft?”_

_“I don’t know why my skin is soft, but thank you.” I smiled. “May I ask how you found me?”_

_“Wandering, along, lost, not understand why things happen to you. But you’re curious, you live a life trying to understand why the world is the way it is. I wanted to see you, I could feel you all the way from the other side of the world.”_

_I looked at it strangely  for a moment but it shook its head, pressing its fingers against my lips and shushing me. “I’ll come back, I promise, but you need to wake up.”_  

* * *

  **9:32**

I was in my favorite tavern when a familiar face walked in, a grin stretched across his handsome face. Oh yes, I’d heard amazing stories about him, since he left to join the Warden.  He’d been going through the ranks of the Crows, slaughtering any and all who opposed his decision to rule them and change how they operated. Along with his right-hand man and lover.

His eyes met mine and he gestured with his chin to the table where the Crows used to play cards. Most of them were dead. Yikes. I stood from my spot in the corner of the tavern and walked over to the table, pulling out a chair and smiling at Zevran. “Our paths keep crossing,” I said.

“Some might even say it’s fate,” he said, sitting down in his chair and winking at me “How have you been Cicuta?” He asked.

“I can’t complain. Though your friends' presence has messed with my dealings. There are guards  just  swarming the city. It’s very hard to sneak through a window when there are ‘noble knights’ watching my every move.”

“Can’t  be helped ,” Zevran said with a shrug. “They will be gone, and your business can continue.”

“I never said I stopped, it’s  just  much harder,” I smirked at him. “Want to buy me a drink, handsome?”

I saw his eye twitch  just  a bit. “I admit, I don’t feel comfortable buying liquor for a thirteen-year-old.”

“I meant tea or something,” I said with a sigh.

He hummed. “Ah, yes, that can  be arranged.” He  gently  reached out to a tavern maid and ordered me some tea with honey. The door opened again and Zevran had a grin on his face. “Yes, there he is, the man of the hour.”

I looked and saw him. He was tall and very well muscled. Black hair, dark eyes, and brown skin. Taliesen was very handsome. I looked at Zevran questioningly, raising an eyebrow.

“He wanted to meet you, your letter saved us both, after all,”

“Oh, it was nothing,” I said with a shrug. “I  just  thought...well I remember when you came here. You, him, and that woman. You all looked so happy together. Then one of my acquaintances told me he was looking for you. I was  just  hoping you could be happy with him even if she...isn’t here anymore.”

“Very kind of you,” the newcomer said, taking off his cloak and laying it across his chair. “But my question for you, is why? Would it not do you well to see competition dead? The fewer Crows there are, the more contracts you get.”

“Yes, that is true,” I acknowledged. The maid brought my tea and I thanked her, before taking a sip. Summer brought with it cold teas. Wonderful. “ However, in a strange way,  I consider  Zevran a friend. He helped me kill my master, he taught me how to set traps, I taught him how to pick locks. It would be a shame if he died.”

Taliesen laughed and smacked me on the shoulder. “Well, whatever your reasoning may be, I am glad to be alive.”

“I’m sure you are. Much better than being dead, or so I’ve heard." The three of us shared a laugh. “Now, how may I help you, gentlemen?” I asked.

“We are extending an invitation to you, to join the Crows,” Zevran said. “I already told Taliesen you would say no, but the offer is there.”

“You were right then, I am saying no. I actually will be leaving to Orlais in seven months when Spring comes again.”

Zevran seemed disappointed. “Of course we understand, a Bard  is driven by  wanderlust. I’m surprised you’ve stuck around as long as you have.” He smiled at me. “But you will always have friends here in Antiva, never forget that.”

“Of course, Zevran. Besides, you promised that I could write your song. I’ll need to return  eventually  to do so.”

“Truly, I can hardly wait.”

* * *

**9:33**

It was finally happening. I’d sold the animals, even managed to sell the rickety crap shack that I’d called home. I had a bag of clothes, some food that wouldn’t rot, my instruments, and  all of  my money. I’d paid to be part of a Caravan and it’d take us almost three months to get to Val Royeaux. I’d told Adam that I was on my way, and he said his offer to Host me was still open. I thanked him and accepted.

I met the caravan outside of the city gates and grinned  gratefully  when they moved some things around so I’d have a place to sit down. Then without much fuss...we were leaving. I took some time to observe my travelling companions.  It seemed like they were all  mostly  small merchant families that were trying to find a better life away from Antiva.

There was a young woman who was travelling alone like I was, so I wandered over to her after about six hours on the road. “So, what’s your story?” I asked her, raising my eyebrows  slightly. She looked down at me and huffed, quickening her pace. I followed after her, moving my short legs a little faster. “Won’t you at least give me your name?” I begged, fluttering my eyelashes  sweetly.

She rolled her blue eyes. “Away from me, knife-ear!” She snapped. She stomped away, leaving me to roll my eyes and sigh at her ignorance.  A few of my fellow travellers had heard the exchange and shook their heads in disapproval, but they weren’t going to say anything in my defence. I set my shoulders  stiffly  and pretended that I wasn’t offended.

That was something I knew I’d have to get used to until I made a better name for myself as a Bard. Elves were second class citizens.  I’d  been spared  most of the racism in Antiva because I was a frightening figure who carved my place in their world with blood. But to these people and to any new person I met, I was  just  an elf. A nobody.

I followed the young woman with my eyes, observing the way she looked from side to side. She  apparently  wasn’t a very subtle person. Or  maybe  she was, and I was the only one who even noticed. She turned around and caught my eyes. I smiled at her, stretching my mouth wide open, showing my teeth. I wiggled my fingers at her and she turned away, pulling her hood over her head. _What fun._ I really hoped that she was running away from the law or that she had some kind of outstanding bounty on her head. I needed a little more coin.

I was the only elf among my travelling companions and that put me at a great disadvantage. Most of them were probably Andrastian, so if I wanted to get away without winding up in the Circle, I'd have to make sure I wasn't using any magic around them. Then there was also the possibility they might try and sell me if we ever ran into any trouble. I was expendable to them. What was the life of one knife-ear when compared to fifteen humans, after all? Sometimes, I really hated humans. Or why I hated organized religion. 

"So, you're an elf, huh?" A voice to my right said. I looked up in surprise and found a young man grinning down at me. 

"What gave it away?" I asked blankly. 

"Eh, don't take it to seriously, I just wanted to ask if you were Dalish. 

"Why?" 

"Because I'm  _curious,"_ he said with a shrug. "A Dalish clan passed through my home in Rivain, you act a lot like they did." 

"I was born in a Dalish clan, but I didn't live with them." 

"Oh," the boy said, with a disappointed frown. "I was hoping you'd tell me about your gods." 

"I don't have any gods." 

"Really? Not even the Maker?" 

" _Especially,_ not the Maker," I hissed quietly. I took in every detail of his face. Very dark skin and silver eyes. Hair that was braided, going down to his shoulders. He looked about my age. He was a very handsome young man. "If I did worship any of the Dalish gods, it'd be Fen'harel." 

He blinked in surprise. "Really, but I thought he was the bad guy." 

"Well, not everything is so black and white," I told him with a wave of my hand. "Fen'harel's main attributes are deception, cunning, and rebellion. No one is left alive to tell what happened over five thousand years ago, so I'd bet both my ears that the Creators weren't nearly as benevolent as the Dalish would have us believe." 

"So you  _do_ believe in the Dalish gods?" He asked. 

"Yes, I believe they were real, but do I think they were gods? No." I shook my head. 

The young man smiled at me, his eyes dancing playfully. "It was wonderful talking to you!" He said, sticking out his hand. "I'm Jeremiah, by the way, thank you for indulging me." 

I giggled softly, before slapping a hand over my mouth and glaring at the ground. I collected myself and took his hand, smiling at him. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Jeremiah." I nodded and let go. "Curiosity is a trait that more people should have, it was no trouble." 

He whistled quietly and shook his head. "You might just change your mind, I ask a lot of questions." He grinned and winked at me. " _Such as,_ can you play that instrument on your back?" He asked. 

I reached behind me and touched the Lute that I kept in a harness. "Oh, you  _bet_ I can play," I said, no hint of modesty in my voice. "I'm a minstrel." I puffed my chest out in pride. 

"Would you indulge me again then, beautiful?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. His braids fell into his eyes, and he pushed them away with a calloused hand. My mouth hung open for a second, and his cocky grin spread wider across his face. 

"S-sure!" I managed to gasp out. "When we stop for the night, I'll play as much as you like me too!" 

He laughed, a pleasant sound from deep in his chest. "You need to stop making me promises like that, beautiful, I have every intention of holding you to them." 

I looked away from him and rubbed my cheeks, letting my hair fall into my face. I cleared my throat and stood straighter. "All you've been doing is asking questions about me, how about you tell me about yourself?" 

"Me? I'm nothing really special. I was born Llomerryn. My parents and I are leaving for Ferelden, to settle in somewhere new. I'm fifteen years old. I have two older brothers and a younger sister. Both of my brothers are in Kirkwall and my sister is staying with my aunt." 

"So you're a farmer?" I asked him. 

"Goodness no," he laughed. " _I_ am a poet, beautiful." He winked and walked in front of me, taking my hand and kissing it. "And you, dear, are my new muse." 

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. I blushed brightly and tucked my head against my chest. Boy howdy was he handsome. "Sweet-talker," I mumbled. 

"Jeremiah!" A voice called. He looked behind him and a beautiful dark-skinned woman was waving him over. "Come and help your father get our cart out of the mud." 

The young man sighed and turned away from me. "Forgive me, beautiful, but duty calls." 

"R-right, see you around," I said, waving at his back lamely. When he was out of earshot I sighed deeply. "What the fuck just happened?" I asked the open air, not expecting a response. 


	8. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo leave me a comment if you liked this

**9:33**

It was nighttime and the caravan was finally setting up our make-shift camp. The leader of our group gave me a bedroll when I told him I didn't have one. A butcher who was travelling with us was making our dinner. I was served last, the best pieces of meat were already gone, so my meal was mostly carrots and ram fat. Which was perfectly fine with me. I sat away from the rest of the camp, leaning against the wheels of a cart, watching the others talk and laugh together. The food was really good. It'd been years since someone had cooked for me. Not since I'd moved out of my parents' house when I was nineteen. 

"That's a weird thought," I said to myself, looking up at the night sky. I remember living for twenty-five years, but I was mentally fourteen years old. I had thirty-nine years of life experience. From what I remember about brain development-which wasn't a lot-no matter how much I  _remembered_ my brain would behave like a fourteen-year-old's would. So was I almost forty or just turning fourteen? What was real? My soul or my body? If the Fade was a reflection of your true self, I appeared there just like I did in the waking world. So I was...fourteen then. Sure, whatever, I was fourteen. I nodded my head with a note of finality.  

"You seem lost in thought, beautiful," a rich voice said. I looked up and smiled when Jerimiah bent over at the waist in a mocking little bow. "You made me a promise, or did you forget?" He asked. He didn't ask before he sat down, propping one of his legs up and leaning his arm against it. He grinned at me, and I noticed that he had hoop earrings. I hadn't looked close enough the first time we spoke. They looked...nice. "So, will you play me a song?" He raised an eyebrow. 

I swallowed and nodded, setting my dinner down. I pulled my lute off of my back, tunning it quickly. "Is there anything, in particular, you want to hear?" I asked him when the instrument was ready. 

He hummed and chewed on his bottom lip, thinking for a moment. "I want to hear a tragedy," he said. "Do you know anything like that?" 

I strummed my lute and thought. A song came to mind and I sat up straighter, a wide grin on my face. "Yes! I do actually." 

"Oho, please play it then." 

I stood to my feet and started to strum the introduction, a slow jazz waltz version the song I was playing. 

" _Once long ago in a land across the sea_  
_There was a kingdom of gross cruelties_  
_And the ruler was a girl so very mean_  
_A beautiful young woman of age sixteen_

 _Her castle was littered with every luxury_  
_Along with a servant with the same face as she_  
_Her_ favorite _horse was called Josephine_  
_Everything belonged to this spoiled little queen_

 _"If our people lack money and food_  
_Have someone else solve it, I'm not in the mood_  
_Anyone who stands up against my demands_  
_Will be sent to the guillotine on my command"_

 _Oh evil flower_  
_Blooms beautifully_  
_Growing in such vivid_ colors  
_To all the weeds who think of cutting shot her reign_  
_They'll all be plucked before they see another day_

 _The tyrant queen was in love indeed_  
_With a handsome prince who hated her every deed_  
_Instead, he wed a maid from a local town_  
_With emerald green eyes and who never frowned_

 _The princess knew this and was filled with hate_  
_She had orders for her generals, no room for debate_  
_Whispering calmly while she had her morning tea_  
_"I want to hear that woman scream i_ n agony!" 

 _Houses of the innocent people went up in flames_  
_Soldiers cut down anyone in their way_  
_Despite all the people that were killed that night_  
_Not a single tear fell from her icy eyes_

 _Oh evil flower_  
_With bloody blooms_  
_An array of the finest doom_  
_Even though the flower was so very refined_  
_The thrones had driven her garden to decline_

 _The people soon grew mad with rage_  
_They formed an army, they could no longer wait_  
_Leading the charge with_ armor _of red_  
_Was a woman who would avenge the dead_

 _All the anger had built up over the years_  
_Now the people would not be ruled by fear_  
_And her armies were tired from so many wars_  
_So they all betrayed her and took up their swords_

 _At last the castle gates were broken down_  
_Charging into the castle, not a single servant to be found_  
_Finding the queen alone not putting up a fight_  
_So she was dragged out into the night._

 _Oh evil flower_  
_Steadily bloom_  
_With an array of beautiful doom_  
_All the years of pride in decadence_  
_How could she know it would lead to her death_

 _Once long ago in a land across the sea_  
_There was a kingdom of gross cruelties_  
_And the ruler was a girl so very mean_  
_A beautiful young woman of age sixteen_

 _She was to be executed the very next day_  
_It seemed that people could hardly wait_  
_What did the queen think without any loyalty_  
_Sitting in jail knowing she'd never see seventeen_

 _Finally and long awaited the time had come_  
_The church bells rang out a little glum_  
_Ignoring the crowd as they roared with hate_  
_She grinned madly even hearing her fate_

 _Oh evil flower_  
_Wilting alone_  
_Sadly haunting, sending chills to the bone_  
_Now we speak of her without a second thought_  
_The daughter of evil got exactly what she saught."_

When the song was finished I looked down at the young man who was observing me thoughtfully. A smile spread slowly on his face and he clapped, jumping to his feet. He moved quickly, standing very close to me. "Stunning, simply stupendous!" He cried, still clapping. "What a wonderful story." 

I laughed and backed up a step. "Thank you very much! It's very appreciated. However, that is far from the end of  _that_ tale. It's a much longer and much sadder tragedy than the evil queen's perspective." 

"Would you be so kind as to share then?" He asked curiously. 

"Not tonight, I think it's better to keep you guessing for a little while." I smiled, pushing my hair behind my ear. "I'll play anything else you'd like though," I said with a grin. 

The two of us sat by that cart for most of the night, me singing to him quietly. I couldn't help but resent his mother for calling him away from me again. He smiled and bid me goodnight, kissing the back of my hand again before running off. I watched him go and turned away, resting my face against the cool wood of the cart, sighing heavily. I knew what this was, and I was  _not_ happy about it. I should have expected that I'd start having crushes sooner or later. It was ill-advised and foolish. I'd probably never see him again after I left the group to make the rest of the way to Val Royeaux. I was setting myself up for heartbreak. I thought I'd lost the ability to feel  _anything_ like heartbreak or crushes or giddiness. I didn't know if I should be happy or concerned. 

* * *

_There was another spirit that was clinging onto Curiosity when I entered my sanctuary. Curiosity was showing it all the strange things I'd created. When I stepped into the realm the two spirits turned around and I could feel their happiness when they felt my presence. Curiosity took the new spirit by the arm and dragged it over to me. "Good night, my friend!" Curiosity chirped, entering my personal space. It looked at me, its three eyes squinting happily._

_"Good night, curiosity," I said with a grin, patting it gently on top of its head. "You've brought someone new, might I ask who?" I asked, tilting my head to the side and smiling at the new spirit. "Hello, it's nice to meet you."_

_This spirit had short pink hair and a soft white glow around its body. It reached out and gently grabbed my hand, and kissed it. I blinked in surprise, but the spirit continued to hold my hand, grinning at me happily. I looked over at Curiosity who looked smug. "This is a spirit of Yerning," it said. "Typically they're attracted when someone has their first love."_

_I blushed hotly and looked down at the spirt who bobbed its head happily. It moved and hugged me around the middle, happiness radiating from its small form. "W-well, I'm happy to make your acquaintance."_

_"He yearns for you as well!" The spirit said, leaning up on its toes. "He wanted to kiss you, while you were singing, but he didn't want to frighten you."_

_"I've only known him for a day," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "I probably would have decked him if he'd done that."  I rubbed my temple and sighed, smiling despite myself. "Does he really like me back?" I asked the spirit who bobbed its head rapidly._

_"You're curious what it would be like to hold his hand," Curiosity said floating a bit closer, wiggling its eyebrows._

_"H-hey!" I blushed darkly when I heard both of the spirits giggling. "Well...maybe a little bit," I said with a shrug. I cleared my throat and pointed towards my table. "Could I interest the two of you in something to drink?" I asked them._

_"I don't have a mouth, how would I drink?" Curiosity asked._

_"You can sit there while Yerning and I have a cup of tea, then," I said. I led them towards the table, snapping my fingers. Two cups appeared, already filled with jasmine tea. Yearning sat across from me and looked at the tea happily. I took a few sips, sighing as the tension of the day melted away from my shoulders. "Ah, I really needed this," I said closing my eyes and letting myself relax._

_"Why do you kill people?" Curiosity asked when a few seconds of silence had passed._

_I spit my tea out, coughing harshly. "Excuse me?" I asked, my heart beating rapidly. "Where did_  that  _come from?" I asked._

_"The person who made you kill is dead, isn't he? Why don't you stop?"_

_I sighed and sank down in my chair. How did you explain something like that? "Well...I kill people because it's what I know_  how  _to do. I make good money, I love the thrill of the chase, and it's not like I'll just kill_ anyone."  _I shrugged and looked back at my cup of tea. "I mean...I know it's not an ideal situation, but it's the reality that I live in. It's not a bad one either, while I don't like to kill, it's a demand and I'm the supply."_

 _"But you don't want to kill..." Yearning said. "I can feel that too, more than anything, you just want to be allowed to play your music in peace. But...you don't think that's possible."_

_"Because at this point, it's really not. I'm a Bard, a very_ well known  _Bard. This is my place in life...at least for now."_

_"What will you do when the man you created starts to burn the world?" Curiosity asked. I flinched, and I felt one of its hands touch my arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."_

_"No...it's fine," I said, waving my hand, swallowing thickly. "I have no idea what I'll do. I was hoping I could stay far away from the Inquisition, but I kind of get the feeling that's not going to happen." I rested my head against the table. "I don't know what to do, other than killing him, I don't really have a lot of options."_

_The two spirits looked at each other before turning back to me. "We know someone who can help you come up with an idea," Yearning said._

_"But you'll have to leave this realm for a little while," Curiosity said. It leaned a little closer. "The area outside your realm is dangerous to mortals. There are demons lurking around the outside, drawn to your more...unpleasant emotions."_

_"Will that affect you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow._

_"No...they aren't here for us," it said. "When we leave, you need to hold my hand, and not speak to anything until we get to where we need to be. Do you think you can do that?" It asked._

_"Yeah, I think I can manage that." I nodded._

_The two spirits each took one of my hands and led towards the edge of my safe haven. The shared one more look before they pulled me through the barrier that had been erected around my forest. I was hit with the coldness of the blank space of the Fade. While the area I created was full and life-like, the empty place before me felt like a blank piece of paper._

_The demons swarmed us instantly. Yearning and Curiosity tightened their hold on me and dragged me through the swarm. They were all trying to get my attention, but I set my eyes firmly ahead of me. I felt a desire demon grab me by the hair, yanking my head back, but my spirit companions were there in an instant, pushing the demon away. We moved quicker while the demons chased after us, calling out to me._

_Curiosity stopped in front of a barrier and pushed me in, sending me tumbling over my feet. I fell flat on my face into soft, green grass. I sat up and rubbed my face and looked up. There were buildings floating far in the distance, glittering in the sunlight. I was in a forest with the_  biggest  _fucking trees I'd ever seen in my entire life. Even bigger around than the trees in the Redwood forest back home. I stood up and gawked like an idiot, turning around to take in the sights. "Holy shit," I said, laying my palm against one of the trees. It seemed to pulse with life. What's more, it seemed_  aggravated _that I'd touched it without permission._ I _yanked my hand away. "O-oh sorry!" I apologised, bowing at the waist. "I've never met a sentient tree before. I didn't think before I acted, please forgive me."_

_I felt the tree send energy over me. More like a 'don't worry about it, but do it again' kind of feeling._

_"W-wait! I have a question!" I said to it. "Are you a Dryad?" I asked, feeling my curiosity bubbling up inside of me._ _There was a feeling of surprise and I felt like I had the tree's full attention. I assumed that was a yes then. I squealed quietly and clapped my hands. "Oh my goodness, I have so many questions for you!" I smacked myself on the head. "Stop it, girl, you're here for a reason." I sighed and bowed to the tree again. "I'm sorry for bothering, but my friends told me that a spirit dwells here who can help me. Would you be able to point me in that direction?_ _" I asked it._

_Its branches shifted and it pointed south. It reached down and nudged me gently with one of its bottom branches. "Thank you!" I called out before hurrying along the way. I could hear the wind blow, like the trees, were talking to one another. 'What a strange little mortal,' I could almost hear them saying. I made sure not to touch any of the trees as I passed them._

_Eventually, I found a clearing, but no one was there. I looked around, trying to see if I could find the spirit if I just looked at the right trees, but I couldn't. I sat on the ground with a sigh._

_"You are a rare soul, to be looking for me," a soft voice said. I jumped to my feet and spun around. The source of the voice was a tall spirit, that glowed green. It had short black hair and glowing green eyes. Sitting next to her was a black wolf with red eyes. I back up a few steps and fell over. "Ah, be calm little one, no harm will come to you here," it said, walking closer. The wolf followed after her but stayed close to the tree line. "How can I help you little one?" It asked, holding out a hand and helping me to my feet._

_"You're a spirit of Wisdom!" I said, looking up at it in wonder. It smiled and nodded. "That's really cool, and I wish I had time to ask you a bunch of questions, but I need some advice. It's really, super, important!"_

_It waved a hand and a wooden bench grew out of the ground. It sat me down and took my hands. "Of course, I can see that something troubles you deeply."_

_"Right!" I sighed and looked briefly at the wolf, who seemed to be sizing me up. "Is he going to eat me?" I asked the spirit who chuckled and shook her head. "Good, alright that's good." I closed my eyes for a second and looked back up at Wisdom. "So, I'm not really sure how to even explain this, but there's a thing that's going to happen in the future. A really_ bad  _thing."_

_"You'll have to be more specific, my dear," it said._

_"Okay well...in the future, there's going to be this dude...Corypheus and he's going to blow up a temple to try and enter the Fade physically and become a god. There's a human man who's going to interrupt his plan, and he has a mark on his hand. Because of the explosion, there's a huge hole in the sky and rifts pop up everywhere and this guy is the only one..._ literally the only one... _who can keep the world from completely disintegrating everything._

_"Well, see the problem is that he's a total cunt. The cruellest most power-hungry man who ever lived. He's going to lay waste to the world, while he saves it. Now, I obviously can't just outright kill him, or everyone dies right along with him. But I can't just let him do all the shity stuff he's going to do. But if he doesn't have the mark, there won't be a world left to feel guilty in." I sighed and lowered my head. "So you see my dilemma."_

_"I would very much like to know how you came across this information," Wisdom said._

_I clicked my tongue and looked down. "I don't think I should tell you," I said. "S-sorry."_

_"Don't fret," it said. "All things to those that wait, after all." It turned away from me, thinking deeply. It hummed and smiled. "Yes...that might work. How long do we have until these events come to pass?" It asked._

_"Seven years, I'm not sure down to the day, but it happens in 9:40, I know that for sure."_

_"Seven years is enough time to work with." It nodded a few times. "Very well, little mortal, when it's time, you need to make sure that you're there when this explosion happens."_

_"See, that's the other thing, if I go there I will totally die...just like everyone else." I sighed and pulled my hands away so I could rub my temples. "There's not a lot I can do about that, though."_

_"I understand..." it said, rubbing my back. "However, you must be there. When the time comes, you must be sure that you are there with that human man, when he takes the mark_ _."_

 _I looked at Wisdom with wide eyes. "What?! Why_ _?!" I asked, feeling a lump in my throat._

_"Hush," it whispered, placing a finger of my lips. "All will become clear when the time is right. I do not know why you were given this vision, however, I do know that you are the only one who can stop this man from coming into full power. While you might not be able to prevent him from taking the mark, you can prevent him from creating any more chaos than is necessary."_

_"Cool...no pressure or anything," I said with a shrug. I nodded a few times and laughed quietly. "Well...one step at a time, I guess," I said._

_"Yes, that is a good way to look at it."_

_I looked up at the blue sky and gazed at the towering buildings. "Thank you for the advice, Wisdom, but I need to Wake up now."_

* * *

My eyes snapped open. The sun was just starting to rise, and I could see the purple of the night sky disappearing. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and yawned. I got up and put my bedroll away in my pack. No one else was awake, other than the three people who had taken the last watch for the night. The three men tipped their heads to me when I moved closer to the fire. They offered me some breakfast and I took it. I sat on one of the logs around the fire and ate quietly. "So what's happening today?" I asked one of the men. 

"We're stopping near the next town for an hour, we're picking up a group of mercenaries for protection and a few of the Caravan are stopping in that town to join another Caravan to take them to Ferelden." The leader of the group said. "Then we'll be heading straight for Orlais. We should get there within a month, at the latest." 

I nodded, my eyes falling closed for a moment. "Yeah, alright, that's great." I let my head fall back a few times before I stood up to pack up the rest of my gear. There were others already starting to wake up and pack as well. We'd be leaving within the hour. 

My work was interrupted by a handsome young man, who grinned beautiful, taking my pack from my hands. I looked up at him in surprise when he bowed at the hips. "Allow me, please," he said with his smug grin. I rolled my eyes, but waved my hand, letting him take my pack. "So, beautiful, it's come to my attention that I don't know your name." 

"That's because I didn't tell you my name," I said, not looking up at him. The other members of the caravan were all eating breakfast. I hoped that we'd be leaving within the hour. If we got moving fast enough, we could get pretty far without the scorching heat of the Antivan sun. 

"Well?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Would you do me the honor of knowing your name?" He asked. 

I stopped and shifted uncomfortably. "I don't...well I don't have a real name," I said with a sigh. "Look, it's super complicated, you can call me whatever you want to." 

"You don't have a name?" He asked, surprise in his voice. "Why not?" 

"Because no one ever named me," I said with a slight shrug. "It's never been an issue or anything. I just don't have one." 

"Well that won't do at all," he shook his head and crossed his arms, touching his chin with his right pointer finger. "You're an elf, so we should give you a propper Elvhen name." He thought for a few moments before his 'ah-ha' moment struck him. "There was a Dalish clan who visited our town ever three months. One of the women in the clan was called Ashara. I asked her what her name meant, she said it means 'woman who has a great journey.'" He smiled at me. "Do you like it." 

I looked to the ground, trying to fight the smile that was itching to burst from me. "Yeah, it's a pretty good name, so I guess I'll use it." I shrugged and flipped my hair to one side of my shoulder. 

"Perhaps it's not the most inventive name, but I think it fits you well, beautiful." 

I knocked him gently on the arm. 

We were ready to leave in an hour and a half. We had six hours before we reached the next town. After about three hours, we stopped to take a break for lunch. Jerimaha sat next to me, a grin on his handsome face. "So, beautiful, I was wondering if I could be a bit forward." 

"That sounds scary," I said, smirking at him. "Go ahead, I suppose." 

He smiled and reached towards my face. He pushed a few strands of my hair behind my ears and moved closer. Close enough where I could feel his breath on my face. "You have such beautiful eyes," he said, gazing at me kindly. "They're the most splendid purple I've ever gazed into in my life." 

"Do you spend a  _lot_ of time, gazing into lady's eyes?" I asked with a chuckle. 

"But of course, I  _am_ a poet. I must always observe." He moved a bit closer, so our noses were touching. "But it seems that you've captured me in your gaze, sweet flower." 

I snorted. "Wow, you really are a poet, aren't you?" I giggled softly and grinned up at him. "If you're going to kiss me, I suggest you just do it." 

He sucked in a breath, his eyes suddenly wide with panic. He touched my hand, lacing our fingers together before he leaned closer and gently covered my mouth with his. He put his other hand on my shoulder, pulling me closer. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was nice. He pulled away, his eyes wide. He grinned at me, fire lighting off in his smile. 

"You know what..." I said, touching his dark cheek. "You're really beautiful too." 

One of the guardsmen blew his horn, causing Jeramiha and I to stand up and look at him. "Rider approaching!" He called over his shoulder, tense as hell. The riders descended on us, the official crest of the Chantry on their banners. Seeing the familiar sunburst seem to set people at ease. The leader of the ground dismounted from his horse and walked quickly over to the leader of the caravan. He pulled his helmet off and I almost pissed myself, right then and there.

He was handsome, black hair cut close to his head, smouldering green eyes. His lips were full and his skin was ivory white. But his cruel grin made everyone shrink away from the handsome man. Maxwell Trevelyan.

He pulled his sword out and severed our leader's head right from his shoulders, and turned to the rest of our group. "You have been harbouring an apostate among you!" He cried out, flicking his sword casually, letting the blood drip down onto the grass. He turned to his men. "We must punish these sinners, in the name of our holy mother! Kill them all! Leave none of these heathens alive!" 

 _Fuck!_  


	9. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you like this, tell me why. Or if you don't tell me why not <3

There were seven of them, all armed to the teeth. Three with bows and arrows while the rest had long sword and shields. They obviously weren't men who questioned orders. They attacked when Maxwell gave the orders, little thought to even the children as they rushed into battle. Most of the caravan were unarmed civilians. We had two remaining guards who drew their swords, begging Maxwell and his men to turn and leave. "We're harbouring no one!" One of the guards called, blacking a blow from one of the soldiers. He was pushed back and thrown violently to the ground. People were already running away, screaming, calling out to the Maker. 

I felt a vice on my wrist and had just enough time to look at the dark hand grabbing me, before Jeramiha was dragging me bind him, running as quickly as he could. I had to run after him, or risk being pulled down. He ran to his mother, who was on the ground behind an overturned cart. She was grabbing her leg, where an arrow had pierced through it. We ducked behind the cart, dropping to our knees. "Mother!" Jeramiha gasped, crawling towards him. She grabbed him by the chin, smiling sadly. "Mother, come on, we can help you run away." He begged, grabbing her hand. 

"No, my son, please you need to run away," she said, tears gathering in her eyes. "Run as far and as fast as you possibly can."  

"No!" He grits his teeth and grabbed his mother's arm, but she wouldn't budge. 

She looked at me and smiled. "Please take my son as far away as you can," she said. 

I nodded and reached out, gently touching Jeremiah's shoulder. "If we run in the opposite direction, we can act as a distraction. We might be able to lead them away from her," I said. I was lying. He must have known, the way tears filled his eyes, truly broke my heart. I took his hand and pulled him away from his mother, moving my legs as fast as they would take me. I felt him stumble a few times before he caught up to my rhythm. 

I dodged a few arrows. I cursed, I'd been hoping that they just wouldn't have noticed us. I turned around for half a second and picked up speed when I saw Maxwell mounting his horse. He pulled out his sword and pointed it at me, looking me straight in the eyes, a wild smile on his face. "We need to get to higher ground!" I shouted to Jeremiah. "Or they'll run us down!" 

"Right!" He yelled, suddenly jerking me to the left. We ran until we got to the base of a rocky mountain. We both started climbing up as fast as we could. I was a few feet ahead of him, but I made sure to show him the safest places to grab onto. I stopped to take a breath and saw that the horse riders stopped at the base. It was too steep for their horses to follow after us, but that only seemed to light Maxwell's blood on fire. 

He jumped off of his horse and carefully made sure his boots were properly tied. He saw me watching him and waved lazily, a twisted grin marring his face. He took a few steps back before running and jumping, grabbing onto the rocks below us. Jeremiah and I both screamed as we hurried our climbing pace. I reached the top first, reaching down and grabbing my companion's hand, hoisting him up onto the ledge. I looked down and saw Maxwell was getting closer. 

"We can't outrun him!" I yelled, dragging Jerimiha away from the ledge. I reached into my side pack and grabbed two short daggers, throwing one to Jeremiah. "We need to fight!" 

"Are you  _insane?!"_ He snapped back, holding the dagger against his chest. "That psycho is a Templar! There's no way we stand a chance!" 

I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "Listen!" I sighed and looked at the ground. "There's only one god. The god of Death, and do you know what we say to the god of Death when he comes to claim us?" I asked. Jeremiah shook his head, wiping sweat out of his face. "We say 'not today'!" I let go of him and got into my ready stance. 

He looked at me for a moment before he mimicked me, holding his dagger just like I showed him. Maxwell climbed over the edge and rocked a bit while he steadied himself. He looked at the two of us, curiosity in his eyes. He smiled widely and drew his sword. "Wonderful!" He said, tilting his head to the side, stretching his arms. "It's no fun if you don't fight back." 

Then he was on us. 

He rushed at Jerimiha first, who had enough sense to dodge out of the way of the Templar's sword. There was an exposed area under his gauntlet and I rushed, driving my dagger into his arm. Maxwell yelled in pain and smacked me in the face with his shield. He followed with a swing of his blade, hitting my hip, cutting deeply into the flesh. I fell onto my side and he raised his sword, but Jeremiah was behind him in an instant burying his blade into the man's ass and pulling it out, backing away quickly. 

I reached forward, and to my horror, I couldn't grab ahold of Maxwell's string, it was like it kept slipping out of my hands. I couldn't kill him, not that way. I pressed y hand to my hip and raised myself to my feet, grabbing my dagger. That  _fucker._ He backhanded Jeremiah and grabbed him by the throat and  _lifted him_ off the ground. I could hear my friend choking and acted desperately. 

"No!" I screamed, raising my hands again, and sending a burst of fire towards Maxwell. The Templar was caught off guard and dropped the young man. "Leave him alone! You came for me, didn't you?! So  _come and get me!"_ I growled.

Maxwell hummed and chuckled, grabbing his middle as his laughter grew in volume. He wiped away a fake tear. "I wasn't looking for anyone, but if I bring you in, I won't even get yelled at! Fantastic, wonderful." 

Jeremiah jumped to his feet and ran to my side. "It's you!" He accused, hands clenched angrily. " _You're_ the apostate? You're the reason all this happened?!" 

"Yes, I'm an apostate. But I get the feeling that this mother fucker was just attacking us because he could." I looked over at Maxwell who was watching us in amusement. I looked at Jeremiah and grabbed his hands. "Run far away. run to the town we were supposed to meet our bodyguards. Have them take you to Ferelden. Live your life, write your poems, and live happily." 

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. He took a step forward like he was going to argue. I leaned up on my toes and kissed him gently, slipping my knife into his other hand. "I promise, I'll be okay. But if you're here, I can't go all out."   

He pulled away from me, looking down at the ground in shame, before turning and running as fast as he could. 

"It's fine," Maxwell said, cracking his knuckles. "I'll just hunt him down when I'm finished with you." 

"Like  _hell,_ you will!" I growled. I felt fire crawl warmly up my arms, before launching it at the man. I still couldn't kill him, he had a destiny, but I had to make sure that Jeremiah got away. Maxwell backed up a step, but still just seemed so  _tickled_ by my display of power. I launched a few fireballs his way, which he used his shield to block. 

I kept throwing the fire at him. I used a powerful blast and knocked him backwards, towards the edge of the cliff. He launched forward, slashing me with his sword. He caught me in the shoulder, digging it deep into the flesh, laughing when I screamed in pain. I used my feet to spring off the ground and grab his wrists, my hands still engulfed in flames. He screamed as his flesh burned and bubbled under my hands. He knocked me off of him, punching me in the stomach. I doubled over, vomiting everything I'd eaten that morning. The fire on my hands went out when he followed it up with a kick. He grabbed me by my hair and smashed my face into the ground, breaking my nose. Blood poured down my face. 

"You  _cunt,"_ he growled. I tried to grab his string again, but just like before, it slipped out of my grasp. He smirked down at me. "Oh, are you trying  _that_ again?" He asked. He turned me over on my back and straddled me, punching me in the face. "I'm no magic expert, but I think that's an ineffective method of combat against a Templar," he smiled happily. He lifted his arm and punched me again. My vision wavered and my head lulled to the side as darkness engulfed me. 

* * *

_This was not the Fade that I was used too. There was no green sky, purple grass, or river made from Gateraid. There was almost nothing, but an inky grey that seemed to pull me in, and choke me. "Hello?" I called out. I wasn't alone, that much was obvious from the quiet moaning I could hear out in the distance. Everything became suddenly still and I heard feet rushing in my direction. Hands pushed through the grey and pushed it aside, bending reality around them._

_The newcomer was another tall elf. He looked at me with white eyes, mouth turned down into a deep frown. His hair was black, reaching his middle back, some of it even falling into his face. He took a few shaky steps towards me, reaching out in my direction. "Oh ye of little faith, walk among your masters, and exalt your gods," he said in a choppy voice, swaying as he walked forward. "Kneel before June, and do as he commands, to see the return of the true Elvhen people."_

_I sighed and started backing up quickly. "This again?" I asked with a sigh. "Come on dude, I'm kind of in the middle of something, I don't really have time for this."_

_He continued to shamble forward so I turned and ran into the grey as fast as I could. I tried calling out to the Fade, demanding that it bend to my will, but nothing was working. There was nothing but the grey. I let out a shriek when the tall elf appeared in front of me. He reached out and grabbed me by the throat, lifting me off my feet._

_"Fleeing from me, as if I were some simple spirit," he tilted his head to the side, grip tightening around my throat. "If I kill you here, your body in the real world will be ripe for the taking."_

_"Not...cool..." I gasped out, clawing at his hand._

_"Tuast anor sul tuast venuralas," he said. "Dina i sul'ema em sal'shiral."_

_"Let go!" I yelled, kicking my feet as hard as I could. He grunted a few times, but he didn't relent. I was_ actually  _starting to slip away, my vision focusing and unfocusing of the 'god' before me. "Please, let go," I begged, tears coming to my eyes. "I don't want to die."_

_Something strange flashed in his eyes, and he let me fall to the ground. I got to my hands and knees, coughing violently. I grabbed my neck, touching the tender spots where he'd been grabbing. It would bruise if we'd been in the physical._

_"This...shouldn't be possible..." a new voice said, waving the grey away from him effortlessly. He stepped into the ring, his black hair was braided and held back in the front by a golden wolf's jaw. The sides of his head were shaved. His skin was a lighter tan than mine was, his blue eyes were shining with anger and curiosity. June looked at the newcomer, his arms falling to his sides._

_The newcomer walked closer to me and grabbed me by the hair, glaring at me dangerously. "How did you get here?!" He demanded, his voice a deep growl. He shook me when I didn't answer right away._

_"I don't know!" I cried, grabbing his hand, digging my nails into his skin. "I just woke up here!"_

_He made a disgusted sound and released me. He didn't push me back to the ground. He looked at June and waved him away, causing the false god to disappear into the mist. He walked around the space, flicking his hand a few times. I made sure my back was never turned towards him. I felt apprehension and confusion. I knew who this was...but for the life of me, I couldn't place his face to any name I knew._

_"You have no abilities to see into the future," he said, a casual smirk finding its way onto his face. "I will ask you_  once,  _how is it you've managed to stumble upon such sensitive information."_

_I squinted at him. I saw the irritation in his eyes and I held up my hands. "Woah there, dude," I said. "You're going to have to be a_ bit _more specific."_

_He rolled his eyes. "The orb, Corypheus, how did you come upon that information?" He asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, leaning his weight on his left leg._

_"Oh, that..." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Who are you?" I asked, scratching my nose. "I mean...it's like I totally know who you are, but I don't. I feel like I'm seeing a familiar face, and I know that face really well, but no matter how hard I strain my mind I can't remember."_

_He hummed a smirk finding its way back onto his face. "I took a quick peek into your head when you came to visit my friend. You knew so much...I couldn't let you leave with that information. I separated myself from the version of me you knew."_

_"First of all,_  rude,  _second of all, why didn't you just look in my head for the information you want now?" I asked him. His face pinched and he glared at me. I smirked at him. "Oh, because you didn't think of it!" I laughed. "And you can't look into my head again, for whatever reason."_

_"So you assume," he smirked._

_"No, I_ know,"  _I winked at him. "If you_ could  _look into my mind, you would have just done it. And don't try to give me that whole 'I was just being polite' shit either because you already_ did  _it."_

_He was frowning deeply._

_"I'm also going to guess that you're that wolf who was hanging out with Wisdom. So maybe you can only mind read when you're in that form. Or....or you can only see the shit that directly pertains to you in my head. But you erased yourself from my memories. So you don't have any access to my head." I watched his face shift to one of angry denial. "I'm going to guess that I got it."_

_"Answer me, brat!" He demanded._

_"How about a bit of quid pro quo, hm?"  I tilted my head to the side, a slow smile stretching over my face. "See, I just got the shit kicked out of me by some Templars. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've been outclassed. I get the feeling that they're going to kill me. I like being alive, for the most part," I said with a shrug. "If you save me I'll owe you one."_

_He looked at me with interest before a wicked smile crossing his face. He held out his hand. His nails were manicured to sharp points, with black paint on each nail. "Very well, brat, I'll take you up on that offer."_

_I looked at him suspiciously, raising my eyebrows. "What do you want?" I asked._

_"I haven't decided yet," he answered._

_I sighed and rubbed my temples. I really didn't have a choice. I grabbed his hand and blue fire exploded between our hands, binding us together for a moment. I looked up at watched the light of the flames dance against the man's cheeks. His smile was wide and wild. "Well, now what?" I asked._

_He grabbed me roughly by the upper arm and I felt myself slip away, out of the Fade._

* * *

I woke up to the sounds of screams. I struggled, feeling rope tied tightly around my wrists. I got to my knees and saw that there were seven elves who were attacking from the trees, slaughtering the Templars that were trying to fend them off. One of the attackers lit a soldier on fire. She rounded on me, curiosity burning in her eyes. I looked around in panic and saw that one of the elves had stabbed Maxwell through the chest with his own sword, leaving him lay in his own blood. We were all  _fucked,_ royally fucked. I felt like the entire world was closing in around me. "W-wait!" I gasped, struggling to my feet. "If that man dies, the world will die with him!" I yelled when I caught the attention of one of the elves. 

He walked up to me and grabbed the sleeve of my right arm, and ripped it off. I gasped when I saw that new tattoo, printed on my bicep. The black figure of a wolf with its mouth open, ready to attack. "That's new..." I gasped. 

The man stepped away from me and nodded to a young woman. She kneeled by Maxwell, ripping the sword from his chest, and using her hands to heal the wound. The man looked back at me. "You have been blessed by Fen'Harel." 

"Say what now?" I asked, feeling a headache. I knew that name...knew that person. But I couldn't remember how. The words 'dread wolf' and 'traitor' flashed through my head.

He called to us while we slept, and told us to save you. Were you with the travelling company we saw a few miles back?" He asked. 

"Yeah, probably," I said with a shrug. "These Templars attacked us. Were there any survivors?" I asked. 

"No, there was not." He didn't bother to offer me any condolences. "We have orders to take you wherever you were travelling." 

"Oh...cool...I'm heading to Val Royeaux." I stumbled when the man grabbed my hands and cut the ropes. "I need to get a letter there, let the person I'm staying with know that I'm alive." 

The man nodded. "Do as you need too."  

"Thanks?"  

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?  


	10. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments keep me going.
> 
> Do you think this story is fast paced enough? What do you wish you could see more of in this story?

**9:33**

_Adam,_

_So, it's been a rough few weeks, let's just leave it at that. I'm alive, I'm unhurt, and for the most part totally okay. Anyways, I've been travelling with this elven man who saved me. He won't tell me his name. It took us two weeks to get to a village where I could find a raven to send a message, otherwise, I would have written to you sooner. I'm so sorry if I made you worry. This letter will take a week to reach you. I'll follow behind it and should be there within ten days._

~~_-Cicuta_ ~~

_-Ashara_

_PS. I finally got a real name. Can you believe that?_

* * *

I watched the raven fly away with my letter and sat back on a tree stump. My guardian was watching me, his yellow eyes not even trying to hide their annoyance. "There's nothing wrong with taking a break," I said defensively. 

"We must go, I don't want to be in this village any longer than necessary." 

I sighed and dragged myself to my feet. It'd been a rough two weeks, it really had. I had gone back to where the Templars had slaughtered my travelling companions, and like the elves had told me, there were no survivors. I hadn't found Jeremiah's body, but I had the feeling that he hadn't gotten far enough away to really escape. I had excused myself for a day and sat under a tree, silent tears running out of my eyes. 

There were so many of them, how far had he gotten? I'd known him for such a short amount of time, but he meant  _something_ to me in that short time. Maybe it was just a crush, maybe it was an innocence that I'd never known in this world. He was bright, open, and so very naive. My guardian hadn't understood why I was shedding tears for a human. 

 _I_ wasn't really sure why I was shedding tears for a human. For  _anyone._ I didn't even know that I had the ability to cry for others. It was shocking, the depths of which emotion still ran within me. But eventually, I had to pick myself up and continue on the road. Just like I had to do now. 

My companion and I walked silently side by side. He had a hand on the hilt of his sword at all times, ready to do battle at a moments notice. I walked next to him, swinging my arms back and forth. I was humming a song quietly. I wished that I had my lute with me, but I'd found it smashed to bits among the rubble of my companions. The elven man shot me an annoyed glower and I smiled, increasing my volume. 

" _We are two mariners, our ships sole survivors  
In this belly of a whale.   
_Its _ribs are ceiling beams_  
Its _guts are carpeting_  
_I guess we have some time to kill-"_

"Quiet!" The man snapped, grabbing my shoulder roughly. "Do you want us to be found?" He demanded. 

"By who, exactly?" I asked, throwing my hands up in the air. I spun around a few times. 

He was silent, looking down at me with an irritated frown, hand still on the hilt of his sword. "You must be far more careful, or you might find yourself at the other end of a knife." 

I looked up at him with a smirk, crossing my arms behind my back. "That's an interesting turn of phrase, stranger," I said. He looked at me strangely from the corner of his eye. "I can assure you, friend, I am always exactly on the side of the knife I want to be." 

* * *

_"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream," I hummed quietly, weaving a crown of flowers for Curiosity. It'd been strangely quiet since I entered my dream. Hadn't said a single word, hadn't asked a single question. "Is there something wrong, love?" I asked it._

_It looked up, startled, and shook its head. It turned its face away from me, gazing down at the grass. "You make such strange creations," it said with a sad smile. "You have a boundless imagination, I very much admire that."_

_"Well...thank you?" I rested my hands on my lap. "Are you_ sure  _there isn't something you need to get off your chest?" I asked._

_It tensed up and slowly turned around. Its eyes darted around the area before it leaned in closer. "Why did you make that deal?" It asked, its voice a strained whisper. "You didn't need him, you could have freed yourself."_

_I shrugged. "I made a deal that I have to give him some information, it's not a big deal."_

_Curiosity shook its head, eyes wide with fear. "He didn't specify the terms of your agreement!" It argued. "But you agreed anyways," it said and sighed, irritated. "You've been 'blessed,'" it growled, adding air quotes, voice wavering with disgust._

_"What does that mean?" I asked Curiosity._

_"It means that his agents will protect you until the time for him to call on you comes. When you are blessed by the Dread Wolf, he has a plan for you. He weaves the strings of your fate to suit his needs," it reached up and touched my face gently. "He could possess your body, or order you to murder someone or a_  lot  _of someones. When he comes to give you your commandments, you'll have no choice but to follow. Your spirit will allow you to do no different."_

_I looked at it with wide eyes. "N-no!" I stood up and grabbed my hair. "FUCK!" I rubbed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing under control. "I want out!"_

_It closed its eyes and looked down at the ground, shaking its head. "There is no out, this contract in binding."_

_"Shit! Shit! What do I do?!" I asked, desperation clinging to my being._

_"There's nothing you_  can  _do, other than wait until he decides what he wants from you."_

_I dropped to my knees and pushed my face into the grass. "Gods damn it! Why is the entire world trying to fuck me over!" I sat up and screamed angrily. "What if I killed him?" I asked curiously._

_"You cannot," it said, pity thick in its voice. "The Dread Wolf has marked you, you are his, your body would not allow you to kill him."_

_"I can't fucking handle this right now!" I growled, throwing my hands up in the air. "Can't one thing just be_ easy  _for me?!"_

_Curiosity put a hand on my shoulder, before slowly wrapping me in its light. "You aren't alone, we're here for you."  It rubbed my back, pressing me tight against its body. "No matter what happens, we're right here for you."_

_I held my fist against my mouth, blinking rapidly. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning forward. "Okay," I breathed, moving my hand lower and touching my chest. "Alright, I can work around this." I was nodding quickly. I touched my head. "He said he erased my memories of him...is there a way to get them back?" I asked Curiosity._

_It thought for a moment before nodding slowly. "Yes, a few ways," it drew a few runes in the mud. "You could overpower his magic with your own, but that would take a_ long  _time. Longer than you even have to live. Another way is to use blood magic. If you find him, the real him, and get some of his blood you could use it to reverse the process. Or you could simply search for the memories in the Fade. There must have been a_ few  _spirits that have felt your memories and could repeat them back to you."_

_"That's fantastic...but where do I start?" I asked._

_"I don't have the foggiest idea."_

_We sat in silence for a few seconds. "It's a big place," I said, looking at the barrier of my safe world. "Anything could happen if I leave."_

_"Yeah, anything really_ could  _happen," it agreed._

_"Alright...well...let's go look for my lost memories then."_

* * *

Grumpy was making  _me_ grumpy. He kept pushing me when I'd slow down my walk, hand between my shoulder blades. We were still four hours outside of Val Royeaux, and he was just as sick of seeing me as I was of seeing him. I was ready to smack him if he pushed me again. I made sure that I was walking quickly enough that he wouldn't get irritated at me again. The journey was finally almost at an end, and I was ready. I'd never seen the city in real life before, my only image the sprawling community painted in gaudy golds and blissful blues. Adam would be waiting for me, my safety was assured for one, maybe Salladin would be waiting with him.  

Salladin had two three-year-old sons that I'd never been able to meet. I believe they were named  Fenesvir and Fen’nas. I was also unable to make it to their wedding. I'd missed so much of their lives, only having second-hand accounts of how things were. They both sounded excited to see me again, but I wondered if it would be a little awkward. I hoped not. 

"So is it  _me_ personally that you have an issue with?" I asked Grumpy. 

The older elf huffed and rolled his eyes. "Not you in particular. Just  _all_ children." 

It was my turn to roll my eyes. I didn't bother to argue with him. I  _was_ a child to him. Because I  _was_ a child, or something like that, anyway. I crossed my eyes and we said nothing to each other for the rest of the journey. Three miles outside the city, he left me to finish my walk alone. 

When I finally reached the city, Adam was there waiting for me at the gates, shifting from foot to foot. I called his name and he perked up with a bright grin when he heard my voice. I ran towards him and threw myself into his arms, the weight of everything that had happened settling in my stomach. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.

I was struck by how much he'd changed. Gone was the awkward, lanky, boy who had a beautiful voice. Now before me stood a man that was easily six feet tall, with muscled arms, and stubble on his face. If this was _his_ glow up, I wondered what Salladin looked like now. He pulled away from me and smiled happily, looking at my face. "I'm so glad to see you're safe," he said with a grin. 

I snorted and pulled away. "Was there ever any doubt?" I asked him, putting my hands on my hips. I tossed my long black hair behind my shoulder. "I'm kind of the best, Adam, no way a few rouge Templars can take me down." 

"Rouge Templars?" He asked in alarm, eyes widening. 

I sighed and shook my head. "I'll tell you later," I promised, waving a dismissive hand. I straightened up and smiled. "So...now what?" I asked him. 

"Tonight, Salladin will be coming to my home... _our_ home with his family. We'll have dinner and catch up on everything we've missed out on. Then tomorrow...I managed to book you an  _important_ job. But I'll tell you about that in the morning, deal?" 

I nodded, a smile widening on my face. He offered me his arm and I took it. He led me through the city, indulging me when I asked him a thousand questions. His home was a humble abode with two stories. Compared to the rest of the city, it was plain, but he seemed perfectly happy with it. The floors were a dark redwood, and the walls were a light beige. Everything about it just so soothing, that I felt my entire body relax when I entered inside. 

There were two people speaking enthusiastically in the kitchen. Adam led me there with a wave of his hand. I followed behind him and he ducked his head inside the kitchen, a big grin on his face. "Hey, guys! Look what the cat dragged in!" Then he took me by the shoulder and pushed me into the room. 

I caught sight of Salladin first. Much like Adam, he'd grown up. His jaw was sharp and angular like he could cut a bitch, just by turning his head quickly. He was also well muscled, but he was much more slender than Adam was. His hair was long, reaching down to his elbows, braided, and threaded with a silver chain. He had four piercings in his right ear and a single gold hoop in the left. 

Holy shit, did he GLOW up. 

I closed my mouth and walked further into the kitchen. "It's been a long time," I said, blinking rapidly. 

He smirked and rested his hand on top of my head. "You've grown up," he said, fondness in his eyes. " 

"Thanks!" 

He introduced me to his wife. Her name was Julia, she grew up in Val Royeaux's alienage. She married Salladin and the two of them moved to the outskirts of the city, near the docks. They got trouble from time to time, but Salladin was more than capable to take care of them. As we sat around the table, talking about what we'd all been doing for the past few years, I felt like I'd really come home. 

* * *

Adam stormed into my room the next afternoon, determination written on his face. I looked at him in surprise, clutching the book I'd been reading to my chest. "What's going on?" I asked him. 

“We don’t have much time to talk, I know you must be exhausted from your journey, but you’ll be performing at Duke Gaspard’s gala tonight. You must prepare at once!” He said. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me out of bed. He threw a dress into my arms and handed me a small leather bag. "Here, I have no idea how to do makeup...other than basic cole around the eyes. I hope you've got some skill." 

“ _ Whoah,  _ hold up, what's going on?" I asked, taking the items he was hurriedly thrusting into my arms. It took a while to connect the familiar name to my past.  Gaspard,  _ that guy?  _ Seriously?! 

“Yes, he has a... _ task  _ for you tonight, I’ll give you the details while you’re getting dressed.”

While I was putting on the dress he got for me, he sat outside my door, reading off the written instructions that the Duke had written for me. There was a man I was being paid to kill. The assassination would require skill, flair, and subtlety. 

I was going to kill a man because he used the wrong soup spoon at Gaspard’s last dinner party. I was expressly instructed to kill him with the _correct_ spoon. I snorted when I heard such a ridiculous request. Adam chuckled from behind the door. “It’s Orlais, you’re going to get a lot of this kind of thing, now do you have songs prepared? Generally, Orlesian nobility enjoy love songs and songs about tragedy or glorious battles.” 

“ _ Boring,”  _ I groaned. “But yes, I do have plenty of those songs.” I pulled the last of the straps around my [dress](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/380835712219103274/) in the back. It was fittingly gaudy for an Orlaisian duke's party. 

Adam walked into my room and handed me a [mask](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/280067670560212572/) and a pair of [shoes](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/425168021047053578/). “Good to hear,” his face turned suddenly very serious. “Now, I don’t need to tell you how important it is that you learn to play the game and  _ fast.”  _

I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ve been practising since I was three years old,” I assured him with a smile. “I’ve got it, the most important rule is not to show your hand, and never show you know your opponents. Always be on your guard.”    

“One more thing,” I saw Adam grin at me and I felt something cold in my stomach. “You  _ are  _ staying in my house free of charge...it’d be kind of you to help pay the bills.” 

“You get 10%, not a copper more," I said, crossing my arms. 

“I’ll accept that.” He opened the door and nodded to a servant, beckoning her into the room, she rushed forward with a beautiful white lute. “You need to act the part, take this.” 

I looked it over, feeling the smooth wood under my hands. It had gold flowers painted on the sides. “Thank you, Adam,” I said. My other lute was gone, trampled to pieces under the hooves of horses that were chasing us down. 

“Thank me when you get out of this mess alive.” He paused for a moment, sucking in a breath. “You  _ do  _ know how to speak Orlesian? Right?” He asked, slight panic in his eyes. 

“Yes, Lucio taught me to speak almost every language in Thedas," I said. "Except for Elvhen,” I added as an afterthought. 

He let out a breath. “Thank the Maker.” 

* * *

 

The Duke’s home was the most disgustingly expensive thing I’d ever seen in my entire life. And I was from _Antiva._ The damned cobblestone was lined with  _ silver.  _ One of the many servants was there to greet me and told me to follow him to the Duke's study. The Duke was at his desk, writing stupid important letters.

“You must be, Cicuta,” the man said, standing and holding out his hand out to me. I took it and curtsied slightly. I heard him chuckle and he kissed the top of my hand with his moustachioed lips. It felt weird. 

“Yes, your highness, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

“The pleasure is all mine, I assure you.” He took me by the arm and led me from the room. “I am so very excited to see your abilities.  Monsieur Dubois spoke very highly of you. I trust his faith wasn’t misplaced?”

“I suppose you will have to wait and see, your highness.” 

He laughed quietly and pat my hand gently. He led me to the ballroom, and let go of my arm. The party was already in full swing. The duke pointed subtly to a man on the other side of the hall. That was the only information I was given before he left me with a nod of his head. I sat on the stage, where the spot had been provided for me. A few of the nobles turned to look at me, but for the most part, they were still wrapped up in their conversations. 

I started playing a little bit of Greensleeves, humming the tune as I strummed the new lute I'd been given. She sounded as beautiful as she looked. I closed my eyes as the mournful tune poured from my lips. 

When the song was over, most of the room was clapping for me. I took a few requests from nobles who were brave enough to ask me to play for them. Despite their prissy clothes, the nobles of Orlais loved to dance. I showed the band my sheet music, and we gave them a performance to remember. When I was finished I was told I was allowed to do as I pleased, and enjoy the party. I noticed my target was leaving, and I followed him after asking a servant where the bathroom was, loud enough for the other nobles in the room to hear me if they were listening in. 

As it turned out, he had been waiting for me. I rounded the corner and he suddenly pushed me against a wall.  “My lord?” I asked him, looking up at him in shock. 

“I saw you, little rabbit, follow after me,” He whispered in my ear, pulling at the strap of my dress, that cinched my waist.

“My lord, I was simply looking for the bathroom,” I told him. 

He chuckled quietly, kissing my neck. “Of course, little one,” 

“Sir, I’m only 14,” I tried again, pushing at his chest. 

“Age is but a number, little thing.” 

I felt disgust swelling up in my chest. I could feel the spoon strapped to my inner thigh. I used my magic to silence him, he seemed surprised, but when I started to roll up up the hem of my dress, a grin spread over his face, until I pulled the spoon out. His eyes widened in fear when he realized what was happening. He turned and tried to run, but I tripped him. We were standing on a balcony. We were hidden behind a pillar, but it gave me an idea. I shoved the spoon into his mouth and pushed him over the edge. I heard a thud, a squelch, then a scream.  

I found the bathroom and waited in there for another few minutes before making my way out. I caught the Duke’s eyes and he nodded in approval. It was actually kind of a boring job, now that it was over. The Duke paid me 400 royals at the end of the night. 

* * *

When I was safely back in Adam’s house he was waiting for me in his study, nervously drumming his fingers on the desk. When I stumbled home, exhaustion clear on my face, he smiled and hugged me. I paid him the 40 coins I owed him and reported on the mission.

“Before you leave, I have another gift for you,” he said, reaching into his desk. He handed me and book and I looked at it in shock. “It’s all the rage in court, at the moment.” 

“Hard in Hightown by Varric Tethras,” I said, running my fingers over the title, a slight smile forming on my lips. “Yeah, I might have heard something about this.” 

This was Varric's break out book before he wrote 'Tales of the Champion.' Varric’s book was a real thing. A real, tangible thing that I was holding in my hands. I blinked a few time and turned away from Adam. “Sorry...I gotta go read this, thank you!” 

“You’re welcome, little sister!” I could hear the smile in his voice. 

* * *

_ They say coin never sleeps, but anyone who’s walked the patrol of Hightown Market at midnight might disagree. The pickpockets and confidence men head to the taverns at dusk, the dwarven businessmen and nobles go back to their tiny palaces to fret over the ways they got cheated, and the market falls silent. Donnen Brennokovic knew every angle of the market with his eyes closed. Twenty years of patrols had etched it into him so that he walked that beat even in his dreams. The recruit, Jevlan, was another story. The ring of steel striking stone told Donnen that the kid had stumbled into a column again. His new armor would be full of dents by sunrise. “Torches would make this easier.”  _

_ The sound of Jevlan hauling himself off the pavement was like a tinker’s cart crashing. “Torches make you night-blind. You’ll adjust.” Donnen crossed the square to help the kid to his feet. A breeze scurried across the plaza, sending the banners and pennants shivering and carrying an old, familiar scent. Donnen stopped in his tracks. “ _

_ Something’s wrong.” His voice was low, warning. He peered into the dark, up at the mezzanine just above them. “Follow me. Be ready for trouble.” The two guards climbed the dark stairs and there, in a puddle of shadow, found the body. Gold-trimmed satin glittered through the blood. “ _

_ Get the captain,” Donnen sighed. “We’ve got a dead magistrate.”   _

“M’lady, I think you should go to bed.” A soft voice said, opening the door to my room. 

“Yes, I guess you’re right,” I bookmarked my place and pulled back the covers of my bed. Pixie nodded and wished me a good night. “Hey, what’s your name?” 

She chuckled. “Ellira, m’lady.” 

“Goodnight, Ellira.”  


	11. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just a bit of a heads up on what's happening ATM. So this is almost the end of part two. Part three will only have two or three chapters (It'll be really short, focusing around the years the Mage rebellion takes place) then part four will be the beginning of Inquisition!

**9:34**

_It'd been an entire year and I had found nothing of my old memories. Fen'Harel had locked them up tightly somewhere. Curiosity suspected he'd anticipate that I wouldn't just sit around waiting for something to happen. I was much more proactive than that. I walked through the Fade on my own that night, swishing the smog away from me as I walked in a straight path. I was looking for a spirit that had known the OG furry back in the days where the ancient elves roamed the land. Unfortunately, that was easier said than done._ **  
**

_I stopped when I heard an agonized scream come from somewhere in the fog. I turned around and walked in the opposite direction, trying to block it out. As much as I would have_ loved  _to help, I didn't trust whatever that was not to attack me. The Fade, however, ignored my wishes. I found myself standing before a beautiful elvhen woman, with long silver hair and dark purple skin. She was sobbing, bound head to toe in chains. "Well_  fuck,"  _I growled, already trying to back away. But I couldn't. Something was preventing me from getting very far. I sighed and turned around. "Alright, which one are you?" I asked her._

_She looked up, shocked by my voice. She opened and closed her mouth a few times. "I...I am Sylaise, keeper of the hearth," she said, at last, her voice tinkling like bells. "Please tell me, child, where am I? What has happened to me? Why am I here?" She asked._

_She wasn't acting like the others did, instantly trying to claw my soul from my body. I hummed and summoned a chair, sitting across from her. "Fen'Harel sealed you all away," I said with a shrug. "You're all in elf prison."_

_She looked startled. "But this cannot be..." she blinked and looked around the empty space. "What was it that I have done, to earn my brother's wrath?" She asked, suddenly growing agitated._

_"You all...kill Mythal. A crime he thought only an eternity of suffering would be a fitting punishment." I shrugged and looked down at her with pity. "Then there was the whole 'enslaving your people' thing, that he just couldn't jibe with. Which...fair enough, right?"_

_She glared at me, casting her eyes away from me. "We put them in chains because they couldn't take care of themselves. We were doing them a kindness."_

_I snorted and stood from my chair._ "Right,  _and I'm the fucking queen of England." I rolled my shoulders and stretched my arms above my head. I looked down at her and sneered. "You're no god, your a selfish child who takes more than her share, stay here and_ rot."  _I waved my fingers at her, before turning and walking out of the realm that was keeping her prisoner._

_When I made my way back to my own little world, I was struck by the fact that this was the first time since seeing these false gods that I managed to escape without a fight. "Progress?" I asked myself, sitting at my glass crystal table. A cup of Earl Grey tea appeared in front of me. I sighed happily and took a sip. My hunt would have to continue the next night._

_ I thought about my interaction with Sylaise. How did I know that Fen'harel had freed the slaves? How did I know that he locked the false gods away for killing Mythal? I closed my eyes and thought about it. I remembered...the games. I remembered that Fen'Harel was in Dragon Age Inquisition. I remembered...Trespasser, where Fen'Harel's true origins  were uncovered.  So I still had those memories, but I had no idea how they connected in the grand scheme of things.  _

* * *

I was running late. The party was starting to wind down and I needed to find my target,  _yesterday._ I walked through the halls of the manor house, knife clutched in hand. I could hear him running away, crashing into the walls, crying out for help that wouldn't come. My poison was already starting to do its job. It should have worked seconds after he drank it, but it seemed he had a higher immunity than most did. I found him collapsed and crawling towards a door in the hall. “Alright buddy, time’s up,” I said to him.

“It is indeed!” A cheerful voice said. I turned around and saw a young woman with a knife clutched in her hand. She rushed at me, knocking me into the wall, raising the knife over her head. I managed to roll away, but not before she slashed my shoulder.  I hissed in pain, before turning and punching her in the jaw.

She fell backwards and I jumped on her, pinning her arms down with my knees. I smirked at her, feeling her trying to buck me off. If I stalled any longer she’d throw me off her. I slit her throat, watching the blood drain from her neck. She gathered the last of her strength and pushed me off, stabbing me in the side. I yelped in pain and watched her bleed to death. She didn’t pull it out of my side before she died, thank whatever gods were out there. I used my knife to finish off my target, who was still clawing at the carpet.

I opened a window and climbed out onto the veranda. I doubled over onto my hands and knees, huffing quietly. Getting stabbed hurt _._ I managed to pull myself up and walk out of the estate without anyone seeing me.

I got all the way to the centre of town before collapsing in an alleyway. I sat again a wall and took a few deep breaths. I grabbed the hilt of the knife and pulled it out, swallowing my own scream. I pressed my hand against the wound and focused my magic on healing it. I sighed with relief as I felt my flesh starting to stitch itself back together.

“ _YOU THERE!”_ A voice yelled at me, and I looked up in surprise as a fucking Templar walked into the alley.     

I looked up at the sky and glared. “Seriously, dude?” I turned back to the Templar, already starting to stand up. “Look, it isn’t what it looks like I was-”

He pulled his sword out and pointed it at me, hate burning in his eyes. I sighed and shook my head. I reached for his string but… I couldn’t find it. Just like Maxwell. “Your magic won’t work on me, wicked apostate!” He snarled and he rushed at me, ready to kill.

I jumped back as he slashed downwards, but he followed quickly, moving his sword up, cutting me across the face. I yelped as blood started to blind my left eye. I wiped the blood away and threw myself down onto the cobblestone floor. When I got to my feet he swung again, hitting me in the shoulder, leaving a wicked slash, almost cutting all the way to the bone. 

He was so fast, I was already out of breath, and _very_ injured, but he came at me one strike after the other. It didn’t help that we were in such a tight space. I pulled out my knife and slashed at his hand, but he smacked it away from me and kneed me in the stomach.

I fell to my knees and started vomiting. I looked up at him, his sword raised to deliver a killing blow. My eyes widened and I stuck my hand out. “ _Then Burn!”_ I snarled. He screamed as he burst into flames. I watched in horror as his armor melted onto his skin. His skin blackened as he was consumed. And the  _smell._ He threw himself against the two walls that caged us both. I could hear yelling and saw torches approaching us. I turned and ran as fast as I could, with blood dripping down my arm.

I could hear people following after me, and a bell ringing loudly. “Shit!” I thought that maybe Maxwell's place in the universe had excused him from my 'cure all' death move, but I got the feeling that might have just been a Templar ability. Not that I had any time to think about it when there were angry men chasing after me with big swords. 

I slowly made my way into an abandoned house and slid down the wall, huffing a few times. I sat very still for a moment to heal my shoulder. My hands shook, covered in my blood. "This went...really fucking badly," I grunted, feeling the skin of my shoulder knitting back together. I let out a breath of relief when the bleeding stopped. I stood up slowly, groaning when the lightheadedness hit me full force. I leaned against a wall. I stayed in that position until I heard boots hammering against the stone streets. I ran outside of the house and jumped over a wall, landing in a crouched position in some dirt. I heard someone gasp and I spun around.

An Elvhen woman looked at me with wide eyes. “Please don’t scream,” I begged her, holding my hands up.

“Are you okay?” She whispered to me. I looked down and saw that my entire shirt was covered in blood. I reached up and touched my face when I felt blood drip into my slightly open mouth. The large gash was still there, but the blood flow was slowing.

“I’ve...been through a lot,” I said with a chuckle.

She held out her hand to me. “Come on then, I’ll have a bed for you, then you can get to wherever you’re going in the morning. Let me have a look at that nasty cut on your face.”

I sighed and nodded. “Thank you, ma’am.”

She led me further into the dark area. There were lights in windows, illuminating the rundown shacks that these people were forced to live in. A high wall stretched so far up that you couldn’t see the moon. There were people sleeping in the dirt, smelling awful. Some looked dead, their eyes looking up in glossy horror. The only thing slightly redeemable about the shit show we trudged through, was a tree in the middle of the town, decorated with glowing lights.

“In here,” the woman said, opening a door that was barely holding its hinges together. She led me into a secluded spot behind a tattered curtain and gestured to a ragged bedroll. “Lay down, I’ll go get you something to clean up with.”

I sat against the wall, crossing my legs and relaxing. I wanted to trust her, but trust was for fools, and I didn’t consider myself to be a fool. She returned with a bucket of water and a rag. It didn’t look very clean, but I thanked her and accepted the help anyways.

I dabbed the wet rag against my face, subtly weaving magic into my hands so the bleeding would stop. I hadn’t healed it in time to stop scar tissue from forming, and I hardly had enough mana left to do the small work that I did. “Thank you.” I smiled at her when the cut had been fixed up. “I won’t trouble you any longer, I will be on my way,”

“Are those bells for you?” The woman asked. I didn’t answer and she shook her head. “Very well, make sure the guards don’t see you leaving our Alienage.”

“Of course, thank you again, ma’am.”

* * *

I stumbled back into Adam’s house just as the sun was starting to rise. He and Salladin were yelling loudly at one another in Adam’s study. Something was thrown against the wall, and one of the men let out an angered yell.

“She’s _missing,_ not dead, you must calm yourself, brother!” Salladin said.

“The Templars were looking for her after she set _a man on fire!_ They’re looking for her! If she felt the need to use her magic so openly, she must have already been hurt! We need to go looking for her!” Adam shouted back.

“She is a resourceful young woman, she will be fine. If you’re out looking for her, the Templars will be suspicious.”

“Or,” I said, causing them both to jump and round on me. I smiled when I saw them. “Maybe she’s fine, and couldn’t get back to you as quick as she was hoping.”

Adam walked around his desk and stood in front of me. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before he sighed and rested his hands on my shoulder, squeezing them gently. “Where were you?”

“Running from the Templars. I was hurt by another Bard while I was on my mission, so I had to heal myself. One of them was on patrol and he saw me. I couldn’t do my...you know the thing, and he got me in the shoulder. So I lit him on fire and ran before I bled out.”

“And this?” He asked, touching the fresh scar.

“He got me pretty good. I didn’t have enough mana to heal my face and my shoulder. So I figured….a little mark on the face or living long enough to see the next sunrise. Simple choice.”

“Did anyone else see you?” He asked me.

“No,” I said, but stopped. “Wait, a woman in the Alienage helped me clean up my wound.”  

He sighed and looked back at Salladin who nodded tensely. “Sister…Ashara” the Elvhen man said, walking towards me slowly. “I know that this is not what you want… but the woman who helped you is a threat.”

I looked up at him in alarm. “You want me to kill her?” I asked, my voice cracking. “But… all she did was help me.”

“I know,” Salladin said. “I can do it, if you would like, just point me in the right direction.”

I looked down at my feet and shook my head. “No, if it must be done, then I will do it.”

“Very good, sister.”

“You may leave tonight, but I want you to rest,” Adam said, leading me out of the study. “You’ve been through quite the ordeal, and it would greatly put my mind to rest if you would just take a bath and then go to sleep for a few hours.”

“Sure, I think I can handle that,” I said with a small smile.

I walked up the stairs, giving Ellira a quick nod. She’d drawn a bath for me and had laid out my night things. I peeled off my bloody clothes and slipped into the tub sighing in joy when I felt the hot water loosen my stiff muscles.

I grabbed the washcloth and the bar of soap that was waiting for me. I watched in fascination as the water turned coppery brown. I’d killed three people the night before. Then I’d have to take another life. I guess that’s what happens when you aren’t more careful. I should have taken the target into a separate room. But I’d wanted to get back home to read the new ‘Varric Tethras’ original that Adam had gotten for me. Oh well, lesson learned.

 _‘What a startling thing to think,’_ I thought, tilting my head to the side. ‘ _If I had heard someone say something like that in the other world, I would think they were a monster. I mean, I’m different now, and I guess I feel kind of guilty about having to kill that woman but I’ll get over it. I won’t even hesitate. I’m mostly angry that I wasted so much time.’_ I slipped my head under the bathwater and blew bubbles. _‘Does that mean I’m a bad person? That I’m a_ bad guy? _Why don’t I care? How many people have I killed since I’ve been in the city? Like...at least thirty….no, more like forty. That’s kind of a lot of people. Now the blood just runs off me. The first time I killed in this world, I didn’t even feel bad. Did Lucio really mess me up that badly?’_

I pulled my head out of the bloody water and greedily sucked in air. I looked up at the light blue ceiling. The sun was starting to peek through the curtains. I climbed out of the tub, wringing my black hair out and sighing. “I don’t really care. I’m me now, right?” I asked no one in particular. “And this me is a killer.”

I pulled my nightgown on. I grabbed my dirty clothes, and put them in the laundry chute, making sure to grab all my weapons. I walked through the carpeted hallway and ducked into my room. Adam had let me decorate it how I wanted. I loved lighter pastel colors, always had, and had painted my walls a light periwinkle. My bed sheets and the duvet were a cheerful pink. My pillows were the same pink and a slightly darker purple. The wood floors were a light brown and had a calming yellow rug under my desk. It’d cost a fortune, but I’d paid it with my own money. A project of love that I was proud of.

I laid down on my comfortable bed and closed my eyes, quickly drifting off into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

I walked through the main market of Val Royeaux with a basket meant for food and a bag of coins hanging off of my wrist. My mask was fit to the top half of my face. The same mask I had worn to the Duke’s party.

I greeted Barnabus when he caught my eye. I walked over to his stall, looking over the clothes he had. Adam needed new shoes. “You wouldn’t happen to have Antivan leather, would you?” I asked him.

“It just so happens, that I do,” the man said. He reached down and pulled a crate out from under the table. “What does my lady wish?” He asked, rubbing his hands together. He was shifting from foot to foot, trying very hard not to twitch. How would this merchant recognize me? I suppose it wasn’t too outlandish that he might have been invited to some gathering and heard about me. He would have to be very successful if he had Antivan leather.

Also, I was one of five Elvhen bards in the entire city. Four now, after I’d dealt with my opponent three weeks ago. My skin tone and Antivan accent also would have told him _which_ Elvhen bard I was. Not that anyone could _prove_ I had done anything but play beautiful music at those parties.  

“Boots for a man, about eleven inches long,” I told him.

He searched through the crate and pulled out three pairs. One black, one a light brown, the other a mix of metal and leather. I looked over the black boots, rubbing the leather between my fingers. “These were made by the crafter Inigo Montoya, they are of the finest quality.”

“Yes, I can see that,” I nodded, somewhat impressed. “I’ll give you one royal for all three pairs.” I offered.

“Y-yes, my lady,” he said with a bow.

 _Damn_ , I overpaid then. I reached into my bag and placed the gold coin in his hand. I thanked him and put the boots in my basket.

I loved the Summer Market, but it truly had nothing on Antiva, though it was much cleaner. Actually, Orlais was much cleaner than any place I had ever seen in my life. Not that I’d seen many places in my life. But still.

They didn’t have warm running water, but they did have a sewer system that ran out of the city. The city was also always clean, people being paid out the ass to keep it that way. Everything shined and glittered. Soap, shampoo, perfumes were all readily available to anyone who had the coin. So long as you didn’t live in the Alienage.

I hadn’t been back there since…

I found my feet taking me there and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the large wall that blocked them off from the rest of the city. I must have seemed so out of place. A pretty blue dress and a shining silver mask. A symbol of my wealth and status.

There was a guard standing there and he looked at me like I was dirt under his shoes. Or he looked at my ears first, but when he saw my mask he straightened up. “What do you need?” He asked.

“I am looking for something Elvhen made, that can only be found here, let me through please.”  

He nodded and stepped to the side. I walked through the rusted gate and looked around until I found the small building near the centre of town. I’d been meaning to go there, but I could never quite work up the nerve. I opened the door, and instantly about thirty pairs of hungry eyes turned towards me.

An old woman walked to the front desk, looking at me hesitantly. “I’ve already told you, people,” she said fiercely, pulling out a dagger. “I will not sell these children to the House of Repose!”  

So the Crows did share something with their Brother’s to the south. I smiled at her pleasantly and removed my mask. “You misunderstand,” I laid the bag of coins on the counter. “I simply wish to make a donation.”

She was still giving me that suspicious look, narrowing her eyes. “Take it or don’t, however, these children look like they need something to eat. Will you really deny them that?” I asked, tilting my head to the side. She was silent, but she grabbed the bag of coins off of the counter and tucked it into her dress. I nodded again before leaving the orphanage. I replaced my mask and left the Alienage without any further word.

Adam was not happy that I’d given thirty royals away, but I assured him I’d pay him back, so he didn’t complain too loudly.

* * *

I was with Adam in the courtyard, watching him as he twirled a wooden sword in his hands. He threw it to me, and I caught it. “Very good, you caught it this time,” he said with a smile. He lunged at me and I blocked, he spun around and poked me in the back. “You're dead.”

I attacked him, aiming for the knees. He tripped me, grabbed me by the shirt, and pointed the sword at my neck. “Oh dear, very dead,” he said cheerfully. He pushed me away and circled me a few times. “Let me see your grip,” he demanded.

I turned front face, gripping the wood in one hand, tight enough so I wouldn’t drop it. This… reminded me of something. What was it?

“No, no, _no,_ you are not holding a damn long sword! You’re holding-”

“A needle?” I asked him, a chuckle bubbling up on my lips. Was this my Arya Stark moment? I could live with that.  

I saw a smile stretch across his handsome face as he chuckled wickedly. “Yes, little sister, just so.”

I adjusted my grip, holding it delicately, while still maintaining my grip. He nodded, and the dance continued. He beat me every time, but I was getting quicker with it. He’d been training me with this strange sword art since I’d gotten to the city. _‘You must be swift and subtle_.’ He’d told me.

I slashed at him, aiming for the top of his head. I saw him roll his eyes before smacking me in the stomach with the sword, almost knocking the wind out of me. “So very dead, little one.” He turned his back and I took my chance, but he grabbed me by the wrist, pulled the sword out of my hand, and threw me to the ground.

“A Bard must play many instruments, and must know many dances,” he said, holding out his hand and helping me to my feet. “You are not one built for brute strength, but a small sword will be deadly in your hands.”

“I already have my daggers and my magic, what else is there?” I asked him.

He laughed, smacking me on the back. “You proved two months ago that your magic cannot always save you.”

“But it did, in the end,” I said, remembering the smell of burning flesh.

“Yes, it did, but at what cost? You left four dead when you were ordered to kill only one. Had you a better skill with a knife, it would have only been two deaths. But you were injured. So you used your magic to heal yourself and were caught by a Templar. Weak and still in pain you used what was left of your energy to kill him, which caused the city guard to chase you. Because of that, you sought shelter. Because of this, you had to end the life of a woman who had done no harm to anyone.”

I looked down, feeling a small bubble of shame in my chest. He put a hand on my shoulder and I looked into his serious brown eyes. “If you were a Gray Warden or a soldier, your magic would be invaluable. However, as a Bard, it should truly be your last resort.” He raised an eyebrow. “Do you understand, little sister?” He asked.

I nodded. “Yes, I understand.”


	12. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of part 2!!!! As I said, part 3 will be a little quicker than the other two. It'll be maybe three chapters long. Ahhh, I'm so excited for Inquisition!

**9:34**

Lord Erris Van Braust was a simple man with simple tastes. He'd gathered every resource that he could, to book me to play at his sixty-third name-day party. There was no assassination planned, no espionage, nothing dark or seedy to be heard of. He asked me to play the song he'd written for his wife, but otherwise, he had no special requests. It was a mostly uneventful night.  

I had just finished my set when I saw _them._ A man, with his the sides of his head, shaved down, layered beautifully on top. A work of art, chiselled and sculpted by the gods. A jawline that was sharp enough to end a man’s life. Hands that were calloused from years of hard work, swinging heavy weapons around. And those  _shoulders._ It was too bad that in this world I was only fifteen. He must have been at least twenty years old by that point, maybe even a year or two older.

Standing beside him, garnering many curious stares from the guests of the party. He was muscled enough that I could easily envision him ripping me in half with his bare hands. He had tattoos and scars on almost every visible part of his body. Sharp teeth and sharp horns. A grin as he talked and laughed with his companions. He was missing an eye, covering it with a leather eyepatch. 

A young Elvhen woman with Dalish tattoos, beautiful and so very dangerous looking. Her feet were bare, and she did not wear the same uniform that the two men did. Her hair was white, half of her head shaved. She was holding a drink in her hands and seemed to be trying to ignore anyone who was trying to get close to her. Poor thing. As an elf who frequently attended these gatherings, I truly understood her pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the advantage of my reputation for years of bloodshed.

The young man excused himself from the group and walked over to the dessert table and grabbed a plate full of those little cakes with frosting flowers on them. I took the opportunity and grabbed a glass of white wine. Another cultural difference between Aniva and Orlias. No one looked twice at a child drinking. While in Antiva the drinking age was seventeen.

I leaned against the table and grinned. He wasn't paying any attention to me. “How is a raven like a writing desk?” I asked him.

I saw him stiffen before he turned and looked down at me. Goodness, his eyes were pretty. He looked to his side like he expected me to be talking to someone else. He raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me, little miss?” He asked me, confusion written over his handsome face.

I blushed and giggled softly, covering my mouth with a gloved hand. “It’s a riddle, sir," I said, putting my glass down. "How is a raven like a writing desk?”

“Oh...well, is it because...they both start with that sound?” He asked.

“Nope!” I told him cheerfully. “They are similar because they aren’t the same at all.” I grinned up at him, and I saw that he seemed no less confused. “Perhaps another then? Why was six afraid of seven?”

He chuckled softly. “Not a clue, little lady.”

“ _Because! Seven, eight, nine!”_ I grinned at him and he laughed good-naturedly. I felt the blush crawl up my face and I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Krem!” A deep voice called, walking over to us. The Iron Bull was more… _intimidating_ up close. “Who’s your new friend?” He asked, putting a hand on the young man’s shoulder.

“Oh! This is…” he paused and looked at me.

I did a slight curtsy and smiled at the mercenary, my eyes settling on his teeth. “They call me Cicuta here, but that's just my stage name.” I grinned and straightened my back. "You can call me Ashara." 

I heard the Bull whistle lowly and chuckle darkly. “Yeah, I’ve heard of you,” he said, voice rumbling. “Deadly little thing you are.”

I gasped softly and put a delicate hand to my chest. “Sir, are speaking of me, why I’d never hurt a fly.” I fluttered my eyelashes at him innocently. He scoffed and I saw Krem looking between us with wide eyes. “I am but a simple Bard, trying to make ends meet.”

“You were the one singing?” Krem asked me, a smile spreading over his face. “You were great, you have a very nice voice.”

I was blushing _again. ‘Damn you,’_ I thought. _‘Hide it better. He is just such a damned cutie. A cinnamon bun. But a cinnamon bun who could kill me. A SINamon bun.’_ I tried to erase the blush from my cheeks. “Thank you sir, you do me a great honor.”

“I’m no knight,” he said with a playful wink, almost sending me dead to the floor. “You may call me Krem, if it pleases you, my lady.”

“It does, indeed.” I looked over to the Bull and smiled. “You must be the Iron Bull, I’ve heard of you, you do good work, so I’ve heard.”

He laughed and nodded. “You know what we do?”

“Yes, a mercenary company that comes very highly recommended. Though I do have a question if you don’t mind.”

“Sure, kiddo,” he grinned.

“You are Qunari, aren’t you? Well, I had heard a rumor that the Qunari were Dovahkiin?”

“Dovah...kiin?” He asked me.

“Dragon’s kin, anyway, why didn’t you call yourself the Iron _Dragon?”_

He stopped for a moment. “Damn, that’s way cooler,” he sighed. “That’s a strange word, where did you hear it?” He asked.

“I hear a lot of things, in a lot of places,” I hummed. I looked up Krem and smiled. “It was so very nice to meet you, sir.” I looked back up at Bull. “I will dedicate the next song to you, make sure to listen.” I waved goodbye then made my way quickly through the hall.

“I think that little girl was flirting with me,” Krem said to the Bull.

“You do know that must Bards are spies, right?” The Bull asked. “Be a little more careful.”

I took my seat on the musician's chair and started to strum on my lute. I looked into the crowd and saw the three chargers were watching me. So were most of the party goers. When they heard the upbeat song on my fiddle, they instantly started a simple dance. 

 

_“Our hero, our hero_

_Claims a warrior's heart_

_I tell you, I tell you_

_The Dragonborn comes_

_With a Voice wielding power_

_Of the forgotten arts_

_Believe, believe_

_The Dragonborn comes_

_It's an end to the evil_

_Of all mortals foes_

_Beware, beware_

_The Dragonborn comes_

_For the darkness has passed_

_And the legend yet grows_

_You'll know, you'll know_

_The Dragonborn's come_  

 _A battle, a battle_  
_Brought on dragonwing_  
_Not far, not far_ _  
_ The Dragonborn comes

 _And all shall be measured,_  
_Both peasant and king_  
_I know I know_ _  
_ For the Dragonborn comes

 _Together through snowfall,_  
_And Sorrow we stride_  
_For now, for now_ _  
_ The Dragonborn comes

 _Until we next meet under Sovngarde Skies_  
_Hurrah, hurrah, the Dragonborn comes_ _  
_ I tell you I tell you the Dragonborn comes,

_Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin_

_Wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!_

_Ahrk fin norok paal graan fod nust hon zindro zaan_

_Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!”_

When the song finished, the dancing couples bowed to each other and the nobles in the room clapped politely. I curtsied to them and immediately started up my next song. I looked back at the Chargers and saw the Bull raise a glass to me. I beamed at him and bowed my head slightly. This was a super cool night, even if meeting him face to face was fucking scary. 

* * *

_Another endless night of searching for my memories. I sighed and floated down gently to the ground. It seemed like I now spent about fifty percent of my life in the Fade. I used to be more or less blocked out when I was a little girl, but now...I was so connected to that strange pocket dimension that it was easier to slip in than it was for me to breathe._

_“I want a pizza,” I said, tucking my feet under me. Like always, the Fade would answer. The smell of cheese and bread made my mouth water. I knew it couldn’t really feed me, but in the Fade, I couldn’t really tell the difference. I could still taste it._

_I noticed something was moving in the tree line and frowned. This was a new visitor, I could tell by the way they ducked out of the way when I levelled my gaze on it._

_The spirit poked its head out and looked at me. Was it...afraid?_

_“Don’t worry, no one will hurt you here.”_

_“No one but you,” the spirit said quietly._

_I blinked in surprise. “Well, how about I pinkie promise not to hurt you, then?” I asked holding out my pinkie. The spirit drifted over and hesitantly reached out, and took my pinkie. “See, now would you like to join me for awhile?_

_The spirit sat next to me and looked straight ahead. “Why do you kill people?” It asked. I raised an eyebrow so the spirit continued. “You don’t like it. You like fighting, you like the Game, and you like playing music, but you don’t like to kill people.”_

_“Oh contre, my friend, I love killing people.”_

_“No…” The spirit said, shaking its head. “You don’t. You hate it, a whole lot. But you did it the first time because you thought_ he _would hurt you if you didn’t. Now you kill people because you like money.”_

_“There’s your answer then. I kill people because I like money.”_

_“But you also help people when they need it. You don’t want anyone to see you do it, but you love to help others. Don’t worry though, one day, you’ll be able to help people all the time.”_

_“What do you mean?” I asked._

_“When the sky opens, you’ll help save the world,” the spirit said. I looked at it with wide eyes. “You wanted to avoid it, but you won’t. Someone will come to you, and then, you can become someone better. You’ll even find someone who loves you, if you open up your heart.”_

_“What...are you?” I asked it, feeling apprehension rising up in my stomach._

_“Eventuality.”_

_“You know the future?” I asked. “Wait! Tell me what happens!”_

_“You already know, silly,” it smiled. “But you being here...it’s already changed so much. So the future shifts. Most of the future will be the same, and you can help people. While also making money, if you still want that.”_

_“Yeah, I want that,” I said with a shrug. “I_ guess _saving the world isn’t so bad either.”_

_“You made him bad, the man who will have the Mark. So you should be the one to fix it. He’ll be a lot worse than even what you did while you were him. You did it, so you should make it right.”_

_I flinched slightly and looked away. I'd witnessed first hand what Maxwell was truly like. I remembered Jeramiha...how I prayed he had gotten away, but I wasn't sure. This was one_ hell  _of a punishment._

_“No, not a punishment, a chance to do better. To be better. That man hurt you, broke you, made it so you couldn’t feel. But someone else will put you together again. Now you can make the world a better place.”_

_“_ Alright, _you’ve convinced me,” I told it with a smirk. “It would be pretty interesting to see what happens when I’m there. Like...how will Bull react when he sees me again.”_

_“He was going to kill you if you, you know,” it said frankley._

_“_ What?” _I asked, feeling alarm in my entire body._

_“‘Bards are spies, assassins, I won’t let her hurt Krem.’ That’s what he was thinking.”_

_“No, but I was just flirting with him!"_

_“He didn’t see that. You should explain yourself when you see each other again.”_

_I laughed, throwing my head back. “Oh yes, ‘hello Krem, no I wasn’t trying to kill you, I just thought your face was nice to look at.’”_

_“Yes, that might be perfect actually,” the spirit smiles._

_The two of us sat in silence for a moment and I hummed. I looked over at the spirit when it stood up, drifting away from me. "Where are you going?" I asked it._

_It looked back and smiled, shaking its head. "I have a memory for you if you want it."_

_I stood up and trotted after it. "Yes! Yes, please, give me anything."_

_It reached out and brushed its fingers across my forehead. A vission flashed before my eyes. Nothing of any real substance. All I saw was the jaw of a wolf, hanging around someone's neck._

* * *

It was a shame that Varric didn't write more books about dwarven heroes. The Dasher's Men, the first book he had ever written, was a work of literary genius. It reminded me of A Song of Ice and Fire. It was  _thrilling._ It was also written a year before my new body was born. I placed it on the shelves next to the others. Darktown's Deal, The Viper's Nest, and of course, Hard in Hightown. Then there was also the Swords and Sheilds series, there were only two books so far, but I knew he'd write more eventually. I had to sneak it out of the bookshop. I didn't want anyone knowing that I was reading trashy, smutty, romance novels. The Viper's nest was my favourite and it  _also_ had an Elvhen protagonist. I had so many books, and I dusted them all off with a rag affectionately. They were my pride and joy. Besides my lute, they were my most treasured possessions. 

I looked up when I heard a knocking at my window. There was a raven waiting impatiently for me, a letter tied to its leg. I opened the glass and untied it, It screamed and flew into my room. I opened the wax seal on the letter and sat on my bed, looking at the elegant handwriting. 

_For four hundred and seventy-two days, I wondered after the fate of my saviour. I shall always remember her raven black hair, the way she smiled The sound of her voice as she sang to me, tragic tales.  I shall always remember how I fled from her, like a coward. Leaving her to defend herself against the evil Templar that had attacked us. It was to my greatest relief that I learned she lives._

_After fleeing from her, I joined the mercenaries that were paid to protect us. The Iron Bull. I became a Charger, but I never forgot the young woman who stood against our attackers. Our Lieutenant, Krem, spoke of her. Told us of the little girl who was trying to kill him with her sweet words. A Bard who tried to charm her way into his good graces. For the life of us, we could not understand why she would have been after him. Then he spoke her name. Ashara. A name so familiar to me, that it's etched itself into my permanent memory. So I laughed and told them her story. She's an awkward young thing, so unused to having attractions. There was not a doubt in my mind that she was simply trying to flirt poorly with him._

_Bull loved the song she sang for him, however, he still sees her as a threat. But he trusts me, and that will be the closest he gets to trusting her. He even let me write her this letter. Bards are spies, murderers, great and terrible assassins. It was so hard to picture the girl from my memories like that, but yes, realized it made sense. She held herself like she was waiting for an attack at any moment. She sang so beautifully, it must have been her training._

_I wished to tell this girl that I hold no ill-will for her. I do not blame her for what happened at the caravan. I understand that the Templars weren't looking for mages, so much as they were looking for bloodshed._

_I tried to write her poem after poem about how I was feeling, but so many words could not sum up what I thought. So I leave her with this. I am so glad you live. Forgive me for leaving you._

_-Jeremiah_

I let the letter fall to the ground, and covered my mouth as tears jumped to my eyes. I sniffled and quickly picked it up, reading it a few more times. I looked over at the bird that was waiting patiently on my desk, turning its head from side to side. I wiped my eyes and folded the letter up, and put it between the pages of Hard in Hightown. It'd be safe there. I sat at my desk, and gently pat the bird's head. I laughed a few times, before grabbing a piece of paper, a quill, and ink. 

 _You always did have such a way with words. I admit that I share no such skills. I am glad that you're alive. There is nothing for me to forgive. Tell me about these Chargers when you get the chance. Are they treating you right? Oh, Jeremiah...I'm so sorry that nothing could just be_ easy  _for us. We were just kids trying to make better lives for ourselves._

_Please tell Krem that I was not trying to kill him, I was simply blown away by his manly charm. He's very handsome, and I couldn't help but flirt a little bit, Don't tell him that part. _

- _Ashara._  

I rolled my quick message up and tied it to the bird's leg, letting it fly back out my window. I laid down on my bed, smiling brightly. I hugged a pillow to my chest and kicked my feet back and forth. It was such a relief to know that he somehow survived the ordeal. I laid on my back and laughed cheerfully.  _Finally,_ something was going right for me. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I jumped off of the bed. I went to my bookcase and grabbed Darktown's Deal. It would be a perfect end to a wonderful day. 

The book began as I remembered it. Asalla of the Coterie in Kirkwall was running away from the city guard. She'd been set up by her brother, she knew it. But that was when she met Evan from the Chantry. He was in disguise and helped her get away. He was a vigilante, trying to snuff out the corruption in the city. She'd meet him again in the morning, but he was out of disguise. She wouldn't learn that it was him until chapter thirteen. It was a thriller with a sweet romantic subplot. 

It kind of made me wonder if I could write books. There were a fuck ton of stories from my world that I could borrow from. I wonder how Thedas would react to an Orlisian retelling of Hamlet? That would have been interesting, I'm sure. I guess I could look into writing at some point in my life. Maybe I could even write a musical or something? I'd been trying the break away from only singing songs from my world, and I'd been writing my own. I still hadn't debuted them, but the time was coming soon, and I was excited to see my own creations bare fruit. 

Yeah, I wanted to write a musical.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are your predictions for Inquisition? Tell me, please! I've been dropping hints throughout the story, I want to know if anyone picked up on it. Pretty please do me this solid. 
> 
> One more announcement! Next week is midterms, so I won't be updating next week, but I'll catch y'all the week after that!


	13. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeyyyy yo a new part. This one is going to move a lot faster through timeline events. Then part four will be the beginning of the Inquisition. I'm so super excited you guys! I really hope you like what I have in store for you.
> 
> I'm writing a companion fic to this. It's just a few dribbles from Solas's POV, I'll post it when I have a few chapters written.

**9:37**

_Dear Journal_

_These are dangerous times we’re living in. Ten months ago, the mage, Anders blew the Chantry in Kirkwall sky high and killed over a thousand innocent people in the process. Rumors of what happened afterward state that the Champion Hawke (my Hawke) fought alongside the mages against the Knight-Commander Meredith. Now, the other circles around Thedas have started to fall. More often than not, the circle is annulled, every mage slaughtered by the Templars that had once been tasked with protecting them. Otherwise, the mages rebelled against their oppressors or were abandoned._

_Things here in beautiful Val Royeaux have quickly taken a turn for the worse. It reminds me of the Salem Witch Trials. Just point at your neighbor and accuse them of being a witch, then just stand back and watch as ignorance runs its course. I’ve heard stories of children_ _being dragged out into the streets and slaughtered by Templars. It’s not safe here anymore, hasn’t been for awhile, but now it’s become unbearable. I want to leave, I want to run, I want to be gone from this awful place and back in Antiva._

_The entire southern side of the continent has been consumed by this Mage/Templar war. I see young men and women marching out to battle almost every day. I often think about Maxwell, I wonder what he’s doing. He must be having the time of his life right about now. Is this the man who will save the world?_

_Goodbye for now_

_-Ashara_

* * *

I sat at the seat by a window and watched as two Templars chased down a young woman. The next mage, then? She wouldn't get very far. I turned away and closed the curtains, trying to ignore the cries for help that I could hear from outside, just like everyone else in town would. I let out a shout of surprise when Adam grabbed me by the arms slammed me against the wall, his eyes wild. “You _will not_ use your magic, do you understand me? Not for any reason!”

I looked at his hands and saw they were covered in blood. They were leaving bloody fingerprints on my arms. He was panicking, his breathing coming out in short, choppy, rasps. I'd never seen him like that before. I looked up at him with fright. “What did you do, Adam?” I asked him, gently pulling his arms off of me, looking at his red palms.

“What I had to do, to keep you safe,” he said, breathing heavily. He turned away, and wiped the sweat off of his face, smearing his skin with blood. “She...she knew you had magic. She might have told someone.” He stuttered out after a few seconds, wiping the rest of the blood off on his pants, fingers shaking. 

I looked behind him, through the kitchen door. My eyes widened and I gasped in horror when I saw a pair of slippers on the ground. “You killed Ellira?” I asked when the shock settled. 

“Yes!” He shouted, banging his hands on the walls. “You’ve seen what the Templars are doing! If they knew...they’d kill you, or  _worse._ I won’t let that happen, I’ll do everything in my power to stop it.”

I sighed sadly, crossing my arms over my chest. “She wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“We don’t know that.” He hung his head.

“Well, that’s neither here nor there, nothing we can do about it now.”

“I am sorry, I know you were fond of her.” He looked at the closed window and reached over to me, pulling me close in a one-armed hug. "You're eighteen years old, already an adult, but I still feel like it's my responsibility to take care of you. I'm not going to lie to you, Ashara, this is a very dangerous time to be an Elvhen mage." 

I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. "It's  _always_ been dangerous to be an Elvhen mage. It's always been dangerous to be an  _elf."_

"I'm sorry I can't do more to make this world safer for you." 

* * *

 

**9:38**

I was being called into the study again, so I tucked my newest book under my arm, and walked down the stairs. ‘Tale of The Champion’ had quickly taken the spot as my favorite in my entire Varric collection. I had no idea how Varric could keep his head up in these times. How could he be so optimistic when the world was crumbling around our feet?

I opened the door after a quick knock and stepped into the study. A quick scan told me something was _very_ wrong. There were two young boys curled up together on the couch that was pushed against the wall, their faces scrunched up in distress while they slept. Adam had his head bowed, hands clenching tightly together. There were... _tears_ in his eyes. 

“What’s going on?” I asked in alarm, walking quickly to his desk.  

“Sallindin’s wife was a mage,” he said, looking up, sniffing. “Four Templars attacked their home last night.” He looked at the two boys. “A woman in the Alienage found the boys this morning. They saw the Templars enter the home. They...they killed them both. The boys' mother hid them under loose floorboards. Sallindin told me years ago, that if anything ever happened to him, he wanted me to take care of his children.”

I sat down in the chair across from him, feeling the heavy weight settle on my chest. “He’s gone?” I asked.

“He’s gone,” Adam nodded.

“Why?” I asked. I shook my head and looked over at the young children. "How?" 

He shook his head. “I don’t know, no one knows how their secret got out. Someone betrayed them.”

I looked over at the kids who were snuggled together. “And them? Are we keeping them _here_?” I asked.

“Yes, Sallindin made it very clear that he didn’t want either of his sons to be Bards. We’ll raise them away from this.”

“How old are they?”

“Eight.” He rubbed his temples.

“We need to leave the city,” I swallowed. “It’s not safe for any of us here anymore. I’ll be next, I know it. They’ll kill you for hiding me, and then the boys because of their mother. We need to _leave_.”

“I know that…but are you sure you want to give up everything you worked so hard for?” He asked gently. He rested one of his hands on top of mine, frowning deeply. "You've really made a name for yourself here, you might not be able to make as much money wherever we go." 

“I don't care. I’ve lost too much to this world already, and I refuse to lose anything else.” I sighed and rubbed at my temples, feeling a headache coming on. "Besides, what's the point of having money when you're dead?" 

He smiled sadly. “I agree.” He pulled out a letter and showed it to me. “I’m leaving in a week, I’m going through my contacts to find a safe place for us to escape to. I need you to be ready to leave the city at a moment’s notice.”

“Understood.” I bowed deeply and looked over at the young boys. “What are their names?” I asked.

“The older of the two is called Fenesvir and the younger is Fen’nas,” he said with a slight smile. “Strange names for Elvhen children, so I’ve heard. Sallindin never liked the Dalish very much, I remember when I held them for the first time, he said he named them for the Dread Wolf.”  

I chuckled softly, well aware of his disdain for the elf hippies. One too many had called him and his wife flat-ears. I loved how petty he was. Along with their names brought strange memories from before. I tried to reach out, but it slipped through my grasp like smoke. What would Fen'harel think, if he heard those names? Would he think it was funny or insulting? 

* * *

I was packing up to leave. Our ride would take us out of the city the next morning. Adam said it was just a rickety old cart meant to move hay, but it might just save our lives. I wanted to take all my instruments with me. But I knew that I couldn't. We had to carry everything we took, and there was no way I had enough arms to carry so many music boxes. But I could manage with just the lute that Adam had given me on my first day in the city. Then I could pack the fiddle Saladin had given me into the bag I had packed my clothes. Then I needed all my Varric books. One of the few joys of my life that didn’t somehow get blood on my hands.

My shoulders stiffened when I heard a board next to my door creek, small feet pressing against the wood. “It’s very rude to enter a lady’s room without permission, young man,” I said, turning around. It was the younger of the two boys. The older hadn’t spoken a word in the two weeks they’d been with us. He would sit in Adam’s study the entire day, blankly looking out the window until someone came to take him to bed or feed him or take him to the restroom.

Fen’nas walked into my room and sat on my bed, looking up at me with a critical eye. “What’s your name?” He demanded.

I blinked at him a few times and chuckled softly. “People address me as Cicuta, but Adam and your father called me their sister.”

“That’s not your name though, that’s your title,” he crossed his arms and looked up at me seriously. “I want to know your _real_ name.”

“Is my stage name displeasing to you, little prince?” I asked him teasingly, folding the last of my clothes and shoving them into my bag.

“Yes, it is,” he said. “Uncle Adam said you changed your name like my mother did.”

“Oh, was your mother Dalish?” I asked him.

“She used to be, but she left her clan before she could get her tattoos.” He clicked his tongue before turning to me with a critical eye. “So what's your real name?" He asked. 

“My name is Ashara, it means she who has a great journey." 

He hummed and nodded a few times. "That's good..." he said. "Uncle Adam said you used to be a Bard in Antiva. Then you came here and now we're leaving again. That is a long journey, isn't it?" He asked. 

"Yes, I suppose it will be, won't it?" I smiled at him and touched the top of his head, gently. "Please go make sure your brother is packed up, alright? We want to leave as soon as Adam gets back." 

He jumped off the bed and nodded before running out of the room. He was a strange boy. Always looking from behind corners, spying on anything he could. He would have made a fantastic Bard, but his father would rise from the dead to murder both me and Adam if we let that happen. He seemed to be holding up alright. He'd have his bouts of tantrums and depression, but we expected that. He spent most of his time watching after his brother. 

I looked back onto my desk, where a half-finished letter for Jerimiha sat. We'd kept in touch over the years, writing about the exciting lives we lived. Gone were our silly childhood crushes, and instead we'd formed an unbreakable bond of friendship. We talked to each other about everything. From our exciting missions to our brief love affairs with strangers. I told him I was leaving the city. I held the letter in my hand and sighed. I crumpled it up and threw it into the fireplace. I'd have to wait before I wrote back to him. I didn't want anyone to know where we were going, not even him. I couldn't even trust  _him_ when the threat of death loomed so dangerously over me. 

I took one last look at the room that I had lovingly made my own and grabbed my bags and leaving, shutting it behind me. The boys were waiting downstairs ready to go, sitting on the couch in the drawing room. I smiled and ruffled Fen’nas' hair. I looked down at Fenesvir. "Are you ready, da'len?" I asked him. He looked up at me, startled. He nodded quickly and hid his face in his brother's arm. "We're going to be leaving soon, are you both packed?" I asked Fen'nas. 

"Yes ma'am," he nodded quickly and pointed to three bags that were laying on the ground. "Where are we going?" He asked.

I hummed and tilted my head. "Adam will tell us when we get on the road." 

"Why do we have to leave?" He asked

I put a hand on his shoulder and smiled sadly. Of course, he wouldn't understand. "Because the Templars make it too dangerous for us to stay any longer." 

"Why are they doing this to us?" His voice cracked and he blinked rapidly. 

"Ignorance, da'len, simple as that." 

Fenesvir looked up at me with serious eyes. "Why did they kill our parents?" He rubbed his face with his small fist. I sat there stunned for a moment. His brother's eyes widened. " _Why?!"_ The small boy demanded hands clenched so tightly at his side that his knuckles were white. 

"They believe that your mother's gifts were evil and they lashed out. Their hatred of magic has consumed them and their organization. It's been this way for hundreds of years." 

"It's too late to change them then," he snapped. "So I'll destroy them." 

I opened and closed my mouth a few times. "Maybe when you're older. But for now, please promise me you won't do anything dangerous until your strong enough to protect yourself." I held out my pinkie towards him and he looked at it strangely. I knew it wasn't a custom in Thedas to make promises with your pinkies. "If you take my pinkie you can't lie to me and I can't lie to you," I explained. " _I_ promise to keep you safe, and I want you to promise to stay out of danger when you can." 

He took my pinkie and nodded solemnly. "I promise." 

I smiled and kissed his forehead. "Thank you." 

Adam came home twenty minutes later. He opened the door calmly and nodded to me. "We need to leave...now," he said, gesturing towards the door. The cart was waiting for us, the driver shifting uncomfortably. I helped the boys into the back and covered them with hay. I laid down next to them and Adam covered me. He crawled into the front and we were off. I was able to see the city disappear. I felt something bitter fill my heart. This had been a true home to me. Could I truly hold to nothing? Would this world just rip it all away? 

* * *

_There was someone sitting in my chair. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "Um, excuse me?" I walked closer but the figure didn't even bother to turn around. "Who are you?" I demanded._

_The figure wore a cloak made of wolf fur, wrapped around him dramatically. I couldn't see much more than his mouth and chin. His lips were full and pink, his chin had a dimple on it. His mouth moved upwards into a smirk. "You know who I am."_

_I stood there for a few seconds before I realized. I smacked myself on the forehead and groaned. Fen'harel. I rolled my eyes and summoned another chair, and sat across from him. "Why the fuck are you here? I haven't heard hide nor hair of you for five years...not for lack of trying mind you."_

_"Such a foul mouth," he said. "I couldn't help but come to confront you personally. I find you...curious."_

_"Go fuck yourself," I snapped with a roll of my eyes. "Curiosity told me what being 'blessed' by you means."_

_He chuckled and nodded a few times. "Yes, you were very brash to simply take my offer. One day I will come to collect, but today is not that day. As I said, I just simply couldn't stay away, you are a very strange young woman."_

_"How so?" I asked cautiously._

_"A friend to gentle spirits yet an assassin at heart. A murderer with a bleeding heart for the less fortunate. A bright, intelligent mind with boundless curiosity, yet no foresight to know that I was deceiving you when we first met. Your knowledge of the future, your ability to bend the Fade. A fearsome killer and a delicate woman. You, my dear, are an enigma wrapped up in a mystery."_

_I spat on the ground and turned away from him. "Can you please get to the point, I'm running out of fucks to give."_

_"Is that any way to speak to the man who saved your life?"_

_"Also took my memories and bound me into a deal that I didn't understand."_

_He smirked. "Some of your memories are even locked to me, very strange, I assure you. When I took them, I should have been able to see them all, and yet there's a...barrier that I can't pass through. I've tried many times over the years and yet, you've somehow managed to thwart me."_

_I snorted. "Oh, I get it, you're pissed at me."_

_"Not so, da'asha," he said, his voice smooth and methodic. "No, no, no I am quite delighted by this development. There are so few in this world who can offer me an interesting challenge. I have traveled the Fade for thousands of years and yet...well let's just say that I've never met anyone like you before."_

_"Welp the feeling is mutual, I guess." I shrugged and summoned two cups of rose tea. "So, why are you here, exactly?" I asked before taking a sip of my drink. I noticed that he didn't even reach for his._

_"Tell me...how did you know about Dryads? I know that they haven't existed in Thedas since before the fall of Elvhenan."_

_I blinked at him in surprise. " I read about them when I was a child," I said with a shrug._

_He laughed before he covered his mouth for a moment. "Of course, I should have known."_

_"Your turn!" I said, smacking my hand on the table. "If you get to ask me weird questions then so do I!" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Why are all the ancient Elvhen gods trying to kill me?"_

_"They aren't interested in_ you  _personally. They haven't sensed another's presence for thousands of years. When someone whose energy shines as bright as yours enters such dark, cold realms, they must have gone mad with the desire to take that light as their own and dominate it."_

_"Well they wouldn't be the first driven mad with desire to take and dominate me," I said with a snort. Fen'Harel's shoulders shook and a clear laugh carried quickly through the meadow of my creation._

_"No, I imagine not," he growled, voice low and husky. I stiffened up and looked at him with narrowed eyes. A cool breeze blew by us and I took another sip of my tea. "I have...many other questions for you."_

_"I'm sure you do," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "Why are you doing this? Why me?"_

_He smiled at me again and shook his head. "Why, indeed."_

_Then he was gone._


	14. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, just a warning, this chapter got way fucking darker than I intended it to be. I uh...I finished TME awhile ago and read a bit about what happens to elves in Orlais. Shit ain't pretty. So just kind of a blanket trigger warning for non-graphic descriptions some of the heinous shit that happens in Elvhen alienages. It's also easily skippable. 
> 
> If you think I should put this in the actual tags, just let me know.

**9:39**

_My Dear Jerhimiha,_

_I'm happy to report that we're all safe for now. I'm so sorry it's taken me almost two months to write you back, but we were constantly on the move. I can't tell you where we are, just in case this letter is intercepted. The boys are nine years old now, Fen'nas told me that their birthday was nine days ago. Adam was quite upset that they hadn't said anything. He left our little home for a few hours and came back with a cake. I suppose I understand why he reacted the way he did. We've had so few reasons to celebrate since leaving Val Royeaux._

_Things have been a bit...tense as of late. The Templars crawl over the landscape like nugs. You can't walk anywhere without stepping on one. I'm just so happy none of them know me. But not being able to use my magic is so frustrating. I feel like I'm suffocating, being crushed to death under the weight of my own power. I don't recommend it. _

_How are you and the Chargers doing?  I heard about you lot a few villages back. They said you passed through there a few months before us. Did they pay you in rice?_

_Lovingly your friend_

_Ashara_

I sealed up the letter with wax and handed it off to the raven that had been traveling with us since Jerhimiha's last message. "Are you ready to go home?" I asked it, petting the top of its head. It squawked in delight and raised its leg so I could tie the letter on. When I was finished it soared out our small window. I heard shuffling in the back room and sat Fen'nas and Fenesvir wrestling and laughing loudly. It took them a few seconds to notice me glaring at them with my hands on my hips. 

Fenesvir pushed his brother and stood up, putting his hands behind his back, grinning bashfully at me. "Oh, uh, hey  _asa'ma'lin,_ this isn't what it looks like."

I looked down at Fen'nas who was still trying to pull himself off of the ground, gasping for breath. When he managed to get up, he was bent over, hands on his knees. "Y-yeah! We're fine!" He said with a grin between gasps.

I rolled my eyes and smirked at them. "You two..." I said with a huff. I gestured to the kitchen. "Wash your hands, I made lunch." I turned around and made my way through the empty doorway. I made three plates of food, setting theirs down across from me. The boys shoved their hands in the bucket that I used as a sink and scrubbed their hands off with soap. 

 _"Ma Serannas!"_  They chimed together before digging into the chicken sandwich I made for them. 

"That means...thank you? Right?" I asked after swallowing a bite. 

"It sure does!" Fen'nas said happily. "You're learning real fast!" 

I smiled and pushed my black hair out of my face. "My old teacher taught me most languages in Thedas, so I've gotten used to the process." 

"Well, you'll be able to carry a conversation in Elvhen in no time, if you find a  _real_ teacher. Fen'nas and I are  _hardly_ fluent," Fenesvir said. 

"I still appreciate you teaching me what you know." 

"Couldn't you find a teacher in the Fade?" Fenesvir asked, tilting his head to the side. "You could ask an ancient spirit somewhere to give you lessons?" 

I hummed and nodded, chewing on my thumbnail. There  _was_ one spirit I could ask. He'd been coming around a lot more often. At least three or four times a month I'd find him sitting in my chair, his hood pulled over his face, asking questions just to aggravate me. I'm sure there would be no spirit more intimate with the Elvhen language than Fen'harel. It would only be fair that I asked for something in return from him. 

I looked at the two boys and smiled at them. "Have either of you ever been to the Fade?" I asked them. 

"Yes," they answered instantly. 

"Mother told us that we were mages, like her, but that our powers wouldn't manifest until we were a little older," Fen'nas said. 

I nodded and took a few more bites of my sandwich. Why had  _I_ gotten my powers so much younger than them? Maybe it was just different for everyone? Maybe it was because I was from a different universe altogether? It wasn't like it really mattered, I had my magic, and that's all I cared about. Now I could teach the boys whenever their magic manifested. "I'll help you when that happens," I said with a smile. "You'll be the best mages the world has ever seen." 

Fenesvir nodded solemnly and thanked me. The three of us finished our meal in silence. When they were finished the boys ran outside to play and bid me a good afternoon. When I was finished I put the wooden dishes by the bucket. I walked to my room and sat of the straw bed that was propped up by a wooden bed frame. My bags weren't unpacked, instead, I placed them against the wall, ready to grab at a moment's notice. This wasn't a permanent home, Adam said he was working on finding us a home in another village somewhere in the Frostback mountains. 

I wasn't an idiot, I knew where we were going. I knew what was going to happen. All I'd have to do was keep myself, Adam, and the boys away from the Conclave and everything would be fine. We might have to run away again when Maxwell decided to start killing elves or kicking puppies or whatever fucked up bullshit I'd unknowingly written into existence. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. 

It was really long almost reaching down to my hips.  _Way_ too long. I reached under my pillow and pulled out a knife. There was a dingy mirror above the dresser that was propped against the wall. I grabbed a handful of my hair and cut quickly before I could change my mind. I dropped the hair onto the ground and looked at my uneven job and winced. I kept cutting until my black hair was just an inch longer than my ears. My head felt so much lighter. Like I was free and I sighed in relief. It'd be much harder for enemies to grab me without all that hair. 

I laid back down on my bed and looked up at the ceiling. 

* * *

_When did I fall asleep? I wondered, looking around my realm. I groaned in annoyance when I saw a familiar figure sitting at my table. "We've got to stop meeting like this, or people will start talking," I said sarcastically, sitting across from him._

_He chuckled and snapped his fingers. A steaming glass of something sweat appeared before him. He drank it and sighed, getting more comfortable in his chair. "You cut your hair," he said, gesturing towards me. "It suits you."_

_"Thanks, what the fuck do you want now?" I demanded, calling for my own jasmine tea to appear._

_He shook his head. "You're the one who called me," he said. "So...what can I do for you da'lan?"_

_I groaned and lowered my head. The Fade really would just pick up on any whim I had, wouldn't it? I looked up at him at sat up straighter. "I assume you can speak Elvhen."_

_"You assume correctly," he grinned._

_"Well...would you teach it to me?" I asked him, feeling my cheeks heat up. He didn't say anything for a few seconds so I looked up at him from under my hair. "Please?"_

_He cleared his throat and nodded a few times. "Yes, I suppose I can do that." He shuffled for a few seconds and pulled a book out of his cloak. "Here you are, some vocabulary to help you get started."_

_I took it and flipped it open to the first page. "Thank you!" I beamed at him, feeling giddiness fill me at the prospect of learning something entirely new. I read a few paragraphs before I even remembered that Fen'Harel was sitting across from me. I straightened back up and turned my head away from him. "Are you going to question me tonight?" I asked him._

_He thought for a few moments. "You are a Bard, are you not?" He asked and I nodded. "Where did you learn that talent?" He asked._

_"It's not a happy story," I said darkly. He didn't seem any less interested. I groaned and crossed my arms over my chest. "My master...he put a lute in my hand and told me I had a week to learn to play or he'd kill me," I spat bitterly._

_"Your master...? Were you a slave?" He asked._

_I chewed on my cheek and shrugged. "Yes and no, I guess. I was at the mercy of his whims, I had no choice but to obey, I was his tool. But at the same time, I did earn a small percentage of my earnings. So I don't think it's right for me to say I was a slave."_

_"Was he the same man who taught you to be an assassin?" Fen'Harel asked._

_"Yep," I said casually. "He took me from the Antivan Crows. He taught me to kill and found a teacher for my magic. It was all part of some kind of ironic revenge plot."_

_"Oh~ that sounds interesting. Care to share?"_

_"No, not really." I took another sip of my tea. "Why do you keep coming here, anyway? I can't be_ that  _interesting. There are plenty of assassins in the world, can't you bother one of them?"_

_"Do you truly believe I find you uninteresting?" He asked with a short laugh of disbelief. "No, you're the greatest puzzle of this age. I won't let that slip through my fingers."_

_I snorted and rolled my eyes. "Thanks, I think." We sat in an awkward silence until I could think of something to say. "I feel like I don't really know anything about you...well maybe that's because you forced me to_ forget  _everything, but I only think it's fair if you tell me something about you."_

_"What would you like to know?"_

_"Why did you seal the Elvhen gods away?" I asked._

_He put his cup down and traced his fingers against the glass table a frown on his face, nose twitching. "They were not gods," he said firmly, a growl in his voice._

_I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Look, how about we argue about that next time we meet. In the meantime, please tell me why you sealed them away and created the veil."_

_His shoulders tensed and he tapped his fingers against the table. "It was called the 'World Eater,'" he said. "It was an awful weapon, and each and every one of them would have done anything to have it. Mythal...she tried to stop them, but they all conspired to murder her. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't save her. Then they used it...the world was starting to crumble away, so I locked them up and created the Veil to try and stop the destruction."  
_

_I watched him for a few more seconds. "Why did you take my memories away?" I asked when the silence became too overbearing._

_"You knew too much. I left in what would be vital to your survival."_

_"Like the fact that you're responsible for what will happen at the conclave."_

_"Interesting..." he muttered. I raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked. "If I know that giving Corypheus the orb will fail...why would I give it to him?"  He asked._

_"Because...because..." I looked down at my hands._

_"He'll kill thousands of people in his quest for godhood. I do not consider myself a cruel man. Why would I knowingly damn so many people to such an awful fate?" He shook his head. "No, that monster will never lay a hand on my orb. He's too powerful...but I have someone else in mind."_

_"Who!?" I demanded, standing up. "What are you planning you mutt?!"_

_He chuckled and stood with me. "Do not be angry with me, da'lan. It is for the best."_

_Then he was gone._

* * *

**9:40**

I'd forgotten what a cunt Celene was. I tucked the boys into bed and they looked up at me with trouble in the small faces. "Is it true...what Adam said?" Fen'nas asked. "Is the Empress really going to kill us?" He asked, eyes welling up in tears. 

"Oh, da'len, no," I said, leaning down a kissing his forehead. I brushed his hair out of his face. "The Empress cannot touch us while we're in Fereldan. We'll be moving onto Haven soon. Besides that, nothing can harm you when Adam and I are here to watch over you." 

"How many dead?" Fenesvir asked, looking at me with blank eyes. 

I frowned at him. "You're a child, you shouldn't be worrying about things like that." 

"Am I not an elf? Would that bitch not kill me all the same if it meant the Empire would bend over and kiss her ass?" He snapped, slamming his fist against the wall. "The Chevaliers used to come into our Alienage and  _take_ whatever they wanted from us. When a group of those hopped up fuckers were finished training they'd get drunk and murder elves in the streets! We weren't people to them we were  _rats_ or in the best case scenario  _savage pets._ You should have heard the shit they said about Bards like you! They talked in the streets about how they wanted to bend that 'Antivan rabbit' over a table and-" 

I covered his mouth with my hands. I moved it away and gently cupped his cheeks with my hands. "Please, you're upsetting your brother." We both looked down at Fen'nas who was crying, hiding his face in his pillow. "Do you want to come and talk about it in my room before you go to bed?" I asked him. He looked away, a blush covering his cheeks. "Don't be shy, I won't be upset with you for expressing yourself." 

He reached out and touched my hand. "Yeah," he said finally. He leaned down and kissed his brother's head. "I'll be right back," he whispered before jumping off the bed and holding onto my hand. I smiled and led him out of the room. Adam was in the kitchen, bent over a bowl of soup, furiously writing letters. I nodded to him when he waved to me. I brought Fenesvir into my room and sat him down on my bed, wrapping him up in blankets. 

"Are you afraid?" I asked him after we'd settled in. 

He nodded once. "When I was...four I think...the Chevaliers came into our village and started pulling Elvhen women out of their homes. They took 'em away, we never saw them again. Dad wouldn't tell us what happened but...well I know now." He shrugged and looked at the ground. I felt my heart crumble to pieces in my chest. His shoulders were tense and he was rubbing furiously at his eyes. "There was a couple who lived a few blocks from us. The Chevaliers tried to take their three daughters with them, but the mom and dad fought them and helped the girls escape. So the Chevaliers set the whole town on fire. The  _whole town._ They burned everything...they never left us alone. We weren't allowed to leave the Alienage unless we had work permits. Everything needed permits.

"There were these two people, I didn't really know nothin' about them. They wanted to get married, but they didn't have a permit, so the city guard came in and whipped them through the street. Then strung 'em up in the city square. We couldn't do  _anything..._ we were powerless. You...I'm worried about you." He huffed and crossed his arms. "I'm not strong enough yet to fight 'em off if they come to take you away." I saw his bottom lip tremble before his eyes filled with tears and spilled over his chubby cheeks while he broke down into quiet sobs.  

I slowly moved closer to him and kissed his forehead. "Hush, oh my sweet child, you don't have to worry about protecting me." I pulled him into my arms and crushed him in a hug. " _I_ will keep  _you_ safe from those monsters." His wailing didn't stall for a moment so I rocked him carefully. 

"But they're  _killing_ elves!" He growled, grabbing to me. "They'll kill us! They're going to kill us! Just like they killed mae and bae!" 

"No, dove, they have no power to take me from your side!" I tried to assure him. " _Fen'Harel_ _take them,_ they will  _never_ pull me away from you two." I felt my own tears running down my face. He was curled up in my arms, I cradled him like an infant. We were both sobbing, snot running down our faces. I heard my door squeak open and I looked over quickly to Fen'nas standing in the doorway. I held one of my arms out to him and he ran into my arms, a cry burst from his throat.

We all had our heads raised, screaming and crying, mourning for our lost brothers and sister in Halamshiral, mourning those that had been taken from us by the Chantry, mourning for our lost rights as people. I saw Adam walk into the room, wrapping us all in a large blanket. He stayed with us, sitting on a chair, waiting until we'd calmed down slightly. He tucked us in, sorrow in his beautiful eyes. "We're leaving in two days for Haven," he said to me, brushing my hair out of my face like he used to when I was a child. "We'll be there just in time for the new year, maybe we'll be able to catch a celebration."   

"Maybe..." I muttered before slipping into sleep. 

* * *

Fenesvir walked alone outside the forest path of their temporary home. They'd be leaving within the hour, so he had to make sure that he was quick. He looked up, watching the wind blowing through the trees. He closed his eyes and inhaled, the fresh air bringing new life back into his body. He was never allowed to walk in nature while living in that damned human city. He opened his eyes and got down to his knees, looking straight ahead of him. 

"Um...hello..." he said to the open air, his voice trembling slightly. "My name is Fenesvir, it means the wolf's path. I'm going to be eleven years old soon, but right now, I'm ten. I'm a mage, like my mae, my little brother, and my big sister. I'm not very good at magic right now, but I'll be better one day! But...anyway, we're going to a human town called Haven, and I'm really scared. 

"See the thing is, I prayed to Mythal to save my parents, and she didn't answer. I prayed to Andruil to help us hunt when we were starving and she didn't answer. I prayed to June to give me ideas to protect my family and he didn't answer. None of the Creators have ever answered my prayers. So if they won't...maybe you will?" He pulled out a small sweet from his pocket. "I know it's not much of an offering but it's the very best that I have. Fen'Harel, please guide my steps. Keep us safe." He stood up and put the treat down on a tree stump. He could hear Ashara calling his name, a hint of worry in her voice. "Comming,  _asa'ma'lin!"_ He ran back through the trees, grinning when he saw her smile back in relief. 

And for the first time in many millenniums, a god of the People, answered. 


	15. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of a role this weekend!

**9:41**

We arrived at Haven on the first day of the New Year. In Thedas it was called 'First Day.' Traditionally, you would leave your home to check up on friends and family to make sure they weren't dead. However, in the modern age of the Dragon, towns would mostly gather together in the square to celebrate until the sun came up the next morning. That was the state we found Haven in. Laughter and music came from the streets, the smell of booze and fresh foods filled the air. A guard stopped us at the gate. 

"Yes, sir, we were given permission by the Most Holy to join the other refugees here in Haven!" Adam said with a cheerful smile. He reached into his bag and pulled out the official paperwork. He handed it to the guard who looked it over with a critical eye. 

"Did the Chantry who issued this know you was travllin' with three knife-ears?" He asked, gesturing to the boys and I. My lips thinned and I pulled Fen'nas and Fenesvir closer to me. "We ain't got no more room for servants." 

Adam chuckled and nodded. "Yes sir, the paperwork I filled out required that I list our races, genders, and ages." 

The soldier looked over the papers before shoving them back at Adam. "Find somewhere else, we're all filled up," he said waving a hand at us dismissively.  

"But  _ser,_ the Divine herself directed us here." Adam pointed at some fancy handwriting on the bottom. "See, that's her signature. As I'm sure you're aware the Divine directs all the refugees asking for her guidance towards one of the safe-holds. Do you think yourself above the Devine's decrees?" Adam asked with clear irritation on his face. 

The man spat on Adam's face. "Get the fuck outta here 'fore I run you through, bunny fucker!" He snapped.

Adam growled, wiping the spit off of his face. His cheeks turned an angry, dark red. He pressed his lips together and turned to look at me, rage in his eyes. I shrugged and he turned back to the guard who was smirking wickedly at the three of us. "I demand to speak to whoever is in charge here!" He snarled, not backing away from the guard. 

"Adam, let's just go," I said with a sigh, tightening my grip on the boys' shoulders. 

" _No!"_ Adam snapped at me before rounding on the man. "Now you listen to me you troglodyte, I have written permission from the mouthpiece of the Maker. You  _will_ admit my family and me into this village or-"

"Or what?!" The man snapped, pushing Adam to the ground. "I should have you strung up for threaten' a guardsman!" He kicked Adam in the side and I left the boy's side to run to Adam. I dropped to my knees and blocked another blow from the. 

"Please, sir!" I begged. "We have traveled for months to be here. We mean no harm! We went through the proper channels to be allowed access to travel to Haven." 

He looked me over before a disgusting smirk crossed his face. "Tell you what, bunny, I'll open this gate for you and your brood if you open your pretty le-" 

"What is the Maker's name is going on here?!" An angry voice yelled from the left. We all looked over and saw a tall blond man making his way over to us with several others trailing behind. "Soldier! What is the meaning of this?!" He demanded. He looked down at Adam and me, a troubled look on his face. It was startling for me to realize that I recognized him. Commander Cullen. But he wasn't supposed to arrive until the Conclave was supposed to start. Cassandra would have asked him to join the Inquisition at Justinia's request. It was too soon though, wasn't it? 

"Commander!" The soldier saluted him, standing straighter. "This man was causing trouble!" 

"He was not!" I argued instantly. Everyone looked at me. I felt Adam subtly pinch the inside of my thigh and I understood what he wanted. I allowed tears to well up in my eyes and collapsed upon Adam. I looked up at the Commander with wide eyes. "We have written permission from the Devine to be here! He wouldn't allow us access because three of us are elves! Is  _this_ how the faithful conduct themselves? Assaulting people who come to them for help?!" 

"N-no!" Cullen held his hands up and shook his head. "Not at all, ma'am please, we'll have this taken care of." He turned an angry glare towards the guard. "You! Get yourself to the barracks immediately, I want to have a word with you!" He pointed to the North and the man bowed and marched off without another word. Cullen turned back to me and held out his hand. "May I see your paperwork, ma'am?" He asked gently. I took them from Adam and handed them to Cullen. He looked them over and nodded with a smile. "Yes, we were expecting you." He turned to a woman who was standing there stiffly. "Take them to Cabin seven, to the left of Adan's cabin." 

"Yes, sir," the woman said with a salute. She looked at us kindly. "Follow me please." She bent down and helped Adam to his feet and brushed him off with a shy smile. The gates were opened and the four of us moved through Haven. I was stunned by the party atmosphere all around us. How long would that happiness last, I wondered. The Conclave was obviously in the works if Cullen was already the Commander. How long did we have? What was Fen'Harel planning now that he'd scrapped using the Magister? I felt a chill travel up my spine at the thought. 

The woman handed Adam a key and bid us a good afternoon. Adam unlocked the door and we all pushed inside. It was dusty and clearly hadn't been used in a few years. There wasn't any furniture but the fireplace seemed to be in working order. We all laid our bedrolls out in the corner of one of the rooms. I grabbed a broom that was in the corner of the main room and sighed. 

"I'm going to look for work," Adam said with a smile. "Our money will run out if we're completely reliant on that." 

"Fair enough!" I said with a nod of my head. "I guess I'll clean up a bit, then maybe I'll play a few tunes in the Tavern to make some coin." 

"Can we go explore?" Fen'nas asked, looking up at me hopefully. 

"Stay close to the cabin. Don't go any further than the tavern, got it?" I ordered but they were already out the door. I chuckled and shook my head at them. "Keep an eye on them for me, will you?" I asked Adam. 

"Sure thing," he said with a nod of his head. "Hey...Ashara...you know you can't use magic here, right?" He asked, shifting nervously. 

"Yeah, I know," I said with a shrug of my shoulders. "I don't want to get my head lobbed off." 

He turned pale at the thought, turning his head away from me. 

 _"Si nunca pongo un pie en la capital canina de Thedas, sería demasiado pronto_ ," I muttered sweeping the floor. He chuckled and left me alone. It took me the better part of an hour before I was finished. I grabbed my lute and my cloak from my bag before going out into the snow. I watched as people drunkenly stumbled around town and smirked. Just like a colder version of Antiva with their enthusiasm. 

I sighed a sudden feeling of longing welling up in my chest. Despite all that I'd suffered at the hands of Lucio, Antiva city was still my  _home,_ and I hadn't seen it so long. I missed the city streets. I missed the balls that put Orlais to shame. I missed Zevran, of course, I'd written him letters, but I still hadn't seen him since I was fourteen years old. I'd finished my song for him years ago, but I insisted that I wouldn't sing it until I saw him again in person. I had hope that it would be soon. 

I walked through the snow towards the tavern and looked around. I found the barmaid, and I recognized her. Flissa. Her cheeks were a slight pink as she downed drink after drink of the strong booze she sold. I walked up to her with a smile. "Excuse me, ma'am would you mind if I played here?" I asked, gesturing to a spot near the fireplace. 

She looked started for a moment before grinning. "Have at it!" She exclaimed excitedly. "If you wanna make a few silvers, I'd suggest starting with Andraste's Mabari!" 

I nodded and turned away from her, taking up the place where Maryden normally played during the game. I wondered if this meant that I was technically taking her job from her. I doubt the presence of another Bard would really bother her, we could work out shifts. No problem. No one was paying attention to me until I started up the familiar three chords. Then the entire tavern screamed the lyrics at me, a few of them throwing coppers into the case I had brought to carry my lute in. 

When the song was over they all cheered. I wound up playing it four more times before someone requested I play something else. I thought for a few moments before a grin fell over my face. They almost rioted when I sang them 'The Good Ship Venus.' This crowd was apparently partial to raunchy pirate songs. There were a few more requests before someone asked me to play something slow. I watched as he took a young lady by the hand and danced slowly with her. She hid her face in his chest, laughing softly, and I couldn't help the grin that spread over my face. He dipped her and kissed her cheek and she giggled loudly when the entire tavern hooted and whistled at them.

When the night was over I was ten coppers, four silvers, and two royals richer. I put everything into my music case and left the tavern with a bow of my head before going back to the cabin. Fen'nas and Fenesvir were already home, starting a fire and eating a few apples. They got up from the floor when they saw me and rushed over to give me a hug. "Ah, how was your day, my _da'fenan_?" I asked them with a smile.

"It was great!" Fen'nas said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ripe red apple. "We met an old lady and she gave us apples! She was super nice to us! Not like most humans." 

Fenesvir nodded. "She was very kind. She asked us about our journey here, and she said...well she said that when she was a young woman, her son showed signs of magic when he was just four years old. So the Templars came and took him away from her. She didn't see him again until someone sent her a letter, telling her that her son was..." he trailed off and looked at the ground with a shrug. 

Fen'nas shuffled his feet, mirroring his brother's crestfallen look. "But she said she was happy that Adam was protecting us," he said. He held the apple out to me. "This is for you." 

"Thank you, da'len." I leaned down and kissed his forehead, taking the apple. "But in the future, don't tell people we're mages. Not everyone understands us as that woman does." I warned carefully. 

The looked at each other before turning to me and nodding. "We understand," Fenesvir offered. He took a bite of his apple and smiled. "I like it here!" He said. 

"And did you hear?!" Fen'nas asked, eyes bright. I looked at him curiously and shook my head. 

"By tomorrow, Mages and Templars are going to start arriving from all over Thedas! The Devine ordered a meeting! People think this will be the end of the war!" 

The world stopped. I looked down at him with wide eyes. "W-what?" I asked, feeling everything spinning. 

"By the end of this week, people believe that there will be an end to the fighting! Won't that be amazing?! They're holding the peace talks two days from now in the Temple of Sacred Ashes." 

I pulled them close in a hug. "Yes...yes it is," I breathed. Fen'Harel had said he wouldn't allow Corypheus to have his orb. So why did I have such a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach? I pulled away from them and smiled. "But please make me a promise. Stay away from the Temple, alright?" 

They looked at me in confusion but eventually agreed. I thanked them before I rounded them up and got them ready for bed. The three of us snuggled into our bedrolls, searching for warmth. Haven was  _monsterously_ cold. 

* * *

 

Adam told me the next morning over breakfast that he'd found work with Seggrit. He said he'd be moving merchandise between Haven and the Hinterlands. "I'm leaving in an hour with the rest of the supply crew, will you three be okay?" He asked. 

"We'll keep her safe, don't worry!" Fen'nas said, grabbing Adam's shirt sleeve. "You have to promise to come back as quick as you can though!" 

"I promise," Adam said with a chuckle. He ruffled Fen'nas's hair before pulling him into a one-armed hug. "Come on, Fenesvir, bring it in." He was grinning and the older twin rolled his eyes but made his way into Adam's arms anyway. Adam crushed them for a second and they both groaned in protest until he let them go. 

"Dareth shiral, isa'ma'lin," Fenesvir said with a tilt of his head and a blush on his cheeks. "Don't do anything stupid, we're depending on you to come back." 

Adam turned to me and held his arms out to me. I sighed and shook my head, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I know you'll be fine, but be careful anyways, alright?" 

He pulled away and grinned brightly at the three of us, hands on his hips. "I'll be home in two weeks." He shrugged for a moment. "Shame I'm going to miss the peace talks, but I'm sure you three can tell me all about it when I get back." 

I helped him pack up a bag and then he left us, waving behind him, a grin on his face. Fen'nas looked between the two of us curiously. "Are you and Adam married?" He asked suddenly. 

I choked and looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "No, no, goodness." I shook my head a few times. "Adam is my big brother, just like he's yours. He's been taking care of me since I was a young girl. I love him, but only in the way I love you, or you love Fenesvir."  

"Oh, okay, I get it." He ran out the door and turned to me. "I'm going to go play with the girls who live down by the entrance of town. Want to come, Fenesvir?" He asked. 

"No, I'm going to check out the library in the Chantry." He paused and looked up at me. " _May_ I?" He asked. 

"Of course, just make sure you aren't getting in anyone's way. Keep out of sight of the humans, if you're able to."

"Alright, thank you." 

Then the two boys left me alone and I sighed, leaning against the doorframe. Looking towards the entrance of the town, I could see mages and Templars were being admitted and directed towards the top of the mountain. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to still my beating heart. WIthout Corypheus there'd be no explosion. So there was no need for me to freak out like I was. I pressed my hand against my chest, feeling my heart beating rapidly against my ribcage. "It's okay, you're okay," I said a few times, shutting the door and sitting against the wall. "It'll all be okay, the peace talks will go on as planned, and then I can-" 

 _Sleep_ a voice whispered in my mind. 

* * *

_I blinked awake in the Fade. I wasn't in my normal realm, instead, I stood on marble floors on a balcony overlooking a large city that was floating in the sky. I heard someone scream in anger. I jumped and spun around. Fen'Harel paced back and forth, hands clenched into fists, face obscured by his robe. I could see that his teeth were gritted together, an angry snarl on his face. He looked at me and straightened his shoulders. He took a deep breath and turned away from me. "I miscalculated..." he said simply. "My agents have told me that my plan has gone awry. I'm calling in the favor you owe me now."_

_"O-oh?" I asked, straightening my knee length dress. I was overjoyed by the prospect of not owing Fen'Harel anything. "What do you need?"_

_"Yes, good, so ready to spring into action," he muttered, annoyance clear in his voice. He turned and faced me, resting his hand on the railing of the balcony. "I will not reach the Temple in time to stop what's already been set into motion, you, on the other hand, can be there within two hours if you move quickly. Go and take my orb back, before it's used."_

_I looked at him with wide-eyed disbelief. "I...you_ knew  _what would happen if you gave Corypheus your orb and you_ still  _gave it to him?! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I asked, pulling on my hair._

_"I don't have time to explain, you need to leave, now."_

_I looked at prince dumb ass and blinked a few times, trying to process what was happening._

_"GO NOW!" He screamed, launching all his power towards me, all his anger hitting me like a_ bus.  _I felt true terror grip me like a vice so I did what any smart person would have done. I turned tail and ran as fast as I could away from him._

* * *

I woke up on the floor of the cavern. I didn't have time to think. I didn't even bother to put on boots before I rushed out the door and into the cold of Haven. I heard someone talking about the 'handsome Grey Wardens' that had arrived after a group of Templars. So I moved faster. There was a back gate in Haven and I took it, having to push it open with my shoulder. I saw the mountain, I saw the Temple, and I saw the distance. I groaned but I knew that I didn't have any other choice than to move as fast as my legs would take me. For once in my life, I thanked Lucio and all the cruel endurance training he'd put me through. I slipped on a patch of ice and had to catch myself on a rock before I tumbled back to the bottom of the mountain. I had to jump over a crevice that would have sent me plummeting into a dark cavern to my death.  

Fen'Harel had been right, it had only taken me an hour and a half before I reached the bottom stairs that led to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I took two minutes to take a breather before I started sprinting up the stairs. I'm sure to most people I passed, I looked nothing more than a servant who was running late to something. When I reached the doors, the doors open to all I entered and I could feel that my heart was still trying to burst from my chest. I didn't have any weapons on me. I had magic, but when I unleashed on Corypheus and anyone saw, well there was no _unringing_ that bell. My family and I might have to run away again. I closed my eyes and steadied myself against the wall, slipping into the shadows. 

I rushed through the halls, looking for the large doors that I vaguely remembered from twenty-two years ago. But nothing looked familiar to me. My panic was growing worse. Then...

"SOMEONE! HELP ME!" An Orlisian woman yelled from inside a room I stood in front of. My breath caught in my throat and I almost vomited on the ground. 

But it was now or never. Either I acted, or we all died in the ray chaos. 

I kicked open the door and ran in, crouching down. "What's going on-" My voice died in my throat. This...this was _not_ what I remembered. The Devine was being held up by magic threads from the Gray Wardens. That had happened in the game, but the two figures standing side by side,  _that_ was very unfamiliar. One was holding the orb, observing it, back facing me. The other was obscured in shadows.  

"An intruder...hmmm...yes  _oh,_ I know you..." the taller of the two said. "Kill her, _girem'lin,_ " 

Then stepping out of the shadows was a familiar face I had prayed to never see again. A man who had haunted my mind for years. His eyes were glowing yellow and he gave me a sick smile. "Remeber me?" He asked, his voice echoing eerily, teasing, just as sadistic as I remembered it. Maxwell Trevelyan stood before me proudly, his grin growing wide with hate. "Ready to die?" 

"How many times must I tell you to not to play with your food, foolish _shemlen_?" The tall figure asked slowly turning around. He turned until he was facing towards the Divine and I. He tossed his long black braid over his shoulder. "Kill her." He ordered, pointing at me. I knew him, and when I saw his face, I swore that I died right there and that the shock had brought me back to life. The tall figure, the one who had taken Corypheus's place in this nightmare of a world. It was an ancient face I thought to never see outside the Fade. It was June.

Justinia let out a grunt as she kicked the orb out of June's hands. It rolled towards me and I ran to meet it. "Grab it!" June yelled at Maxwell who darted forwards. We both dropped to our knees and reached out. We each placed out left hands on the orb. We had enough time to look at each other in panic before everything was consumed with a blinding green light.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to write the scene for SO LONGGG. I feel like M. Night Shyamalan in this bitch yo! 
> 
> So did any of you see that coming? Please be honest? Was I as sneaky as I thought I was? Did any of ya'll catch my hints? 
> 
> Just so you know I do plan to explain how all of this happened, this twist wasn't just something I pulled out of my ass.


	16. Part IV

**9:41**

Was he destined to fail at every turn?

He held her hand in his, observing his mark. Nothing had gone according to plan, as was obvious by the poor woman who was withering away in front of him. The Templar was supposed to take his orb and die...he never would have been able to imagine in his wildest dreams that one of the Evanuris would have been able to escape his prison and take control. How...how... _how had he allowed this to happen?_

He snapped back to his bitter reality when he heard a small whimper of pain. What had she been calling herself since shedding that foolish human alias? Ashara, she who is on a great journey. A woman who he'd spied upon since she was just a child. Because she was interesting and nonsensical. Because she had a light in her that he just couldn't quite place. Now she was dying and it was _his fault_.

After several attempts, Solas realized with horror that he couldn't claim the Mark for his own, now that these two mortals had them. He didn't have enough power to remove the mark, not as he was, it would take years. She didn't have years. A few more days, maybe, if the Breach kept expanding. " _Ar ame ir abelas, ma da'asha."_ He whispered to her, pouring his magic into the mark, trying to ease the unimaginable pain she must have been in. Maybe it was a wasted effort. He wasn't even sure if she would wake up.  

The other one, Maxwell Trevelyan, was in a similarly desperate battle for life. Moaning and whining in pain, though Solas felt no pity for the man. He rolled his eyes and pushed the man's head to the side and checking his vital signs. His heart beat erratically and his breath was short and choppy. He was even less stable than the woman was. Solas wondered if he had enough power to take the mark from the woman's hand and place it onto the man. 

If he could only save one of them it would be her. But no matter how hard he tried, and he did _try_ , he couldn't pull his power away from her. He traced his fingers over the mark he'd left on her shoulder years ago. " _Ar ame mar din sul'emalan_ ," he said when he saw her stir again. He laid his hands on her temple and poured soothing magic into her body. The least he could do was make sure she wasn't suffering. " _Ar abelas sul mar nu."_

His self-hatred was interrupted by the sound of heavy boots walking briskly towards the cell. He could hear the Seeker ordering soldiers outside of the cell. They would be separating the two prisoners, never mind that it made Solas's job that much harder. The door opened and four guards trailed in after the Seeker. "Leave the woman how she is," he said, gesturing to her. "She's in no condition to be moved." 

"And the Templar?" The Seeker asked, shifting from foot to foot. 

"He will be fine. Be careful with his head and don't touch the Mark." Solas rolled up his medical supplies.  

"You'll follow the guards and tend to him," the woman said sternly, pointing towards the guards who were gently lifting Trevelyan into their arms. 

"This woman is in a very fragile medical state, she may die if I leave her," Solas explained calmly. 

Cassandra's expression didn't change. When she saw that Solas made no move to follow her instructions, she growled and grabbed him roughly by the arm and hoisting him to his feet. Solas felt rage boil beneath his skin, If he had just a little more power he could have turned her into a pile of ash with a blink of his eyes.  

"Maxwell Trevelyan is the youngest son of a devout noble family! He's a Templar, who has been awarded many honors in his time of service! If anyone can tell us what happened upon the mountain, it will be  _him._ Let her die if you must!" She snapped, before pushing Solas towards the guards and out of the room. He had just a moment to turn and look at the woman one last time before the door was slammed closed. 

So Solas worked diligently to save Trevelyan's life. He wouldn't be allowed to leave until he assured the Seeker that he would survive. So he worked, using every spell he could imagine until the Mark was more or less stable. "The Marks will keep expanding until they wake up," Solas said. "I believe, that their Marks are the keys to closing the Breach. They will have to use their powers together to overpower the Breach." 

"They have to do it _together_?" She asked. 

"Yes, their powers are split. It will take  _all_ of their power combined." 

"Is there any way you can take the mark from the elf and put it on him?" She asked. 

"Ah," Solas hummed. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Of course, no one can trust the knife-ear to wield such power, is that what you're thinking?" 

Her cheeks turned a dark pink. "What are you implying?" 

"I do not think I minced my words, Seeker. Your own prejudice has caused you to decide her guilt, purely based on the shape of that young woman's ears." 

"It's only natural that she would be a suspect," The Seeker defended herself. 

"But not this man?" Solas asked, crossing his arms. She said nothing and Solas nodded. "Ah, yes, of course. Now, to answer your question,  _no_ I cannot remove their Marks." 

She seemed disappointed but nodded. "Continue to monitor his progress...I suppose you'll need to watch the woman as well?" 

"Yes, may I see her now?" He asked, not bothering to keep the irritation out of his voice. 

The Seeker nodded and stepped to the side allowing him to pass. He nodded to her once before exiting the man's room. Unlike his other charge, Trevelyan was provided with a bed, a blanket, and a chamber pot. A cell used for nobility. Ashara, on the other hand, was laid out on a pile of filthy hay, chained to the ground like an animal. 

He entered her cell and kneeled down next to her. She wasn't like the others, he'd known that since he'd seen her for the first time in Wisdom's garden. Now because of his poor choices, she might die. A flame that danced strangely in a world of shadows, snuffed out by Pride. 

* * *

I woke up with my head throbbing. I blinked my eyes open and found that I was laying, bound in chains, on a dungeon floor. I sat up with a gasp, grabbing my head, groaning in pain. Where was I? Why was it all so familiar? I felt a sharp pain in my left hand and fell back to the ground. Was I on fire? I looked over and my eyes widened in horror. On the inside of my palm, a large wound that glowed green sat menacingly on my flesh. This was 'The Mark.' Fen'Harel's mark! I covered my mouth with my other hand to keep a sob from breaking through my lips. I felt tears falling down my cheeks. This was just so cruelly unfair. This was  _literally_ the one thing in my shity life I thought I could avoid. The one thing I hadn't even thought of as a possibility. 

I couldn't even remember what had happened! Just like at the beginning of the game, I remember running, then a woman reached her hand out to me. But that was it. Even though I had prior knowledge from another  _world_ it was all still completely  _blank._ Every time I tried to remember what had happened, I heard static. That was it. It was extremely frustrating. I wiped my tears off with the back of my chained hands and sat up straighter. I needed to stay calm, I needed to keep a level head and decide what to do next without my emotions clouding my judgment. 

I sucked in a breath when I heard the door open. A bald, Elvhen man stood in the doorway with a momentarily startled look on his face, before he walked into the room and kneeled down next to me. I...knew him. Yes, he was Solas. One of the companions from the game. I hardly ever took him with me on missions. He gave me a castle and then disappeared. 

"You...I am glad to see that you are awake," he said, a gentle smile. "Are you in any pain?" He asked. 

As he spoke, the Mark flared up and I doubled over and growled. I felt his hand on my shoulder. I looked up when I felt magic subtly flowing through my body, easing the pain. He tightened his hold on my shoulder for just a moment before pulling away. "I'm sure you must be very confused." 

"That's...a bit of an understatement," I said with a short laugh. I groaned and touched my head with the back of my hand. "Gods above, my head is killing me." I leaned forward and the man looked like he wanted to reach out to me again, but restrained himself. "I'm...alright, but I would like a bit of an explanation if you don't mind." 

"Not at all," he said. "Three days ago, Divine Justinia held an ill-fated Conclave where she was hoping to end the war between Templars and mages. However, through forces unknown, there was an explosion that ripped a hole in the veil. Since then, demons have been coming through rifts, terrorizing the countryside. The explosion, tragically, killed everyone who was in attendance. Everyone except for yourself and a man by the name of Maxwell Trevelyan. The both of you have marks upon your left hands. I confess myself to be somewhat of an expert on the subject of the Fade, and I believe that your Marks can work together to seal the Breach." 

I clicked my tongue a few times and blinked rapidly. I did my best impression of a fish and turned my eyes down to the Mark. "You said me and...Trevelyan both have these Marks?" I asked him and he nodded. I swallowed. I would have to kill him when no one else was looking. The  _moment_ that I saw an opening, I'd have to slip my knife between his ribs. " _Fantastic,"_ I muttered darkly when I realized that the two of us were sitting in silence. I held out my un-marked hand to him. "I'm Ashara, a pleasure I'm sure," I introduced myself. 

He took my hand in both of his, his ears twitching slightly. "I am Solas if there are to be introductions." 

"Solas, could I ask you a favor?" I asked him and he nodded, seeming to sense the seriousness of my tone. "I have two young brothers. Can you please tell me what happened to them?" I asked. 

Solas winced. "Lady Nightengale has taken them into custody," he said. My eyes widened in panic and he held up his hands. "They are unharmed, but they are being monitored."

I watched Solas for a moment before I remembered what had happened at the beginning of the game. I was surprised that Cassandra wasn't in here, demanding that I defend my right to life, trusting a sword at my neck. "They think...I was somehow responsible for what happened?" I asked him, though I already knew the answer. Solas nodded solemnly and I sighed. "Is there any way I could disprove that theory of theirs?" 

"You could help us close the Rifts. I will alert Cassandra to your waking, and then perhaps you could accompany us. You can prove yourself out in the field." 

I nodded. "Alright...but I'll need some new clothes." I gestured down to my dress, that had been ripped and scorched. 

"Of course," he said as he stood. He nodded and left me, closing the door behind him. 

I couldn't move very far, but the chains allowed me to at least get far enough to rest my head against the cool walls of my cell. Everything was too much for me. I felt like I was going to explode. So I closed my eyes and let the panic take control for a few seconds. Just a few. Then I took a deep breath and straightened my spine. I was a Bard, an expert player of The Game. I could handle this. I would be  _fine_ so long as I trusted myself. I needed to stay strong. For the boys, Adam, and the rest of the world. If the universe saw it fit to punish me for creating Maxwell, then I'd destroy him and save the world at the same time. 

I heard loud footsteps and yelling. The door banged open and Cassandra moved into the room and pulled her sword out, Lelliana following behind her quietly. I didn't flinch when she aimed it at my neck. "Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now?!" She demanded, gritting her teeth, eyes wild with rage. She was a woman who had already decided that I was guilty. "The Conclave was destroyed and everyone is dead!" 

I looked at her before casting a glance at Leliana who was circling the room like a cat. "I am sorry to hear of all these deaths, but surely you can't be blaming me for this?" I asked her. 

She grabbed my arm, turning my hand around so I could look at the Mark. "Explain  _this!"_ She demanded. 

"I...cannot," I answered.

"What do you mean you  _can't?!"_ She growled at me. 

"I have no idea how I got that, where it came from, or why it's on me," I said calmly. 

"You're lying!" Cassandra accused. She raised a gloved hand and violently struck me across the face. I grunted and fell onto my side. She raised her hand again, but Leliana stopped her. 

"Cassandra, we still need her," she said. Cassandra shot her a dirty look but turned away with a disgusted huff. Her sword was still out, clutched dangerously in her hand.   

I looked down at the Mark on my hand, pressing my lips tightly together. Every few seconds my hand throbbed. "What happens now?" I asked. 

Leliana knelt down and grabbed me gently by the chin, tilting my head up, looking me in the eyes. "Do you remember what happened? How this began?” She asked. 

I thought for a moment but once again only recalled static, other than the chase I had through the Fade. "I was running away from something. Then a woman reached out to me and took my hand." 

"A woman?" She asked, raising a red eyebrow. 

"Yes, she was trying to save me. But that's all I remember." 

"Leliana, go to the forward camp. Solas, Varric, and I will take her to the Rift," Cassandra said with a sigh. Leliana nodded and left the two of us alone. Cassandra leaned down and unlocked the cuffs around my wrists, but instructed me to hold out my hands for her. She tied a length of rope around my wrist, pulling on them, making sure that my circulation wasn't cut off. 

"Solas told me very briefly what was happening. But...I'm still unclear about the specifics." 

"It will be easier to show you," Cassandra said, pulling me to my feet. She led me with a gesture of her chin. I followed her out of the Chantry. She stopped me and pointed up. My eyes widened. “We call it the Breach," she said. I felt the air leave my lungs. It was a much more horrifying sight when it was real life and not a bunch of pixels on a TV screen. A swirling vortex of chaos and _evil_ pouring out onto the unsuspecting world. Cassandra continued despite my lack of response. "It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It’s not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the conclave.”

"No normal explosion could have done that," I said, keeping my eyes trained on the Breach. "Solas...he said that I might be able to seal the Rifts that have appeared."  

"That is correct," she said. "Unless we act, the breach may grow until it swallows the world.”

"If I can help, then I will," I said simply. The Breach grew and a fire burned up my arm. I screamed and dropped to my knees. Cassandra dropped to my side and steadied me. I gave her a grateful smile when the pain subsided. "Thank you," I said after I'd caught my breath.

“Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you," Cassandra said, holding up my left hand for me to see. "It may be the key to stopping this but there isn’t much time.” 

"I'll do what I can," I said between puffs of air. I closed my eyes and blinked a few times. "Gods above, this really hurts," I grunted. I stood on my own two feet and looked up at the Breach. "Solas said that I would be accompanying you two?" 

"Yes, now follow me, the quicker we move the better," she said, taking off at a brisk pace. I followed after her and noticed that there were venomous looks being shot my way. A young soldier took a step forward, a hand on his sword, but an older soldier stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and a shake of his head. A few townspeople were holding rakes and pitchforks. "They have decided your guilt," Cassandra said when she noticed my hesitation. "They need it. The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy, Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry. The Conclave was hers. It was a chance for peace between mages and templars. She brought their leaders together. Now, they are dead.”

"But has the hope for peace truly died with them?" I asked. 

"Yes," Cassandra said finally. "When the Conclave exploded, both sides blamed the other. Fighting has broken out across the Hinterlands where most of the forces were gathered. The situation has devolved into an almost never-ending battle." 

"Well...that's not ideal," I said, feeling the sudden worry for Adam. I prayed to whoever would listen that he would be okay. The gate opened and we stepped through it. She pulled out a dagger and cut the ropes binding my hands. 

“We lash out, like the sky. But we must think beyond ourselves, as she did. Until the breach is sealed.”

I smirked at her and rubbed my wrists. "What an eloquent way to say you can't protect me from the wrath of the people, madam Seeker." 

She frowned and pressed her lips together. "I can promise you that there will be a trail, nothing more." 

"Ah, so I am to die for your cause as well," I muttered. "I suppose it doesn't matter." 

"Come...the rift isn't far." 

So I followed after her, as close to her heels as I could. "Where is Solas?" I asked her. "I thought I was accompanying the both of you?" 

"He went ahead of us with another prisoner. He will meet us past the gates."

I looked down at my dress and sighed. I got the feeling that we wouldn't have enough time for me to change. At least my leather boots would keep my toes warm. Antivan leather, simply the best.  


	17. Part IV

The south was very different from the place I still considered my first home. Antiva's winters were like a cool caress against your flesh. Relief from the humid heat of living by the sea. There was never any snow, but there would be the occasional icy roadway. The coldest of Antian winters were warmer than the warmest days of a Fereldan spring. I shivered while we walked, my ripped wool tights no longer doing anything to keep my legs warm. I followed after Cassandra as fast as I could, hoping that working up a sweat would warm me up a bit. We walked along the bridge and I had to watch the ground to make sure I wasn't going to slip on any ice. There was a man in Chantry robes praying with nine people, all kneeling together. It reminded me briefly of the scene from Titanic, where everyone gathered together, ready to die. 

"Solas, Varric, there you are!" Cassandra called out, relief flowing out of her like a wave. She hurried her steps and I had to follow behind her at a jog. "Are you prepared?" She asked when she stopped in front of them. 

"As ready as I'll ever be to be ass deep in demons," the dwarf said, turning around, throwing his crossbow over his shoulder. He tilted his head up to me and waved a hand. "Glad to meet ya'. I'm Varric Tethras, rouge, storyteller, and in this instance, unwilling tag along." He grinned at me widely before turning and winking at Cassandra who rolled her eyes and scowl at him.   

I smiled at him and held out my hand for him. We shook and I looked over him, feeling my smile grow wider. "I...I'm sure you hear this all the time, but I'm a huge fan of your works, _monsieur."_

He threw his head back and laughed. "Glad to hear it!" He grinned and I heard Cassandra groan somewhere behind us. "I'm always glad to meet a fan! Even while the world's ending!" 

I laughed and tucked a strand of my behind my ear. It was starting to get longer, about the middle of my neck. "Well, hopefully, whatever  _this_ is," I said waving my hand around, "can save us!" 

"Indeed," Solas said, stepping forward, moving gracefully between me and Cassandra. "Speaking of, perhaps we should head out. I do not believe we have long. We should test the mark out on a Rift, there is one not far from here." 

"Yes, let's go!" Cassandra said. She commanded before turning around and yelling towards the guards at the other end of the bridge. "Open the gate, we're heading into the valley!" The gate opened and the four of us jogged away. There were corpses on the ground. Everywhere. I saw a mage twitching somewhere to my left, obviously not going to make it. I turned away from him and kept moving. There was an overturned cart, a dead donkey still on fire, whoever had been the driver now laid dead underneath it. 

Three men ran past us, their armor clacking together, one of them was holding a hand against a profusely bleeding wound, while his companions were trying to keep him upright. “Maker, it’s the end of the world!” One of them yelled, tears and fear in his voice. I felt a chill in the center of my chest before the Breach pulsed again. I dropped to my knees with a cry of pain. 

I heard the others yell out their surprise, rushing to my side. I felt Solas take me by the hand, placing his other hand on my back. He helped me stand up. " _Eas soun,_ we are almost there," he said, his voice washing over me in a blanket of calm. I could feel him using magic to ease the pain and I smiled gratefully at him when he steadied me and let me go. 

Cassandra stepped closer and observed me for a moment. “The pulses are coming faster now," she said. "The larger the Breach grows, the more rifts appear, the more demons we face.” 

I took a deep breath and blew it out, watching the fog from my mouth float away. "It's a wonder I managed to survive that," I said. A shiver traveled up my spine when a breeze blew over me. 

“They said you… stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious. They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was. Everything farther in the valley was laid waste, including the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I suppose you’ll see soon enough.” We continued forward and I did my best to ignore the smoldering corpses that laid on the ground. We reached the next bridge, slowing down for a walk. "We can gather supplies here before we-" 

The only warning was a high pitch whistle before a meteor crashed down onto the bridge, hitting the five unfortunate men who were standing at the other end. The air left my lungs when the bridge collapsed under my feet. I covered my head with my arms as I rolled down a short hill and smacked roughly onto a frozen river. The Breach hissed again and another meteor headed right for us, crashing into the river, right in front of Cassandra, sending her stumbling back a few feet. In the pool of green light, Shades started to materialize. Cassandra pulled out her weapon, the other two following her example. "Stay behind us!" Cassandra ordered me before rushing forward, swinging her sword down. 

The other two left my side to fight two other demons that were heading for Cassandra's back. Solas twirled his staff over his head, casting a powerful ice spell at one of the shades, freezing it in place while Varric hit it with a bolt, shattering it to pieces. I pulled myself to my knees, gingerly feeling my ribs where I'd landed awkwardly. I hissed, pulling my hand away when my ribs throbbed painfully. Not broken, but certainly bruised. I got to my feet and leaned against the remainder of the bridge, trying to catch my breath. My eyes widened when I saw the sickly green and black bubbling up from the ice under my feet. 

I ran forward, but not before the demon burst from the ice, swinging its claws at my back, ripping my dress in the back. I turned around and saw the shade slowly advance towards me. I turned to my left and saw a box of weapons on the ground. I darted towards the weapons and dropped to my knees. Everything was broken or covered, crushed by the rocks that had fallen on them. Everything but an unassuming wooden staff that would have been used by the circle mages. I groaned and grabbed it. Adam was going to be pissed when he got home. 

I turned and shot a blasting fire towards the demon. It felt...strange. I'd never used a staff before. My aim was off by quite a few inches, hitting the shade in the shoulder instead of the head. I tried again and winced when my spell did little more than fizzle in my hands. It was on me by the time I managed to gather enough magica to hit it again, so I used the staff to bash it upside the head. It hissed at me, swiping down on me with its powerful claws. I blocked with a quick parry, throwing myself down on the ground, sliding on the ice. I kept slipping around so I aimed the staff from the ground. It hit, the beast roaring in pain before dissolving into the energy. I turned over and panted a few times on my hands and knees. I used the staff to help me to my feet, standing on my wobbly legs. I rested my head against the palm of my hand and groaned. My head hurt. I wanted to go home and see my brothers. 

"Drop your weapon  _now_!" Cassandra yelled at me, advancing on me with her sword drawn. 

I chuckled softly and looked up at her, resting my head against the staff. "I assure you, Seeker, I  _don't_ need this staff to be dangerous," I said, 

"Is that supposed to assure me?" She demanded, voice cracking with anger. 

I sighed and stood straighter and held it out to her. "Fine, take it, I'm not really sure we have time to argue." 

She stopped and looked between me and the outstretched weapon before sighing heavily and shaking her head. "No...you're right." She put her sword in its sheath and turned her back to me. "You may not need a staff but you should still have it. I cannot protect you and we shouldn't expect you to be defenseless." She turned and looked at me with heavy eyes. "I should remember that you came willingly." She turned back and kept walking up the trail. 

I moved to follow her, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. "You are injured," he said. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Your back. The demon cut you very deeply." He said. He grabbed a bottle at his side and handed it to me. "Please take this potion. It will slow the bleeding, at the very least." 

I reached behind me and gasped when I felt blood on my fingers. I took the potion he offered me and downed it quickly. I shivered, feeling my skin magically knit itself back together. It felt nothing like when I was healed with my  _own_ magic. "Ah, thank you,  _hahren_." I reached back against and felt my smooth skin, not even a scar. 

"It is no trouble," he said with a smile and a slight twitch of his ears. 

I looked down and sighed. My tights were ripped to pieces, my dress was shredded, and my socks were wet inside of my boots. I might as well have not had any clothes on at all, with all the warmth and coverage I was getting. I looked around and my eyes settled on a dead woman, whose neck was twisted all the way around. "A moment, if you two don't mind, I need a little privacy." I walked over towards the woman and knelt down next to her. 

She was Elvhen, a little shorter than I was. Long black hair that framed her face, dead eyes looking down. I shivered and started to peel the clothes off of her. A leather hunting jacket, a long-sleeved woolen shirt, leather pants, and a belt. Boots not made from Antivan leather. I left her in her small clothes and turned away, gathering up her clothes in my arms and stepping behind the bridge. I took my dress off and shivered violently when my bare skin was exposed to the ungodly cold of Fereldan winter. I threw on the shirt and jacket before I removed my tights and boots, then quickly slipped on the rest of her clothes. The pants were a little short and tight on me, but otherwise, everything fit just fine. 

Then we continued on the road, running after Cassandra who was waiting for us at the top of the hill. She looked disapprovingly at us but offered no comments. We trecked along the slow, deciding to avoid the demons that were on the path instead of fighting them. "Where are all the soldiers?" I asked Cassandra, jogging ahead to stand next to her.  

“At the forward camp, or fighting, they're holding the demons back as best they can," she said, a haunted look in her eyes. "But for now, we're on our own." We all lapsed into silence until Cassandra held out her hand. There was fighting up ahead. We all broke out into a run. Cassandra took a running start, pulling her sword out, and jumping over a short wall and rushing into battle. Varric climbed further up the hill and fired on the enemy from above. Solas took me by the arm and pulled me over the wall. He fired spells at demons expertly and pushed me towards the terrifying Rift. He grabbed my hand and held it up, after casting a barrier spell over me. "Quickly!" He cried. I felt the power surge in my arm. "Before more come through!" 

Then there was a loud crack as energy from the Rift connected with my hand. I screamed and fell back, but Solas was keeping me steady. There was a loud  _bang_ when the Rift closed and the demons that were left all dissolved. I was panting, looking up at the spot where the Rift had been. I put my right hand over my chest and breathed heavily. I looked up at Solas when he stepped away from me. "What did you do?" I asked. 

He smiled at me, placing his hands behind his back. " _I_ did nothing, the credit is yours." 

I looked down at the Mark, flexing my fingers a few times. "So your theory is correct then?" I asked, looking back at him, the thumping of my heart no longer a bruising beat. 

"At the very least, part of it is, yes. Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake – and it seems I was correct.” He frowned suddenly and huffed quietly. "However, I still believe that you will need to work with the human man to seal the Breach. Its power will be too much for either one of you to handle on your own."

"So what do we do now?" I asked. 

"We need to keep you protected for now, so we'll be taking you to the forward camp," Cassandra said. 

"Or...you could take me to other Rifts and we could relieve the soldiers, if even just a bit," I suggested. 

She was already shaking her head by the time I was half finished speaking. "I cannot take a risk that you might be killed. If you die, the hope of closing the Breach may very well die with you."

I didn't bother to hide my annoyance. "I'm not a little child, I'm perfectly capable of handling myself in a fight. If I sit by the wayside, more demons will be pouring through. I won't simply sit back and allow that."  

Cassandra glared at me and pushed me back into the snow. "You should remember, you are a  _prisoner._ You don't get to decide where you go." 

I glared up at her, before allowing my mask to slip into place. I pulled myself up from the ground. "Very well then." She nodded and the four of us continued on the path towards the camp where Leliana was waiting. I wondered briefly when in the game we were, Would she be arguing with Rodrick about Maxwell and I? Or has she not reached the camp yet? 

I turned to Solas while we walked. "You seem to know a lot about everything that's happening," I said with a raised eyebrow. 

"Like you, Solas is an apostate," Cassandra said, looking over her shoulder. 

Solas huffed and stealthily rolled his eyes. “Technically, all mages are now apostates, Cassandra. My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade, far beyond the experience of any Circle mage. I came to offer whatever help I can give with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are all doomed regardless of origin.”

"And if we survive, what are your plans if we seal the Breach?" I asked. 

"One hopes that those who are in charge will remember who helped, and who did not." He was looking directly at Cassandra, the weight of his gaze  _burning_ into her back. “Cassandra, you should know: the magic involved here is unlike any I have ever seen.” He shook his head and sighed. "This prisoner may be a mage, but I find it difficult to imagine any mage having such power.”

"Yes, Solas, I fear you might be right," Cassandra said. "Which begs the question who, or rather,  _what_ caused this tragedy?" 

"Question of the century, I guess," Varric muttered to me, winking at me with a grin. 

Varric didn't like silence. I think it made him feel uncomfortable. We had only been walking for about ten minutes when he saddled up to me with a grin. "So, I'm guessing you must be from Antiva." 

I looked down at him and nodded. "Originally, yes. Antiva City, actually." 

"And then you moved to Orlais?" He asked. 

I stopped and looked at him in surprise. "Yes, how can you tell?" I asked. 

"The way you roll your Rs and presence your Ss. Natives of Antiva develop their own accent when they spend a few years in Orlais. 

I laughed and nodded a few times. "That's very perceptive of you, color me impressed. That must be a useful skill to have." 

Varric shrugged. "Eh, mostly just good conversation starters. So what did you do in Orlais?" He asked. 

I opened my mouth, but all I produced was a high pitched scream when the Mark flared to life again. I staggered, trying to keep myself standing upright. "This fucking thing," I growled, my muscles tight.  

"Shit! Are you alright?" Varric asked. 

"Yes...I..." I stopped and looked over at the others who were looking at me in alarm. "What will happen if the other survivor doesn't wake up in time?" I asked them. Cassandra and Solas shared a dark look between them. "I don't think I have much longer, I can feel this thing eating away at my life force." I sighed heavily. "Solas...you seem to be an expert on the subject, how long do you think I have?" 

He couldn't meet my eyes, his hands tightening around his staff. "Maybe two hours...three at the most."

"Huh, well isn't that unfortunate," I said. I straightened my shoulders. "I suggest, that you take me to the Breach _now_ , instead of waiting for the other man. If I die, I intend to die trying to do something. Is there anyways we can avoid going through the forward camp?" I asked Cassandra. 

"I...no. It's the only way to get into the valley. Would could take the mountain path but with all the fighting and demons...there might not be enough time." 

"Are there horses at the forward camp?" 

"Yes, there should be a few." 

"We're taking them, we'll get there faster, won't we? I'll do what I can with the Breach, that is all I can promise you."

"Thank you," she said earnestly. 

There was another Rift by the gates of the forward camp. When they let us through the gate, we didn't stop by Leliana. Instead, Cassandra went over and gave her an update. We took a few horses and raced off as fast as we could. My own horse was a dapple gray stallion who pulled ahead of the others with little effort. We reached the Temple of Sacred Ashes within thirty minutes, but by that point, my companions were having to hold me up. I looked up at the Breach, the twisted scar in the sky, and felt a tremor travel up my spine. "I'm going to die," I muttered when Cassandra leaned me against a pillar, letting me sit down. "Gods above, I'm actually going to die." 

"You can't give up yet," Cassandra said. I held my hand out to her and she helped me to my feet. I wondered how this would play out when there weren't other people to help us. Was the Pride demon still lurking behind the Veil? We all stilled when a voice echoed around us. 

"Someone! Help me!" 

"What's going on-" 

“That was your voice. Most Holy called out to you. But…” Cassandra was cut off when a bright white light filled the area around us. 

I saw myself kick the door open in the Temple and stop short when I saw the two figures in the room. "An intruder...hmmm...yes  _oh,_  I know you..." the taller of the two said. "Kill her, _girem'lin,_ " 

Then the scene faded when the other figured stepped forward, their face still obscured by shadows. 

“You  _were_  there! Who attacked? And the Divine, is she…? Was this vision true? What are we seeing?”

"I don't  _know!"_

“Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place.” Solas said. His gaze turned to the hlaf-closed Rift. “This rift is not sealed, but it is closed… albeit temporarily. I believe with the mark, the rift can be opened and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.”

"Alright, let's do this."

They helped me stand against the Rift and I raised my hand, letting the power flow out of me. The Rift tore open, and no demon stepped out, but the pain was almost unbearable. Cassandra and Solas were both holding me up. I couldn't even lift my head up, much less use the power of the Mark. I felt Solas pumping magic through me, trying to heal the damage that was being done to my body. "It's almost over!" Solas said firmly. I raised my hand at the Rift and screamed when the energy connected with my hand. There was a silent burst of energy and I collapsed into the arms holding me up. I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head, and I was consumed by darkness.  


	18. Part IV

_"So you live," a familiar voice said. He was sitting against a large tree that stretched so high that I couldn't see the top of it. This was very obviously my own corner of the Fade. "Come, have a seat, I'm sure you have questions."  He grinned wolfishly at me, the majority of his face covered by the hood. I sighed and walked over to him, flopping down under the tree, making my own nitch in the roots of the tree. He was looking at me, his smile slowly slipping off of his face. "Nothing has gone according to plan, as I'm sure you've noticed."_

_"Oh, so June_  wasn't  _supposed to blow up the Temple?" I asked a fake gasp at the end._

_He chuckled and shook his head. "No, Da'evune, this was not my intention." He turned away and raised his hand. He flicked his wrist and the branches parted, letting the moonlight shine down on us. "I fear that this is only the beginning of our troubles. June always was destructive, especially to his enemies. I'm positive that hasn't changed. This was...never my intention."_

_"Exactly what_  was  _your intention?" I asked, feeling the irritation bubble up in my chest. "I almost died because of you. At least a thousand people_ did  _die, and all for what?"_

_"I have no answer that would satisfy you," he said, looking away from me. "I had assumed that whoever opened my orb would die. I could have never imagined that June had somehow escaped from his prison. Or that the Templar would fall under June's compulsion."_

_An echo of static wound in front of my eyes before dissipating, showing me that Maxwell had been the figure standing beside June. How long would I remember that? Until the conversation was over? Until I woke up?_

_"So Maxwell is what then, a Thrall? Is he even really Maxwell anymore?" I asked._

_"Precisely," Fen'Harel. He turned his nose up in the air and inhaled. He offered no further explanation. He was so still. If I didn't know better I would have assumed that he'd fallen asleep. He turned his head in my direction. The ears of his wolf hood flopped forward. "Have you been keeping up with your lessons?" He asked me._

_"Yes, I have," I answered. "I can speak about as much as my brothers can. We're learning together."_

_"Your brothers...young mages in the making." He smirked at me and straightened his back. "I've seen them in the Fade from time to time. They're remarkable young men."_

_I glared at him. "You better not be messing with them. Leave them be."_

_"I have no ill will towards them, da'evune, I was simply observing."_

_"Why?" I demanded._

_"I have had nothing to do for thousands of years other than to watch the world. I find you interesting, so wouldn't it also be reasonable to assume that I would find your brothers interesting as well. You will want to find them a teacher very soon, they're magic will show itself any day now."  He hummed softly for a moment. "You as well, I noticed while you were fighting that you cannot use a staff well. It is a skill you will need."_

_"I think the way I practice magic is perfectly acceptable, thank you very much."_

_"Under normal circumstances, perhaps that would be true. However, the magic you practice is slowly killing you."_

_I felt the air leave my lungs. "What?" I asked._

_"The ancients used to call it_ dura sul ma'dala.  _It means, sacrifice for my kill. Every time you pull the strings of life away from someone else, your own hold on life grows weaker and weaker. Which could explain why your mark was killing you at such an accelerated rate. The elf who watched over the two of you theorized that the man could have survived a few more days at least while the mark ate at him. You, on the other hand, only had hours before it would have killed you."_

_I felt numb and cold. I closed my eyes and waited until I had calmed my hammering heart. I tilted my head back until it bumped against the bark of the tree. A soft laugh escaped my lips before another ripped from my throat until I was doubled over, laughing madly. Fen'Harel sat quietly and watched me until my laughter became sobbing. He seemed momentarily startled. He reached out his hand but stopped just short of touching my shoulder. "Magic has a price, da'evune," he said, his voice gentle._

_"But it didn't matter to the person who taught that spell to me, because she didn't think I'd live long enough to see the negative effects of it," I snapped at him, rubbing my eyes. "Those fuckers, I wish they were alive so I could kill them again."_

_"Calm yourself!" He ordered sternly. "I do not wish to catch the attention of demons tonight." I turned my head away, biting my hand to muffle my sobs. He sighed and I felt that hesitant hand touch my arm. "Do not weep, simply be aware of what you are doing." I nodded and he took his hand off of me. We sat silently for a while. "Will you sing for me?"_

_I smirked and rubbed my eyes and held out my hand. "One copper, then."_

_"You will find your money when you wake," he assured me._

_I shrugged and thought for a moment. Something simple. I felt the smile curl on my lips as I closed my eyes, the familure tune coming from my throat._

"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream

I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

 

 

And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem  
But if I know you, I know what you'll do  
You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

But if I know you, I know what you'll do  
You'll love me at once  
The way you did once upon a dream

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream

I know you, that gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem

 

But if I know you, I know what you'll do

You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream." 

_I looked back at Fen'Harel and saw that he was looking up at the sky. A smile stretched across his full lips. I sat and observed him for a while, the two of us sitting in a comfortable silence. He turned to me suddenly. "I cannot figure you out."_

_"Welp, that's just me, I guess." I shrugged. "Why do you care so much anyway?" I asked._

_He paused. His face twitched a few times and he stood up, moving away from me. "I...I do not," he said firmly. Then he was gone._

* * *

I sat up with a gasp. I was warm, under heavy blankets. I looked around and saw that I was in my cabin, the fire roaring from the other room. I heard someone inhale sharply. I looked to my left and saw Fenesvir was sitting next to me with a wet rag in his hands. "You...you're awake," he said, his eyes wide. He looked around him before standing up. "Lady Nightengale said to get her when you woke up, immediately she said!" 

"Wait a second! Fen-" I called out to him but he was already out the door. I could hear him running. I looked at my bedside table and my eyes widened. Sitting there innocently was a copper coin. I grabbed it and stuffed it into my pocket, looking around the cabin, making sure no one had seen. I sighed and slowly climbed out of my bedroll. I looked around the room and saw that Fen'nas was curled up under blankets. His hair was sticking up in different directions. I smiled and pulled the blankets closer around his shoulders. 

I opened the door of the cabin and stopped short of walking out. Half of Haven was lined up outside our door. I heard some of them whispering to each other, a few of them pointing at me. "The Herald, she's awake." I overheard one woman say to her companion. I ducked my head and walked quickly through the snow, towards the Chantry, where I remembered the advisors would be waiting for me. My feet were freezing. I'd forgotten my boots, but I was too embarrassed to go back and get them, so I eventually just broke out into a run up the stairs and through the sea of people who were trying to catch a look at me. 

When I entered the doors of the Chantry, I almost screamed at the delightful warmth that surrounded me. I shook the snow off of my feet and walked further into the building. There were no people in the main hall, other than two guards who stood by the door at the furthest end of the hall. The War room. I rubbed my neck and nodded to the guards before opening the door to the meeting room. 

“Have you gone completely mad?!" A shrill male voice greeted me. A man in Chantry robes was yelling at Cassandra and Leliana. They should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately, to be tried by whoever becomes Divine!” Rodrick beat his fist on the table. I looked around the room and my blood turned cold. Cassandra looked like she was about to beat the living daylights out of Rodrick. Leliana was observing silently with her hands behind her back. Then Maxwell was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands, looking like he was nursing a headache. 

Rodrick rounded on me, hate burning in his eyes. He looked at the two guards behind me. "Chain these two!" He ordered. "I want them brought to the capital for trial." 

Cassandra waved her hand dismissively. “Disregard that, and leave us.” The two soldiers saluted and closed the door behind me. 

Maxwell looked up and when he saw me, his eyes widened. He obviously recognized me, and I could see the thoughts running through his mind a mile a minute. I didn't let any recognition ring on my face. I was a bard, it was easy to lie. He had attacked us eight years ago. It wasn't unreasonable for him to assume that I'd forgotten about him. 

Rodrick growled angrily, his hands balled into fists. “You walk a dangerous line, Seeker," he warned. 

“The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat. I will _not_ ignore it.”

I looked down at my hands, where the Mark glowed, more mutely than it had been earlier. "Am I still a suspect, Lady Cassandra?" I asked her, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth nervously. "I did everything I could to seal the Breach, I'm sorry...that I was unable to." 

"You absolutely  _are_ still a suspect!" Rodrick snapped at me. "You and that  _man,"_ he said pointing dismissively at Maxwell. 

"No, they are  _not,"_ Cassandra said sternly. 

“Someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect," Leliana said circling around the room. "Perhaps they died with the others – or have allies who yet live.” She circled around him, sizing him up. 

" _I_ am a suspect?" Rodrick sputtered. 

"You, and many others." 

“But  _not_  the prisoner?!" 

Cassandra gestured for me to come and stand near her. I did and she crossed her arms over her chest. “I heard the voices in the temple. The Divine called to her for help.” 

"Then what of the man?!" He asked, once again gesturing towards Maxwell. 

"Trevelyan told us that he cannot remember what happened at the Conclave, but I still believe that he is innocent of killing the Divine." 

“So their survival, that  _thing_  on their hands – all a coincidence?”

“Providence. The Maker sent them to us in our darkest hour.”

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. "I am no 'chosen one.'" I looked over at her blankly. "You do realize that I am an elf, right?"

 “I have not forgotten," she said with a slightly disapproving look on her face. "No matter what you are, or what you believe, you are exactly what we needed when we needed it.”  

Leliana nodded. "The Breach remains and your marks are our only hope of closing it.” She looked between me and Maxwell. "With your aid, we might just be able to save the world." 

"That is not for  _you_ to decide." 

Casandra turned around and slammed the biggest book I'd ever seen down on the table. “You know what this is, Chancellor? A writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn.” She advanced towards him, backing him into a wall, poking him in the chest. “We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order with or without your approval!” 

Rodrick shoved her hand away and retreated out of the room. Cassandra huffed and turned back around. 

Leliana stepped forward. “This is the Divine’s directive: Rebuild the Inquisition of old. Find those who will stand against the chaos. We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no numbers, and now no Chantry support.”

Cassandra nodded. “But we have no choice: We must act now. With you two at our side.”

"And if I refuse?!" Maxwell snapped, standing from his chair. "Why should I stay here with that apostate elf!" He pointed at me and I rolled my eyes. 

"They already know about my magic,  _shem."_ I spat at him, feeling the anger grip my heart. "But since we're pointing fingers, why should I stay here and work with this murderer?" He backed down slightly, the anger still burning in his eyes. "I never forget a face, Maxwell. The second we seal that fucking Breach, I'm going to  _kill you."_

"Enough!" Cassandra snapped. "What are you talking about?" She asked me, her voice calmer. She placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Please explain." 

"I don't have to sit here and listen to these baseless accusations!" Maxwell yelled at me. "I am a  _nobleman!_ What are you? Some filthy little knife-ear whore! Get back in the filthy mud where you belong!" 

I smirked and crossed my arms over my chest. "I  _will_ avenge the thirty innocent people that you murdered. But in the meantime, we have a world to save." I turned to Cassandra and Leliana. "I am willing to place my grudge aside for now in the interest of keeping the world from falling apart. But when this is over, nothing will keep me from my revenge." 

Leliana chuckled softly. "I suppose that this is acceptable." She held out her hand to me and I took it, shaking it quickly. "We must stop this catastrophe before it's too late." We all turned to look at Maxwell who still sat pouting like a little baby. "No matter your dispute, if you do not work together, it won't matter. Because we'll all be dead." 

The Templar stood and slowly walked towards me, his hands balled into fists. He towered at least a foot over me, his eyes glimmering at me with hate. He sucked in a deep breath and held out his hand. "For now, I will work with the Inquisition," he offered. I looked in his face for a few more seconds before I looked down at his hand. I took his hand and we shook once, before releasing each other. We both took two quick steps away and glared. I turned my head away. "What now?" He asked. 

Leliana smirked and sat down across from us. "There has been a developing crisis in the Hinterlands. The two of you will be sent out in separate teams to handle the situation." She grabbed two rolls of parchment that were sealed with red ribbons. She handed one to Maxwell and one to me. "Inside you will find your orders. Trevelyan, your primary goal will be making contact with a Chantry Cleric by the name Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable."

She turned to me, handing me my roll of parchment. "As for you, you will be handling the civilians. They are starving and under constant attack by rouge Templars or mages. They are in desperate need of assistance. You and your team will provide them with whatever they need." 

I huffed and nodded. "Great, when do we leave?" I asked. 

"Both of you should gather your teams and pack up by the end of tomorrow. I want you ready to leave in three days." 

I shrugged and bowed my head before excusing myself from the room. I wondered back to my cabin which I realized was directly across from Solas. I looked over and saw that he was standing outside, looking up at the Breach pensively. His ears twitched then he cocked his head to the side, meeting my eyes. I straightened my back and smiled hesitantly. "Howdy, neighbor," I wiggled my fingers at him.  

He chuckled softly turned in my direction. "Good afternoon," he nodded once before turning away and returning to his thoughts.

I opened the door to my home and walked in, shutting it behind me. Maybe I should ask Solas to join me on the road? He was a very competent mage, after all. I'd want to take him and Varric, if I could. I sighed and opened the door again, peaking my head out. Solas still stood serenely overlooking the village. "Ah, excuse me...Solas..." 

"Yes?" He asked, not looking at me. 

"I...uh...I'm going to the Hinterlands in like three days. Would you be interested in accompanying me?" I asked. He was silent for a moment. He nodded his head once, and I took that to mean 'yes.' I grinned and pulled my head back inside, shutting the door. Cool, one man down. 

* * *

"Hello, Varric!" I greeted him. He was sitting inside the tavern, a drink in hand, watching people. He looked up and grinned at me, and gestured to the seat across from him. 

"How can I help you?" He asked, putting his quill down. "Could I buy you a drink?" 

"That would be nice," I said, straightening my back. "I actually came here on business, hope you don't mind." 

"Nah, don't worry about it." He raised his hand and a barmaid brought over a tankard of  _something_ and set it down in front of me. "So, how can I help you?" He asked. 

"Well, lady Nightengale wants me to explore the Hinterlands. She wants me to handle trying to restore general order around the area. I would be honored if you would accompany me." I smiled brightly at him. 

He thought it over for a few seconds. He drowned the rest of his drink and nodded. "Sure thing, when do we leave?" He asked. 

"Three days, thank you!" I stood up from the table and turned to leave when I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. I stiffened tightly and grabbed them, pulling them forward, slamming their chest into the table. 

"Ah! Sorry doll face," the man said, groaning in pain. "I didn't mean to scare ya." 

I sighed and let go of him. "What do you want, sir?" I asked the soldier who was peeling himself off of the table, rubbing the area around his chest. 

"I heard you singing the other day, was wonderin' if you wouldn't mind, I've got two silvers for ya." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the money. 

"I didn't bring my instruments," I said, but I took the money from him anyway. "So if you don't mind acapella, I can sing for you." I smiled at him and tucked the money in my pocket. 

"Not at all, ma'am." He grinned and sat down across from Varric. "Would ya mind a few verses of Andrate's Mabari?" He asked.  

I shrugged and walked to my area from last time, right by the fireside. When I sang the first few lines before the rest of the tavern joined in. I looked over at Varric and saw that he was watching me with his fingers laced together, a smirk on his lips. He nodded to me once before going back to whatever he was writing, his attention off of me. 

 


	19. Part IV

**9:41**

Leliana's orders were...strange. I looked over the rolled up parchment, again and again, tracing the fourteen words with my eyes, trying to decipher their meaning.  

 _Help the people as best you can_  
_Remain Vigilant  
_ _I do not trust him_

Who was him? Maxwell? Solas? Varric? Or maybe all three. Hopefully Maxwell. I knew that Leliana was a sharp woman, she would be able to sniff out what a bastard Maxwell was. She must have known about him, about the caravan, or at least suspected. She was the great  _spymaster_ of the Inquisition. She probably knew our entire life stories by now. I'd be  _very_ surprised if she didn't. Josephine seemed to know of my Antivan origin. When we'd met, she'd excitedly spoken to me in her native tongue and seemed positively ecstatic when I responded in kind. So I assumed that whatever information that Leliana had acquired she'd shared with our ambassador.   

I pulled on my traveling boots and turned back to the two letters that I was writing. I didn't have any time to finish them, so I folded them up and tucked them into my travel bag. Fen'nas, the sweet boy, had packed my bag for me the night before while I was sleeping. I grabbed it and slung it over my shoulders, tightening the straps. Fenesvir looked up from the fireplace, where he was working on carving something. "You ready to go?" He asked, getting up and walking to my side. 

"Just about," I said, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "Take good care of your brother, alright?" 

"Of course." He stepped away and folded his hands behind his back. "While you're in the Hinterlands...please be careful. I don't want to lose you like we lost Adam." 

"Oh,  _Ma’dharlin,_ please don't say that." I pulled him close to me, tucking my chin against his head. "We don't know that Adam's gone, I'm sure he's just fine." 

He sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around me. He was tense and I rubbed circles into his shoulders. He was getting taller. He almost came up to my chest. He was getting older, losing the baby fat on his cheeks, he looked like a mini-adult, with the serious face he normally wore. "Please promise that you will return to us," he whispered, his hands tightening in my shirt. 

I kneeled down and looked in his eyes. "I promise, I will come back." I brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I will also be looking for Adam while I'm in the Hinterlands. I know the world has been unkind to you, but I truly believe that he will return to us." I ran my fingers over his cheeks. "Now, where is your brother, I need to say goodbye to him." 

Fenesvir pulled away. "He's outside, last I saw, he was chatting the ear off of the Alchemist." He gestured with his chin out the window. I peeked out and smiled when I saw Fen'nas  _was_ chatting with Adan. The human looked  _very_ irritated, but my brother didn't seem to notice. I grabbed my bag and gave Fenesvir one last hug before rushing out the door. 

" _Ma’iovru,_ come and say goodbye!" I called out to him. He spun around and grinned at me, waving rapidly at me before breaking out into a run in my direction. He flung his arms around me. 

" _Dar'eth!"_ He said excitedly. He pulled away and held my hands in his. "Please promise to stay safe." 

"I promise," I said. I ruffled his hair. "Please don't annoy Adan to the point that he had a heart attack." 

"Oh, I won't!" He looked wickedly smug. "Anyways. Thank you for coming to see me before you left." 

"But of course, little brother." I stepped away from him and strapped my bag on around my shoulders. "Please watch after your brother. I'm worried about him. Just make sure he's taking good care of himself." 

"As you wish, He's worried about you," he said. 

"I know that he said as much before I left. That's why I want you to make sure that Fenesvir is kept busy. Help him find a job or hobby while I'm on the road." 

"Alright...I'm sure I can find  _something_ to keep him busy. How long will you be gone?" 

"Somewhere between six and eight weeks was the estimation Leliana gave us." 

He whistled. "You better write, don't leave us in the dark, okay?" 

"Of course." I gave him one more hug before I had to leave. I saw Solas exit his cabin and waved at him with a cheerful smile. He nodded to me and waited by the wall, crossing his arms behind his back. "I've got to hit the road, see you soon kiddo." He waved goodbye to me before entering our cabin, bolting the door behind him. I walked over to Solas and grinned at him, putting my hands on my hips. 

" _Nuvenan ma son_ _,"_ Solas said with a nod.  

" _On dhea!"_ I waved at him. "Are you ready for our journey into the unknown?" I asked with a grin.

He huffed through his nose with a slight smile before he turned and headed towards the front gate. "Yes, I fear the rams will be a source of many nightmares." We were the last to get to the gate and our horses had already been prepared for us. I was once again riding the dapple gray I had when I was racing towards the rift. Solas was paired with a midnight black beauty.

Varric was looking at the pony he was assigned with resignation, he grinned when he saw us approaching. "Chuckles! Minstrel! Glad to see you finally made it." 

"You're late," Maxwell said shortly, drawing my attention to him. I glared at him as he mounted his horse with a practiced precision of someone who'd been doing it since he was a child. 

"A lady is never late," I said, mounting my own horse with much less grace, but in one attempt. "The rest of you are simply _early_."  I could hear Varric laughing quietly. The horse shifted uneasily under me. "So is this all of us?" I asked Cassandra who was strapping her equipment onto the back of her horse. Including Solas, Varric, and me there were eight people. Maxwell, Cassandra, and two of Leliana's scouts seemed to be making up one team. While Solas, Varric, and another elf I'd never seen before, and myself made another. 

"Yes, we will all travel together until we reach the crossroads, where team one will stay and make contact with Mother Giselle. Team two will help the civilians in the area." 

"What are we going to do about all the fighting between the mages and the Templars?" I asked. "That seems to be the main issue the people are facing, doesn't it?" 

"We will subdue the rouges the best we can," she said with a nod. "Now we need to move out, mount up." 

* * *

We made camp twelve hours later. We stopped to let our horses rest every three hours, but  _I_ was exhausted. I pet my mount's snout and tied him to the trunk of a tree. He snorted and moved his head so he could graze. "I feel like I should name you," I said, removing his saddle and laying it out with the others to be cleaned. I hummed and leaned against the tree. He looked up at me uncertainly. "I've never named a horse before...I wish you would just tell me what your name was." I ran my fingers over his coat and smiled. "Cupcake." I nodded, proud of the name. The newly dubbed Cupcake huffed and turned his head away. I let him be and wondered over to where the rest of team two had set up. 

Solas was tending to a pot of something that was cooking over the fire. Varric was cleaning Bianca. The Elvhen stranger was tending to her own horse. She was Dalish, the blood writing scrawled across her face. She wondered over to our small circle and sat down. "Oh, hello." I waved at her. She looked over at me and rolled her eyes. "So...what's your name?" I asked. 

"Nanina Lavellan," she said shortly. 

Oh...

Oh.

OH!

Lavellan! That was the name of one of the possible Inquisitors! I looked at her for a few seconds before I realized I was staring. As shocking as the revelation was, we were on a mission, and I didn't want to start it off with my entire team thinking that I was nuts. I could deal with this later. I smiled at her and bowed my head slightly. "My name is Ashara, a pleasure, I'm sure." 

She huffed and grabbed her travel bowl from her bag and scooped some stew out of our pot. She ate quietly and we all sat in awkward silence. Was that my fault? I looked at Varric who was writing something with a piece of lead wrapped in cloth. I looked at Solas and the heat of his gaze frightened me a bit. He looked at Nanina like she was the scum of the Earth. Yikes. He saw me looking and the look melted from his eyes. Maybe he just really hated rude people. 

"So where is team one?" I asked, noticing that the four humans were nowhere to be seen. 

"The Seeker wanted them to scout ahead. They'll be back in about an hour or so," Varric said with a shrug. "We figured that we'd get camp all set up from them." 

"Oh, alright..." I looked down at my hands. Idle hands were the devil's playthings. "Has anyone fetched water?" I asked. "I heard a river somewhere in the woods. I'd be willing to get some." 

Solas chuckled and shook his head. "No need," he held his hand out towards a bucket that filled with water. I pressed my lips together. "However, if you wish to work, you could help me in cleaning off the saddles. After we've eaten, of course." 

I brightened up and nodded. "Sure thing!" I scooped my own bowl full of soap and ate quietly. It wasn't the fine dining I was used to in Orlais, but as far as camp food went, it was really good. Where had he even gotten spices to season it? Did he bring them or were they found around camp? When we were finished we started in on the horse gear. Solas handed me a rag and the leather polish we'd need. 

It was about twenty minutes into cleaning when I started to get curious. "So, Solas, I hear your somewhat an expert on the Fade." I smiled at him. I saw his ears twitch up. 

He smiled and paused in his chore. "Yes, that is correct," he said. 

"Well, I wouldn't say I was an  _expert,_ but I was wondering if you would be interested in comparing notes." I shrugged and resumed my work. "I have a few spirit friends who hang out in my realm. It's just...well no one in my family really understands why I want to talk about the Fade. My younger brothers more than my older...but they're still young and not very interested in intellectual discussions. They're both twelves so..." I shrugged and he hummed in understanding. 

"What would you like to discuss?" Solas asked, trying to sound only  _mildly_ interested, but I could tell by the way his shoulders were held that he was  _buzzing._

"Well firstly...what  _is_ the Fade, exactly. It seems like a grouping of pocket dimensions, but I'm sure that's a simplistic explanation. I admit that I haven't traveled far through the Fade, but from my experience, it seems like the Fade is mostly empty space until some kind of consciousness inhabits it. Be it spirit or otherwise." 

He nodded. "You are partially right. Simply put the Fade is and isn't. It is everything and nothing at the same time. Without something to inhabit some areas, it is as you put, 'empty space' but more accurately those spaces are pure unbridled potential. They could become anything. They could become new realms or spirits. It's even possible for empty areas of the Fade to become new worlds entirely." 

"Really?!" I asked, perking up. "You're kidding, that's amazing!" I grinned at him. The Fade must have been Albert Einstien's wet dream. "Have you ever heard of the string theory?" I asked him. He looked at me curiously and shook his head. "Well, like the Fade, I am no expert but it's also called 'The Theory of Everything.' It claims that aside from the three dimensions we know and take for granted lie countless others that may exist remarkably close to us yet remain totally invisible. These extra dimensions might well represent other and profoundly different forms of life where our own laws of physics are replaced by others that are so much stranger. Under this theory, it is even possible there may be other dimensions like our own - a mirror image of this Universe we know and take for granted."  

"Fascinating," he said blinking. "Who came up with this theory?" He asked. 

How to answer  _that_ was the real mystery. "A scientist I read about in a book once when I was about seventeen years old." I shrugged. Not a lie, the best kind of lie there was. "If I ever find the book again I'll let you borrow it, but I had to leave most of my library behind when we fled Orlias." 

"What caused you to leave?" He asked. 

I shrugged and looked down at the saddle in my lap. "Ignorance of the masses. My brothers and I are mages, as I'm sure you know. Our older brother Adam and I decided that we needed to leave before. The Templars were murdering people in the streets." 

"Do you miss it?" He asked. 

I snorted and nodded. "Oh  _yeah,_ I do. Well...I miss the thrill that being a Bard brought with it. I miss the parties and masks and dancing. I miss the money I made for every job I was assigned. But I don't miss living in fear for my life. I don't miss seeing my people treated like animals. I'd sooner see Val Royeaux burn than return to live there for another year. It's  _awful._ I'd much rather return to my homeland of Antiva." 

"Your name seems entirely appropriate to who you are then, doesn't it?" He grinned at me and I chuckled before holding up the rag of leather cleaner in a toast. He turned his head and watched as the humans tramped through the underbrush into our camp. One of them was injured and Solas excused himself to heal her wounds. I watched him go and watched him practice his magic expertly.

I used to be able to do that. But it turned out it was killing me. I wondered if maybe that asshole wolf was right. Maybe I should get the boys and myself a teacher. I was snapped out of my thoughts when Maxwell tried to get in Cassandra's face about  _something_ and she socked him in the jaw, sending the spoiled lordling into the dirt. I covered my mouth and stifled my laughter. Varric was doing no such thing. Cassandra straightened up and grabbed her sword sharpener and walked over to me. She sat on a rock across from me and started to work on her gear, offering no words, but did give me a nod of acknowledgment.  

* * *

_My realm was peaceful like it normally was. Curiosity was lounging along the bank of the river of Gatorade. I sat down next to it and it rolled over looking at me with its mouthless face, but its eyes were bright like a smile. "You've been occupied," it 'said.' "The wolf, the mark, the world ending. I wonder if you ever saw this was the direction your life was taking."  
_

_"I can say honestly, this is_ far  _from what I pictured where I'd be at when I was twenty-two. Or...am I forty-seven? Who knows, the point is this is a very strange place to be and I have no idea what's going to happen next."_

_"I'm sure whatever happens will be interesting, to say the least. So what are your plans?" It asked._

_"Depends. For the long term, I'm going to help seal the Breach and defeat...June...it's June." I stopped and looked at curiosity. "Why can I remember that when I'm in the Fade, but not the waking world."_

_"I don't know." It shrugged, all four of its arms._

_"Well...the long term is the same. I'm going to seal the Breach, help save the world from whoever is trying to destroy it, then I'm going to kill Maxwell."_

_"Hm, understandable. What about short term?"_

_"Go to the Hinterlands and help people who are being killed by a bunch of assholes with swords."_

_"Sounds like you've got it figured out for now." We sat quietly by the river bed before Curiosity looked at me again. "Solas is kind of a weird guy, don't you think?" It asked._

_I shrugged. "He seems nice enough. Doesn't seem to really to like one of our companions very much."_

_"Keep your eyes open," Curiosity said simply. "But hey, I'm happy that you found someone who's as big a nerd as you are."_

_I shot it an annoyed look and its shoulders shook with mirth. "Watch it you brat!" I snapped, smacking it lightly on the arm._

_"You big giant nerd, with your nerd brain."_

_I'd never seen someone without a mouth give such a huge, shit-eating, grin before.  I groaned loudly and rolled into the river, letting the cool drink wash me away from my friend, whose laughter echoed in my mind. I could breathe in the water, so I settled and let the current take me wherever it wanted to. As it turned out, not very far. There was nowhere for the river_ to  _take me. So I just wound up back next to Curiosity._

_"He is kind of weird, isn't he?"_

_"Super weird. Like honestly, he acts like he's from ancient times of something."_

_I snorted and nodded. "He_  is _very_ _formal, isn't he?"_

_Curiosity sighed and nodded and looked up at the purple sky that I'd created. I wanted to see if I could expand my realm at some point. How limitless were the possibilities that Solas spoke about? Could I create cities? Societies all on their own? Could I create another universe, one without war or violence? I would have to test it at some point._

* * *

 

We woke the next morning before the sun was even over the horizon. I packed up the tent that I shared with Lavellan because she was off sulking somewhere else. I loaded up Cupcake and sat around with the others to eat breakfast. I was writing my letters that I had started while I was back in Haven. The first was to Jeremiah. 

_My Dear Friend,  
_ _If I could describe to you the strange path my life has taken I don't think you would believe me. But I will tell you anyways. The Temple of Sacred Ashes was attacked, as I'm sure you heard. There were two survivors who stepped out of the wreckage. Myself and Maxwell Trevelyan. I'm sure that you remember that name, don't you? He's the man who attacked us all those years ago. We both have marks upon our hands that seal the Rifts that are opening up all around Thedas. I'd have killed him by now, but without him, the world will end, and we'll all die. But don't fret my friend. I will kill him the moment that it is safe to do so. _

_Thank you for asking after my brothers. Fen'nas and Fenesvir are both doing well. By the gods, they've gotten so tall. They're going to be giants when they become men. As for Adam...I am sad to report that he is missing. I do not believe that he is dead, no he's much to resourceful to die, but I fear for him anyways. I have come to the Hinterlands to help the people, but also to find him and bring him home. By the time you get this letter, I'll have already made it there. We should be arriving today._

_Oh my friend, I hope that we get to see each other again soon.  
-Ashara _

I folded the letter up and tucked it into an envelope. I sealed it with wax and tucked it into my bag. I'd have to wait until we got to the forward camp that had already been established in the Hinterlands before I could send either of my letters off. The raven we'd taken with us was for emergency contact to Leliana. I pulled the other half completed letter out of my bag and got to work. 

_Zevran you big dope!  
_ _I haven't heard from you in six months! What the heck! Are you hurt, have you been captured by pirates, have you joined the Qun? I don't know because you haven't told me! I was very worried about you when I heard that you were going off to take over the Crows, and I pray that everything is going well for you. See, look what you've done to me, you've made me a woman of the cloth. I've gone gray with worry._

_Have you heard about what happened at the Temple with the Devine? You remember hearing about those two survivors? Hey, guess what, I'm one of them and I am monumentally pissed off. I've officially joined the Inquisition and the humans are trying to raise me up as some kind of Herald to their god. The human man more so than me. That man, do you remember I told you about the Templar who killed all the people in my traveling party eight years ago. That's the man who survived along with me. I have to work with him to save the world._

_The world literally rests in the palms of our hands at this point. Never thought I'd live to see the day._

_Zevran I miss you, I miss talking to you. I miss reading your letters to me. Please write back. I hope that you and Taliesin are doing well. Don't forget, you promised I could write your song for you.  
_ _-Little Bard_

When I was finished most everyone was done eating so we mounted up and took off on the last stretch of land towards the Hinterlands. We met Harding, who informed us about what was happening to the people. We set down some of our equipment and made it to the Crossroads about two hours later. When we got there I split off from the rest of the group and sent my letters off with two ravens. One to the north the other to the east. I returned to my group and saw that Maxwell was already talking to an older woman dressed in Chantry robes. 

I wondered around the makeshift camp and saw that Cassandra was standing with her fingers laced together, whispering quietly to herself. I didn't want to interrupt but she seemed to know that I was watching her. Her eyes widened and she watched me carefully. She nodded her head and walked closer to me. "I know it might not mean much, but I must offer my apologies to you." 

"What for?" I asked innocently, trying to hide my grin. "Locking me in a dungeon? Hitting me? Threatening to kill me?"  

Her face flushed and she nodded. "Yes, for that, and many other things." She sighed and rubbed her temples with her gloved hand. "I assumed that you had been the one to murder the Divine. I could not...I didn't  _want_ to imagine that a man who was among the faithful could be responsible for what happened." 

I looked at her curiously. "You think Maxwell had something to do with what happened at the Temple?" I asked her. 

She clicked her mouth shut, but it wasn't a no. "I believe you...what you say about what Maxwell did to your traveling party. I had Leliana look into it. She has uncovered some very...disturbing crimes that Trevelyan has committed. We have agreed that when the time comes and if the world is safe...we will step to the side and allow whatever needs to happen...to happen." 

A sly grin spread over my face and I nodded. "I understand." 

I left her and met up with the rest of my team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So maybe I should give some translations: 
> 
> Ma’dharlin - my pup/young hound/baby hound 
> 
> Ma’iovru - my bear cub/my baby cub
> 
> Dar'eth - Informal goodbye/go safely 
> 
> Nuvenan ma son - hope you are well (formal) 
> 
> On dhea - good morning (informal)


	20. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG did you guys see the DA4 teaser? Lol, it gave me some awful ideas.

**9:41  
Two Weeks Later**

If I could sum up Lavellan in one word it would be...frustrating. I sighed, watching her sit on the broken wall near a merchant's stand. I walked over to her and crossed my arms behind my back. "You should be hunting with Varric right now, why aren't you?" I demanded. She rolled her eyes and I felt my patience thin. "If you can't follow even simple orders, I'm going to have you thrown into the stocks when we get back to Haven," I warned her. She looked at me like I was scum. "Why are you still standing here?" I demanded. " _Get going_!" 

She spat on the ground and started walking. " _Dahn’direlan,"_ I heard her muttering. I didn't care, she could be as mad as she wanted, so long as she did her share of the work, she could curse my name to the gods until she ran out of words.

I wasn't a natural born leader, but it seemed that the mark on my hand put me in that position when Cassandra wasn't around. Team one had left us a week ago to speak to the representatives of the Chantry in Orlais. They were returning to my old home and I was out in the Hinterlands doing the real work. When history looked back on us, would they only remember Maxwell? Or would they remember me as a power-hungry murderer who used my position to murder my competition? But at the same time, I didn't care what people thought of me long after I was dead. I had work to do. 

There were a few Inquisition scouts who had taken up residence in the Crossroads. They were under my command, so I had a group of four go and find the horsemaster and told them to do whatever was necessary to convince him to join the Inquisition. I had another group of four scout around and mark areas where there were Rifts down on a map. I'd take the north, Maxwell would take the south when he was finished with his duties in Orlais. I wonder who he was going to recruit. If he didn't bring everyone he could back with him, I would personally have to recruit them myself. In the game, Maxwell hadn't recruited Vivian because she was a mage and Sera because she was an elf. So I would haul my ass back to Orlais and beg them to join us. 

"Lady Herald!" A voice called to me. I turned around, the basket of elfroot slung over my shoulds. A scout rushed over to me and saluted her chest rising and falling rapidly. 

"At ease," I told her, waving my hand. "What can I do for you." 

"New orders from Lady Nightengale for you," she said handing me a roll of parchment. 

"Thank you." I took it from her and opened it. 

_Herald,  
We've received an offer from a group of mercenaries. They offer to aid us in the fight against the Breach. Make your way to the Storm Coast as soon as you are able and evaluate them. If they seem like a good fit for the Inquisition, please have them travel to Haven._

_Afterward, I would like you to travel back to the Hinterlands and meet with the leader of the Mage rebellion, Feonia. See if she will lend her aid to our cause as well. Then when you finish with that, there's a Gray Warden rumored to be wondering the Hinterlands. Find him and question him about the disappearance of the other Wardens.  
_ _-Nightengale_

I let the tension build up in me before sighing and stuffing the message into the basket of elfroot. I was going to be busy, and I suspected that I wouldn't be back home quite as soon as I had expected. I had a sneaking suspicion about who we were meeting. The Iron Bull and his chargers. Jeremiah had joined them, my old childhood friend would be within my reach soon. I hadn't seen him in years. I wondered how he'd grown up. I dropped the basket and had a soldier tell my team that when they were finished with their chores we were going to leave. No latter than that night.    

"I thought we were staying here to help the people," Lavellan snarked when I told the team that we were leaving. 

I sighed and rubbed my temples. "We will be going to the Storm Coast then we will be returning here. We cannot help the people if we don't have help ourselves. I want you all ready in an hour." 

* * *

It took us three days before we reached the camp that had already been established in the Storm Coast. We rested for the night before heading on our way where there had been a sighting of The Chargers. As we went, Cupcake started acting up, reluctant to move forward. I held up my fist and the group stopped moving. When we stayed quiet, the sound of rain was mixed with the screams of battle. I dismounted from Cupcake and tied him a tree before running forward and peeking over the edge of the cliff. 

The four of us crouched down on the ground and watched as the group we were looking for did battle against a group of people with uniforms I'd never seen before. "There are our guys," I said, pointing to them. "Don't hit anyone in green, got it?" I asked, looking at them. They all nodded to me. "Alright, Varric, Lavellan the two of you stay here and pick them off. Solas, you're with me, cast barriers over myself and the Chargers. We need to move fast, can you take me with you in a Fade Step?" I asked. 

"Yes," he said. 

"Alright, on three we move, got it? Hit 'em with everything you've got boys." They all pulled their weapons out. "One, two,  _three!"_ Solas grabbed me by the arm and we moved so fast I thought my neck would snap. We stopped suddenly and he shot a fireball towards one of the nearest people wearing red hoods. I felt the barrier of magic surround me and I pulled out the two daggers I had strapped to my back. I rushed at the nearest enemy and stabbed down, already moving onto the next when he fell down dead. 

I slipped my knife between the ribs of a man who had his chest exposed. He swung down at me with his sword, but I pulled the knife out and jumped backward. I screamed when I caught an arrow in the shoulder. I left it in as I rushed into the fray. I let the pain and adrenaline motivate me as I ripped through flesh and bone of the men and women who rushed at me. I finally realized that it was over when I stabbed my dagger into a man's eye socket and rip it out before slitting his throat. I heard someone behind me laugh and clap their hands. I spun around, weapons still in hand, but relaxed my stance when I saw that Solas was standing at the side of the giant who was applauding me. 

"Chargers!" He yelled. "Stand down. 

The Qunari man was magnificent, just like I remembered him from when I was still a child. Tall and imposing, muscled to hell, large horns sat atop his head. "I remember you," I said, putting my knives away. I held my hand out to him and he shook it. "Do you remember me?" I asked him. 

"Of course I do," he said with a good-natured laugh. He gestured with me towards a few large boulders. "Come on, let's talk business." 

"Right," I agreed and followed after him. Solas followed behind my right shoulder. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Varric and Lavellan were skimming down the side of the cliff. I sat across from The Iron Bull and observed him. He hadn't changed much since I saw him last. His lieutenant passed by him and told him the number injured. Gladly there were no deaths from their side. "If you find any living, would you mind tying him up?" I asked the Bull. "I believe Leliana would like to meet with him, we've noticed a presence of a similar organization. She'll have...questions." 

The Bull laughed again and nodded. "Do as she says, Krem," Bull said. "Kill the rest, I don't want any of those Tavintor basterds getting away. No offense, Krem."

"None taken. At least a bastard knows who his mother is, that puts us one up on you Qunari, right?" Krem smirked at his commander. He nodded to me once before heading off to issue the men their orders.

"So you're with the Inquisition, huh? Glad you could make it," Bull said with a grin, crossing his arms. "The drinks are coming." 

"Your men are impressive, The Iron Bull," I said, crossing one leg over the other and rolling my shoulders.

"That we are, not before our drinks though," Bull grinned. I chuckled and nodded. 

Krem came back up to us with two drinks in hand. "The throat cutters are done, Chief," he said, before handing the wooden cups to me and Bull. 

"I'm not sure if you remember, but this is my Lutennent Cramissius Aclassi," The Bull said gesturing to the man who nodded to me. 

I took a drink of the strong liquor and didn't flinch, almost downing the entire tankard in one shot. I looked at Krem and watched him shift from foot to foot. I smiled at him. "How is a raven like a writing desk?" I asked him. 

"They are alike because they aren't alike at all, my lady." 

I grinned and raised my drink to him. "Wonderful to see you again." 

"So...you've seen us fight," Bull said, changing the subject. "We're expensive, but we're worth it and I'm sure the Inquisition can afford it."

"I imagine that the gold would be handled by Josephine, correct?" I asked. 

"Exactly, so unless you wanted to buy drinks later, it won't cost you a thing. But don't worry about that, all that matters is that we're worth it." 

"Fantastic. As I'm sure you've noticed the world has become a swirling cesspool of bullshit. We need all the help we can get to fix it. If your company joins with us, we would be very grateful. And your men seem strong and well trained."

"They are, but you're not just getting the boys, you're getting me too. You need a front line bodyguard, and I'm your man. Whatever it is - demons, dragons-the bigger the better." He drank the rest of his drink. "There's one other thing, might be useful might piss you off. You ever hear of the Ben-Hassrath?" He asked.

"They're...city guards, right?" I asked. 

"I'd say spies, but yes that's them...that's  _us."_ He paused to gauge my reaction. "The Ben-Hassrath are worried about the Breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere. I've been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and report on what I find." 

"You really just told me you're a spy?" I asked with a snicker.  

"Yes, but I also  _get_ reports from other Ben-Hassrath agents. If you sign me on, you'll get those reports as well."

"Every report you send will be vetted by Leliana," I said sternly. He agreed and the two of us stood and shook hands. 

"Follow me, if you don't mind, there's someone I want you to meet." Bull gestured for me to follow him. I followed behind me and he greeted a few of the chargers. "Hey, Rhymer!" He shouted and a man who was bent over a booklet look up. Bull pointed at me and he looked at me and his dark eyes widened. His skin was dark, the darkest of anyone in his group. His braids were tied up in a bun on his head. He was thinner than the warriors of the group, which was easily explained by the daggers by his side. He was still handsome, just like I remembered him. But when he stood my mouth fell open. He easily reached six foot five. He was an entire foot taller than me! At least! 

"Giant!" I yelled, pointing at him. I covered mouth and my cheeks heated. He snorted and walked closer to us. "By the gods! You've grown like a damn tree! What the fuck?!" 

He smirked down at me, putting his hands on his hips. "And it looks like you haven't grown an inch since we were children. Wonderful to see you again, Ashara," he said. 

I crossed my arms and sized him up. "I see you're just as annoying as I remember," I snarked. 

He laughed again and slipped an arm around my shoulder. "Now I know you find me totally irresistible, darling, there's no need to pretend." 

I snorted and looked up at him and rested my head against his side. "I'm glad to see you're well, Jeremiah." I wound my arms around his midsection and squeezed him lightly before letting go and turning to my crew who wondered over. 

"So...who is this?" Varric asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

I gestured towards my old friend. "This is Jeremiah, he is the greatest love of my youth," I said. 

"And she continues to be my greatest muse." 

Varric cackled and slapped his knee. "Oh that's good, I'm using that," he said.

Solas straightened up and eyed the tall human man with an almost critical eye. "He must be the one you have been writing to," he said. 

"Yeah, him and an old friend, Zevran." I held my arm out to the rest of my crew. "This is Solas, Varric, and Lavellan." 

Jeremiah greeted them all before gesturing for me to join him for a drink. The two of us walked over to a secluded rock and sat side by side. He pulled a flask out of his belt and handed it to me. We sat quietly, passing it back and forth. "How have you been?" He asked after a few more seconds of silence. 

I shrugged, downing the rest of his drink. "Honestly, awful. There's that mark on my hand, I have to work with that asshole Maxwell, and I still haven't been able to find Adam. Not that I've really had the chance to look for him. Almost every hour of my day is accounted for." 

"Why don't you ask The Bull to send some of us Chargers to go look for Adam?" He asked with a shrug. "We'll bring your idiot brother home, no problem." 

"Really?" I asked. 

"Sure thing, we work for you now. I suggest asking him tonight when we're all settling down for dinner." He took his flask from me and turned it upside down, giving me a slightly irritated look when no wine came out. I grinned at him and he rolled his eyes good-naturedly and punched me lightly in the arm. "Maybe don't drink all our booze though, huh?" 

"I'm afraid that might be easier said than done," I laughed, shoving him back. I looked down at my gloved left hand, where the faint green glow even showed through the thick leather. I sighed and closed my fingers, letting my hand fall between my legs. "Nothing is ever going to be the same, is it?" I asked him. He stopped for a moment before shaking his head. "Not like my life was  _ever_ normal but this...this has gotta be some kind of new low. I swear there's a god out there who's looking down on me and laughing." 

"I thought you didn't believe in gods," he said. 

"I don't." 

He slipped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close, resting his chin on the top of my head. "No matter what happens, I promise I'll be there," he said. He hugged me a little tighter. "You don't have to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders, I promise that I'll do what I can. So you don't have to worry  _too_ much, because there are people looking out for you." 

I snorted and nestled closer into the warmth of his body. "Thanks, Jeremiah," I said. "I really mean it, thank you." 

"Of course," he said with a flippant wave of his hand. "What kind of poet would let his muse perish under the weight of her own responsibilities?" He huffed and shook his head. "Not a very good one at all." 

The two of us turned around when we heard wolf-whistles and hoots from the people back at camp. Several of the chargers were making exaggerated hip thrusting motions and waving their arms around. Jeremiah laughed and rolled his eyes, leaning away from me. "Sorry about them, I promise they don't mean anything by it." 

I reached up and ran my index finger along his jaw bone. "I missed you, old friend," I said. 

He took my hand and kissed the back of it, before sliding off of the bolder. "We better get back to camp," he said. "You've gotta ask the Cheif about your brother. I gotta help the others pack everything up. Knowing Krem, he opened the damn casks with axes." 

I covered my mouth and laughed at the expression on his face. "Alright, talk to you soon, hm?" 

"Right," he said with a nod. 

He walked over to the Chargers who were jeering at us, and he smacked a few upside the head. I turned away from them and wandered over to The Bull who had been watching me from across the field, looking like he was talking to Solas and Varric. Lavellan was there, but she wasn't the conversational type. "Hey there," I said with a wave. My group waited for some kind of direction and I shifted uncomfortably. "I think that we should head back to camp soon. If you and the Chargers would like to join us it's about three miles north. Can't miss it," I said to the Bull

His eyes slid over me and he smiled, his arms crossed over his chest. His teeth were sharp and he stood at an intimidating seven feet tall, at least. "Sure thing. We'll meet you all up there."  

"Fantastic," I said, shooting him my finger guns. "I was wondering if I could as a favor of you and your men?" 

"Sure, you're Inquisition is paying for us, after all." 

"My brother went missing in the Hinterlands about a month ago, when the Breach opened. I was hoping you would send a team out to look for his party." 

"I'll see what I can do," Bull said with a nod. "Get me a description of him and I'll send a few of my guys out there when we're on our way back to Haven." 

"Thank you!" I said, unable to contain my excitement. "Oh, one more thing. I want to thank you for taking care of my friend all these years. He's grown into an amazing young man, and I'm sure that you had some influence over that." 

The Bull threw his head back and laughed loudly. He rested one of his giant hands on the top of my head and messed up my neatly tied back braid. "It was an honor to have him join the team." He winked at me. "Try not to eat him up, yeah?" 

My cheeks heated and I turned away. "What is that supposed to mean?" I demanded. Bull said nothing, holding up his hands in surrender. His grin was wide and dangerous, reminding me of a shark...or perhaps more appropriately a dragon. I turned my head when I heard Varric cackling. The dwarf winked at me and pulled out his leather-bound journal. "Varric! What are you writing?!" 

"Careful, Tiny," Varric said ignoring me. "She  _bites."_

"Hey!" I covered my mouth when I heard my voice squeak. That time, both Solas and Lavellan joined in the laughter. "You all suck, I seriously hate you. I hope a dragon eats you up and shits you out!" 

"You wound me, Minstrel," Varric said, putting a hand on his chest. 

"You're a Bard, aren't you?" Bull asked casually. 

I looked at him, feeling the emotion melt off of my face. "I used to be," I said simply. 

"And you left that life behind to travel the wilderness?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Not exactly..." 

The two of us sized each other up silently. I wondered if I could catch him by surprise if I attacked from his blindside. No...I got the feeling that he had trained somehow to be able to make up for his handicap. I  _might_ catch him off guard if I went for the full on frontal attack. All it took was a knife in the jugular to take anyone down. Where was the jugular in the neck of a Qunari? I let my lips twitch when I saw him sizing me up the same. "My left shoulder," I said suddenly. "When I was younger I was attacked, he got me in the shoulder. If you're planning to kill me that's where I'd aim first." 

He was silent for a second while Lavellan looked at the two of us in alarm. Her eyes were blown wide and she looked like she wanted to head for the hills. Bull nodded. "Right ankle. Broke it a few years ago while I was fighting a dragon."   

"Right, good to know. So I'll see you all at camp. I need to write a report for the Nightengale." I gestured with my head towards the horses that we had tied up by the trees. We mounted up and before we headed out I got one last look of Bull watching me. Eyes hard and calculating. I huffed and snapped the reigns on Cupcake and we were off. 


	21. Part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter, sorry about that! 
> 
> Also sorry for disappearing for like a whole month!

**9:41**

_The wolf was back. Once again, he had invited himself into my space and sat himself down in the crystal chair. "Could I offer you some tea?" I asked with an irritated huff. He turned his hooded head in my direction and I saw his lips twitch down in disgust. I walked across the grass and sat in the chair directly across from him._

_"I see that you've found your old friend, you must be happy," he said, waving his hand, causing a tall glass of wine and taking a sip. "As I recall, he is the other survivor for the incident involving the other bearer of the Mark."_

_"Hey, you know what I don't want to talk about right now?" I asked with a sarcastic smile. "The Mark, Maxwell, or any of my other responsibilities_  or _my tragic past_."

_He paused and nodded once. "As you wish. I have another question for you, then. Have you been practicing your Elvhen?"_

_I shook my head. "Believe me when I say that I have had_  no  _time to do much of anything other than work."_

_"I notice that you haven't been entering the Fade, as of late."_

_I chuckled. "Have you been watching me, Dread Wolf?" I asked with a smirk, resting my chin against the back of my hand._

" _Oh, yes..." he whispered. "Very closely."  He tapped his fingers against the table and tilted his head. "I also notice that you haven't been practicing magic since we spoke last."_

_I hummed. "Shouldn't this be the other way around?"  I asked him and he seemed confused. "Oh, grandmother, what big eyes you have," I said in a high pitched voice. "Oh, dear the better to see you with," I said with a lower voice. "Oh, grandmother, what big ears you have. Do you get it?" I asked._

_"No...no I do not."_

_"No, I guess wouldn't," I said with a sigh. "I haven't been in the Fade because I hardly have time to sleep and I don't do magic because...because you said it was_ killing  _me." I shrugged and crossed my arms. "So I won't be doing magic until I can understand it better."_

_"Are there none of your traveling companions that you think could teach you?" He asked._

_I shrugged. "I guess I could ask the bald Elvhen man, he's smart, but I'm not sure he'd be willing to spend his free time trying to re-teach me the basics of magic."_

_"The...uh.._.bald  _man might just surprise you. I suggest you speak to him about when you come to a place where you can relax."_

 _"That's the thing, wolf boy, there_ is  _no relaxing for me."_

_He laughed shortly and nodded. "Yes, well then, perhaps when you are back in Haven."_

_I shrugged. "Sure, he seems nice enough. A little pretentious, but otherwise, I don't have any complaints."_

_Fen'Harel's shoulders tightened and I could sense annoyance radiating off of him.  "Perhaps you simply are unable to understand him."_

_I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Sorry, didn't know you liked Solas so much. Are the two of you friends?" I asked._

_"I have met him many times in the Fade," he said._

_That was a reasonable explanation. But I wondered what Solas thought about associating with the elf who had destroyed the empire that he constantly lamented on during the game. While I was traveling with him, he hadn't even talked about Elvhenan once. Maybe it was just too early. We hadn't known each other for very long, but I'm sure it was coming at some point._

_"And the human...are you_  friends,  _with him?" The wolf asked, casting his gaze away from me._

_"Do you watch me constantly?" I asked him, a laugh bubbling from my lips. "Gods above, it's like you have nothing better to do."_

_"As it happens, I don't," he said defensively._

_"You_ don't  _have anything better to do?" I smirked._

 _"I_ don't  _watch you constantly."_

 _"What's with all the questions about the men I interact with?" I asked him. I made a fake little gasp and covered my mouth with the tips of my fingers. "Are you_ jealous?"  _I asked. He didn't say anything and I laughed. "Holy shit, you_ are!" 

 _"I_ am not!" 

 _"You_ are!  _Oh, how cute! You have a crush on me!"_

 _He stood up and walked around the table. He grabbed me by the shirt and got in my face. "You mean_ nothing  _to me. My interest in your daily life is nothing more than a passing fascination," he growled._

 _I laughed, throwing my head back. I moved forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, almost touching our noses together. "You don't even like me a_ little bit?" 

 _His breath hitched and he moved a bit closer before he seemed to remember his position and he pushed away from me. "Regardless of whatever feelings I may or_  may not  _have, a relationship between us would only lead us both down a path of destruction."_ _He rolled his neck and slipped his hand into the hood of his cloak._

_I sat back down in my chair and crossed one leg over the other. "Listen, wolf, if you've got the hots for me, that's not a big deal. It's not like you're asking me to run away with you to get married. Seriously, it's flattering." I winked at him and giggled. "I've never seen your face before, so I can't say anything about your looks, but you're really intelligent, and I happen to find that a very attractive trait."_

_"I know...I," he sighed. He walked back to his seat and sat down. "I will not deny that I feel some kind of attraction towards you," he said._

_"For how long?" I asked him._

_"Must we talk more about this?" He asked. "Don't you have countless topics that should have your attention?"_

"Come on,  _just tell me. How about I pinkie promise not to tease you about it for a whole week."_

_He groaned in aggravation. "You were nineteen years old, I believe. You were...experiencing true personal tragedy, for the first time in your adult life. And those two boys, you reached out to them, and almost became like their mother. I found your kindness enchanting. You're also a very intelligent young woman. And you are...deadly."_

_I sighed and laughed quietly. "Well, that's very sweet," I said._

_"It is not," he argued. "Any attraction I have for you will only bring you trouble! Forget we spoke of this!" He demanded, standing._

_Then he was gone._

* * *

The Chargers departed from us to go look for Adam in the Hinterlands, then they'd be heading back to Haven. I also told The Bull if he just  _happened_ to come across a Gray Warden called Blackwall, to ask him to join the Inquisition. But no pressure, and I didn't want them going out of their way to fond him. I wasn't going to tell anyone but I already knew where he was. 

So we mounted our horses and headed towards Redcliff village. We all were stopped outside it, by a Rift that was acting abnormally. Solas said it almost seemed like it was displaced in time. Which sent me back to another old memory about what was happening in the village. Reason enough to say, we took care of the demons and the Rift, the entire process as basic as it could get. Then we were led in. 

"Lady Herald," an attendant said, bowing to me and my group. " We weren't expecting you,"

"We've come to speak to whoever is in charge here if that is at all possible."

The attendant granted my wish, taking me into the building where the leaders of the village stayed. And it was ten minutes later when a man in the  _stupidest_ clothes I had ever seen strolled in like he owned the place. Which I suppose...he did at that point. 

"Ah, the Herald of Andraste," he said, sitting across from me, offering none of the social respect someone in my station should have expected to be granted. "We thank you for handling the Rift outside of the village, I am Magister Gereon Alexius," he said with a gracious smile. "How can we assist you?"

I observed him silently and allowed a smile to brighten up my features. "As I'm sure you're aware, the Breach should be a great concern to every person living in Thedas. I've come here to ask for the Mages to join the cause." 

"And what cause is that, exactly?" The Magister asked. "As I see it, this fledgling Inquisition has done next to nothing to close the Breach." 

I laughed nervously and looked at the Mark on my hand. I looked up at him and let the smile slip from my face for just a moment. "Alone, I am unable to close the Breach, however with the aid of the Mages, we would be able to power the Mark enough where it would close." 

The Magister opened his mouth but someone walked into the room. I recognized him after a few minutes of thought. Felix. The Magister introduced the young man, and when he reached out to shake my hand, he coughed and stumbled, falling into my arms. He slipped a note into my pocket before quickly pulling away from me. "I am so sorry," he said, his eyes shifting side to side. 

The Magister ran to his son and touched his arm. "Are you well?!" He asked, alarm in his voice. He turned to a servant, a wild look in his eyes. " _Quickly!_ Find Fiona, tell her to meet me in my son's chambers." He then turned to me. "I am sorry, but we'll have to talk about this another time." Then he and the rest of his crew quickly exited the room, leaving me and my own in the dust. 

Lavellan spit on the ground. "What an asshole, they call us all the way out here and then they just run off." 

" _Fiona_ called us," I said, standing out of my chair. "But Alexius was the one who met us...strange, don't you think? What is a Tavinter Magister doing here in Redcliff?" 

"That is pretty weird," Varric said, throwing Bianca over his shoulder. 

"Not to mention the Rift outside the village," Solas said. 

"Finally, there's this," I said, pulling the message out of my pocket. "The Magister's son slipped it into my pants." 

"What does it say?" Lavellan asked. 

I opened it and looked down. "'You're in danger. Come to the Chantry," I read. 

"Should we go?" Varric asked. "Could be a trap." 

"Of course we're going, Varric," I said with a smirk. "I love a good mystery." I heard Solas sigh behind me and Varric bark a laugh. I looked at Lavellan who had her arms crossed over her chest. "You're good with sneaking about, aren't you?" I asked. She nodded slowly. "Good, I want you to go around the village and see if you notice anything strange happening. Don't get caught. We'll meet you at the Tavern in two hours, if you aren't there, we'll come looking for you. But if  _we_ aren't back in that time, leave the village immediately and inform Leliana of the situation. _Do not wait for us._ Think you can handle that?" 

" _Please,"_ she snorted. "I thought you were going to give me something  _challenging."_

"That's what I like to hear," I said. 

We broke apart and Lavellan disappeared into the shadows while Solas, Varric, and I walked through the center of town towards the Chantry. I pushed open the door and stopped in surprise when the energy from a Rift ripped through my hand. A dark-skinned mage was fighting off demons. He stopped for a moment and smirked. "It's about time you showed up, mind offering a little bit of help?" He asked. 

My group sprang into action. I could feel Solas cast a barrier into action. I took my daggers out and lunged at the first demon I saw, then when I was finished with that I moved quickly towards the Rift and held my hand out. I grit my teeth at the familure burn of the Rift closing and with one final pull of my hand, it disappeared. 


End file.
